Author Topic: Getting wife and family to accept  (Read 6518 times)

Offline longdrives

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Good job, well done.  Sounds like this forum is helping you and your wife work through this.  Regarding the money to get it done, I totally understand its a big cost but think about it, you will change your life forever.  Everyday I wake up and enjoy being moob free.  It's the most uplifting joyous feeling and I experience it everyday.  I think for the cost of the surgery vs what you will enjoy and feel everyday, its more than worth it to bite the bullet and get it done.  Hold off on retirement for 6 months or longer, dont buy that car, eat top ramen, something, just get it done.  It's really not that bad, trust me I hate needles and blood and pass out at just the thought and I made it happen and I dont regret it one bit, ever.

The forum has been invaluable for a number of topics, and especially for giving me confidence to talk first with my counselor (she's female, so ... yeah) and then yesterday with my wife. 

Different strokes, my friend. I have no problem with surgery, blood, etc. I asked my orthopedic surgeon if they could do a local and I could watch them scope my knee.  I find it fascinating, actually.  I make hemotologists nervous when I donate blood or get labs, because I watch them without any flinching, and even suggest which veins to use.  So the actual surgery part doesn't scare me. On the other hand, I'm 57, and I had a minor heart issue a few years back. So I weigh the risks and benefits, and elective surgery is getting harder and harder to justify based on risk.

After a long conversation last night, it sounds like my wife's in line with me - retiring 6 months earlier with boobs is higher priority than postponing retirement to become breast-free.  At this point, if I had them removed, I'm pretty certain that I'd miss them, too. After yesterday's conversation, I'm pretty convinced my wife would as wel.  And after last evening ... um, yeah, I'm really certain she'd miss them.  'Nuff said.  As to embarrassment, I'm getting over that - some situations faster than others. Once you goes through infertility docs and testing for testicular issues, you realize that personal privacy with doctors is an illusion and then you realize that nobody in the general populace cares much either.

Well at a minimum, sounds like this thread he helped you out with deciding on whatever you are comfortable with and with your wife.  Congrats on figuring things out.  I'm 41 soon to be 42 and I was thinking man, I'm pretty old and should I just deal with it. But I made it happen as I realized I still have many many days left to enjoy the body I wanted.  I think you do too but as you said different strokes.... Take care.

Offline Busty

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Sounds like your wife has not only started to accept your breasts, but is beginning to enjoy them too.  She should, because if I recall from your photos, your breasts are quite full and feminine.  I hope your wife comes to see how good you will feel and look in some nice bras.  Hopefully, she will come to enjoy that, too.

Offline dr.moe

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I got the results of my last tests (including a mammogram which showed a benign cyst).  My T level is high for me - it's near 200 (it's been as low as 28! and nothing we've tried has budged it higher).  However, E is also quite high - about 1.5X normal max for  males. Progesterone is moderate. Endocrinologist is still scratching his head. Based on the doc's latest speculation, I've stopped the TRT for a while, and I'm now taking some phyto-estrogen supplements, the idea being that while it may slightly increase my gyno, the weak phytoestrogens will hopefully bind to the estrogen receptors and block the more powerful forms of natural estrogen from binding, and maybe - just maybe - slow down the aromatization of T into E.  The down-side? It may increase my gyno, and since the supplement includes herbs that have some association with lactation aids, the doc said it is possible that I might experience some minor milk production - again.  Well, it is what it is. 

If I DO start to have more than just very minor lactation, it will kind of force me into a bra even at work, as I'll have to have some type of absorptive pad to deal with leakage, and that will require keeping the pads in place - and thus a bra. That will be a huge step - I can deal with a bra at home, and even on minor errands, but all day at work? It'll take some getting used to.

aboywithgirls

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I think that it will take less getting accustomed to than you think.
In a short time, you'll probably feel naked without one. 

I've had bouts of lactation that can be embarrassing at work. My sister had to tell me about the wicking pads that insert in your bra. She had used them while breast feeding my niece and nephew and gave me a bunch to try. As humiliating as it was to talk about with my sister, it's still less embarrassing that having two wet spots, drawing even more attention to my breasts. It was just a hormone cycle that caused it. It hasn't happened in a couple of years now.

Offline dr.moe

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I've had bouts of lactation that can be embarrassing at work. My sister had to tell me about the wicking pads that insert in your bra. She had used them while breast feeding my niece and nephew and gave me a bunch to try. As humiliating as it was to talk about with my sister, it's still less embarrassing that having two wet spots, drawing even more attention to my breasts. It was just a hormone cycle that caused it. It hasn't happened in a couple of years now.

Way back when my gyno started, my former group lead had just had her third child, and it coincided with the time I had the most 'leakage'. Among other joking around, she offered me her breast pads one day when, without realizing it, I had two not-insignificant dark spots on my shirt.  Then she suggested if I brought in a pump, we could have lunch and pump so I didn't leak.  Her offbeat humor and perpetually-optimistic mood about everything was extremely helpful in dealing with the unexpected developments.

aboywithgirls

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My sister did say that if I pumped, my breast milk may come back quickly and in a greater quantity and I would probably end up with more leakage. I just used the pads and it went.away.

hammer

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Lactation is a very strange to experience!

When I still had one of my testicles and was having tons of pain yet the urologist finally decided to check my testosterone levels and I was at "3"! He said "your wife is likely much higher than you are, your testicle must be rotted like the other one was"! That's after the 1st one was removed finding out that it had rotted after my vasectomy so it was decided to remove the 2nd, and finding that one was rotted as well!

So I didn't stand a chance in hell from not developing bigger breast especially being that I already had gynecomastia anyway from my teen years.

As far as getting used to wearing the bra! Not I said Bob! I've been wearing one off and on since the mid 90's and I still can't get used to it! I rather not have one on! 3 weeks out of the month I don't wear one, the past 2 days I have, and today we are down helping our oldest daughter getting things ready to move so I wear one as I wife said "that's a lot of weight hanging there best to support it"! So I Put One on!

Unlike some of the guys, my wife and both of my daughters support me wearing bras, but the wearing of other women's clothing, they are just like me! They think that is just weird!

Offline 46bboobs

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Lactation is a very strange to experience!

When I still had one of my testicles and was having tons of pain yet the urologist finally decided to check my testosterone levels and I was at "3"! He said "your wife is likely much higher than you are, your testicle must be rotted like the other one was"! That's after the 1st one was removed finding out that it had rotted after my vasectomy so it was decided to remove the 2nd, and finding that one was rotted as well!

So I didn't stand a chance in hell from not developing bigger breast especially being that I already had gynecomastia anyway from my teen years.

As far as getting used to wearing the bra! Not I said Bob! I've been wearing one off and on since the mid 90's and I still can't get used to it! I rather not have one on! 3 weeks out of the month I don't wear one, the past 2 days I have, and today we are down helping our oldest daughter getting things ready to move so I wear one as I wife said "that's a lot of weight hanging there best to support it"! So I Put One on!

Unlike some of the guys, my wife and both of my daughters support me wearing bras, but the wearing of other women's clothing, they are just like me! They think that is just weird!

I find wearing one all the time to be easier than on and off. If I go without for a day, I get the no feeling, even though my back says yes.

hammer

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As a 46H and a guy who has had 3 back surgeries, it not my back that suffers the worse from not wearing a bra, it's that nasty rash I get under the breast!
Back surgery number 4 will be coming after the new year 😣

aboywithgirls

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Good luck.with the surgery, Hammer!
I'm another one who wears a bra everyday, all the time. My breasts are always there and so 8s my bra.

hammer

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Good luck.with the surgery, Hammer!
I'm another one who wears a bra everyday, all the time. My breasts are always there and so 8s my bra.

Thanks,  it's only a year over due so the sooner the better, but I'm at the mercy of the VA being thats where I get my care! I am not really going to complain to much as I do get great care there!

Offline Paa_Paw

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My wife worked as a CNA in a Nursing home and was well aware of the fact that a lot of older men have some degree of breast enlargement.  As a result, my condition came as no surprise to her at all.  It has never been an issue. 
Grandpa Dan

Offline dr.moe

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My wife worked as a CNA in a Nursing home and was well aware of the fact that a lot of older men have some degree of breast enlargement.  As a result, my condition came as no surprise to her at all.  It has never been an issue.

It was somewhat comforting to me at my first mammogram when the doctor noted that among men over 50, about a third had some degree of gyne, and that among younger men, the incidence was rising.  That helped me realize I wasn't alone in this.  (But it would have been better to have found this forum way back then, too. )


 

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