Wearing a bra for now

[blad]

Conor, your attitude is great and you have a good group of friends. 

You are in the early stages of wearing a bra daily with the added layer of most of your friends knowing. When I started wearing a bra it was not so known amongst my friends. But this will be a positive for you as there is now no feeling that there is anything to hide and your confidence to wear a bra everyday and in public will grow very quickly. If you are getting comfortable among friends that know you wear a bra then being out in public with people that have no idea of your bra will be a non event for you. With clothing that does not advertise any bra straps showing your visible profile to anyone in a public setting does not really look any different than you would being braless, perhaps even downplaying any breast projection with the smoothing and bounce control with a bra.

It will quickly become routine to put your bra on in the morning and take it off at night while forgetting you are even wearing one for most of the day, like wearing socks. There is nothing negative with a future of wearing a bra everyday for the rest of your life as many of us here do and most women do. When I discovered how well I fit a bra at an early age and how comfortable it felt to wear one, I began to have a more positive outlook on my breast development that only grew with time. It turned out not to be a big deal to have breasts and to wear a bra daily for their care and support. It would have been miserable if I did not wear a bra.

The worst time for developing and dealing with breasts is school age. That is behind you now and if you have done this well so far then there is truly nothing of concern ahead of you. Your home and friend support has been a wonderful start. Wear you bra daily with confidence and enjoy the benefits of the comfort and support, and it will become so routine and natural. You have a great future ahead of you with university and wearing a bra everyday will feel very normal, if you even think about it at all.  

[Conor W]

Well, my attitude varies. I’m trying to stay positive. Although some days it’s depressing. Yesterday I was looking at the lads chests and pecs - they all go to the gym, I never did as I was too embarrassed. Then I look at the girls and realise they are like mine. I think it’s the heaviness on my chest and the fact they are not meant to be there ! Sort of ruined my planned life. 
I have good friends, there are 12 of us who stick together. But my boobs are like the secret that’s now out and confirmed. One of my best friends is one of the girls, well two of them. All three of us were sat in her room this morning - it’s hot so I had taken my lumberjack style shirt off that hides things and  just sat in the t shirt with bra on. I’m starting to feel more comfortable with them two like that. Today , they even said that I looked comfier in the normal bra than the racer, which is true. 
But her mum popped in and sat on the bed to start chatting. After the usual stuff she said well atleast I understood what women had to deal with, it must be great my mum supporting me so well. I knew my friend had been chatting to her mum, as she then said we were saying, maybe I could try different styles or dressing more gender neutral and before I sort of knew it I had said ok to giving it a try at theirs one day. She said she would see what she could sort.  I’m meant to be staying at their holiday home in summer and sensed she wanted me dressed to be less like a boy with breasts? But I was embarrassed as I could see her having a good look at my chest. When she went my friends said it Could be a way of dressing to make life easier or comfier. Anyhow we had lunch .... out for a BBQ tonight at another friends house whose parents are away. 

[aboywithgirls]

You should also look into trying a tankini. It's a good way to enjoy a hot tub or swimming pool and still get the support and coverage you need.

[Conor W]

I’ve just asked Debra my friend. She basically sent me back a picture of a swimming bra top and bottom shorts bikini and  said am I up for a tankini. I’m not sure I’m up for the bottom but it’s going to look silly in trunks. 

[blad]

Swimming is one thing I missed out on. I remember swimming lessons in the summer between grade 7&8 with significant breast development by then. I was always super self conscious and would try to keep my breasts below water level when ever possible. That was my last time public swimming.

I never had the fortitude to wear any form of coverup later in life, I felt it would look like a wet T shirt contest vs an obvious women's garment. In a perfect world I would have no problems wearing a swimming bra top or a one pice swim suit but I have kept my need for a bra as private as I can.

[Conor W]

Think I’m more a t shirt and tank top person to hide 

Going to swerve the hot tub summer

[p.r.1974]

I started puberty between 9 and 10, with some glandular growth and a bit from weight. The school days were not pleasant, and having someone to talk to without judgement would have saved a lot of heartache, poor choices, and therapy. I wish I had the support from my family growing up that you have.

The girls started before little league. I have always been a big guy. I grew very quickly to 6'2 and 200lb with a b cup by the 7th grade, along with all of the usual puberty issues. I believe that my size prevented a lot of the cruelty that kids are capable of, from reaching me.

The last time I remember being around people shirtless by choice in public was an after season little league soccer party, and football practice locker room in junior high; otherwise just intimate partners at a private pool. After the pointing and laughing at the party, I would always be in a t-shirt or not go swimming. And I always made sure to be the last one in the showers after football practice, or shower at home.
 
My development fluctuated between an A & B cup until my mid 20's, and has increased to my current 46C or 44D, I have not been swimming but a few times 15 years ago, before now. 

The housemates and I recently got an above ground pool set up at our house. I decided to get a few one piece suites, and some leggings that work in the water, and go to my ankles. I have warn them with a tank top and sandals. The towel covers a lot on the way out, and after drying off after. I am careful, as I am still getting the deck and privacy fence built, but evening and later dips in the pool have been quite relaxing.

[Conor W]

Do you wear a bra ? 
Today has been one of those days it hits home. Really hot. Went to the beach with friends. Drinks, food…. The lads in trunks, the girls in their swimming costume and I felt like a gooseberry. Being so hot I did go down to t shirt and shorts. No one really noticed out of the group as they distract from me. They all knew and Could probably see the outline . When I lie down they look like mounds sticking up. 

Again, Deb and Bev were saying try a different look and get a swim outfit but it’s a step too far. I’m envious of the guys. Think I’m even envious of the girls being able to just be

[MarcoB]

I did go down to t shirt and shorts. [...] They all knew and could probably see the outline.  [...]  I’m envious of the guys. Think I’m even envious of the girls being able to just be

I'm sure you could find a Hawaiian or plaid short-sleeve casual shirt that would hide a bra quite well, unlike a T-shirt, even if the fabric is thinner than that of a T-shirt.  I know what you mean about the girls not having to worry about it though.  They can have it super visible and not worry about it.  It seems like decades ago bras were absolutely to be hidden, but today many girls seem to want to show them off.  The men are a few decades behind.

[Evolver]

I know what you mean about the girls not having to worry about it though.  They can have it super visible and not worry about it.  It seems like decades ago bras were absolutely to be hidden, but today many girls seem to want to show them off.  The men are a few decades behind.

This is a subject that I raised a while ago, to the point that it sometimes distracts me and makes me think of wanting to ask a stranger what bra she is wearing etc. due to its visibility if i spot certain features of the bra. Of course I would never ask, but visible bras are noticeable to me, just as I'm sure a visible bra being worn by a guy would be noticed more so by others than one worn by a lady. People tend to notice unusual things. I'm not sure that many women purposely show their bras off, but if they make them visible then they obviously don't care. 

Marco, your last sentence is more important to me. Men are probably centuries behind! Frustratingly though there are examples of men wearing bras overtly in public and no-one cares. Many professional sporting teams wear specially designed crops that hold GPS trackers and other monitoring equipment for example, and for all intents and purposes they look exactly like bras. In warm weather, it is common to see footage of these athletes wearing only these crops on top while training. No-one cares. Yet, if one of these fine specimens was caught by the cameras putting on a lacy balconette after getting out of the shower, it would be career over!

[aboywithgirls]

I used to care if my bra was visible until I didn't. A while back, a lady friend asked me, out of the blue, at lunch, " what size are you?". I knew what she mentioned but, I pretended not to know. I thought about denying it but the was no point. She told me how obvious it was and that she completely understood. I think that I was a DD or a DDD back then. I should have realized that at least to the people that I see everyday would notice not just the little bumps on my back but, the big bumps on the front. We are who we are and we should try to be proud of ourselves for doing what is best for ourselves. In this case, it's wearing a bra that improves our quality of life.

[Harmony74]

Wow; all respect to you. D cup.  I couldn’t imagine my boobs getting bigger. They are filling a b cup fully. I lost weight and they stuck out more. My mum said don’t expect anything to happen quickly when she had the bra chat instead of binding. In other words, you are going to have to learn to live with them for a bit.  I just find the bra comfier and not has hot or constrictive. I also find they can feel sore occasionally and now if I don’t wear a bra my back aches a little. So it has become normal to put one on getting dressed in the morning

Just wanted to add that comparing cup sizes irrespective of band size doesn’t make a lot of sense. A 42B is equivalent to a 34DDD in volume. Cup size just describes the difference between band and cup. 

[Johndoe1]

People get hung up on the letters without understanding what it truly means. A letter or letters by themselves mean nothing without the number. Your breast shape and type play into it as well. 40B is actually small where a 28B would be considered medium or large depending on shape and type of breast. I myself is 36DDD or 38DD depending on the bra. Because I am wideset and shallow and large root, my projection is not what the numbers and letters might suggest. Do I have a lot of tissue? Yes but it is spread out over my chest in such a way I need the cup size to fit around the tissue. If I were full and narrow root in my size, I would look like a porn star! It's all relative.

[curiousk]

John, you are so right.  I hate when I hear women talking about the cup without the band.  I'm a 42C or 40D depending on the bra style.  I'm wideset, shallow and large root as well.  
Conor, I'm proud of you.  You've taken this head on and came up with the best solution for yourself.  I wish that starting wearing a bra at your age.  Things would have been so much easier.  You will live a life of comfortable and building confidence in your appearance.  Wearing a bra and dressing for your shape will become second nature.  Bra shopping will get easier too.  

[Conor W]

Not sure about bra shopping. Whilst I’m sure they could see i wear one and why , I’m not sure I could walk into a bra department or somewhere like Victoria’s Secret and buy a bra for myself or talk to the assistant. My mum got the bras and I’d use Amazon.
I can’t face exposing myself and situation more but have let close friends see me in a t shirt and bra , it’s too hot to put a shirt over the t shirt. It’s the mounds infront that are more noticeable than the straps even in a baggy t shirt. I’m sure I’ll get my head round all these sizes thing but I know my boobs feel big and heavy and show- and  It’s difficult to hide that bit. The nipples are big as well. 
Summer is the worst time dealing with this. But I can’t be a hermit and don’t want to loose friends. 

I’m basically mainly wearing ordinary bras from the supermarket or internet. One is basic and the rest look more lacey. They seem to work the best. I was looking on line at t shirt bras. Don’t really want to ask my mum , are they better ? Presumably better with t shirts but how?