Wearing a bra for now

[aboywithgirls]

You need to ask your mother to go with you bra shopping. You need to tell your fitter what you want in a bra andbget one that fits. Otherwise, it's all trial and error.

[Conor W]

I really couldn’t deal with going to a shop with my mum to have a stranger measure my bust and try bras on. Bad enough my mum did it.
I’m 18
I’m guessing most 18 year old girls buy their own clothes like that .
And there is a difference between buying one in Walmart or going to Victoria’s Secret or another underwear shop

[Johndoe1]

If you can't or don't want to go with your mum, ring up small stockest and ask if they fit people with gynecomastia. If they know what gynecomastia is, they will more than likely fit men. If they say yes, ask for a private after hours appointment. They will be happy to do that. They will also understand about your intrepidation. This is how many of us do it. Then go by yourself.

[Conor W]

I’d have to build myself up for that. When the doctor was measuring and feeling them I was blushing and red. That was months ago and they are bigger now. He was grabbing them and feeling the weight and talked of glandular tissue. The nipples are huge. I’m sort of used to the ones I have I guess. The softer ones are comfier. Maybe that’s me 

[blad]

There really is not substitute for trying on the bras before you purchase them, and getting help from the sales associates in selecting and sizing. I think you would find that they genuinely want to help and understand the benefits of choosing the right bra and size, no matter who the breasts belong to. They would more likely be empathetic than be at all negative towards you. Perhaps a store outside of your immediate area would be more covert, and avoid places like Victorias Secret as they are fashion focused rather than function and I am guessing not the product you want to wear at this point.

That said, obviously you will find this a big step to make as did most of us, but honestly once you have tried it once and survived you will realize it is no big deal and can actually be fun to find the bra you want to wear. Having your mother or sister come the first time could help for sure.

And you may get lucky buying off the internet. Often though, how a bra appears on line and the reality once you get it can be surprisingly different. The actual look and feel of the bra can be different than expected, and of course sizing will seem like going to Vagas. 

But the big take away you have already come to is realizing the comfort and benefits of a bra to manage our breast development in the most logical way. It will not take long to seem like a complete routine to put a bra on in the morning and forget about it. It is not ultimately something to fixate about or define you, it is just clothing like a pair of socks.

But it is good to have the correct fitting socks. 

[p.r.1974]

I would also echo the benefit of purchasing new bras, for the mentioned reasons. For me. I also can't get past the bra being worn by a stranger, though I have worn  those of an intimate partner. I was terrified of buying for myself at first, and did the online thing. Lots of hit and miss until I found a couple that worked. I finally got tired of the time and expense of hit and miss, and went into Lane Bryant to grab some underwear "for a friend".  And did this a few times while still doing the online thing. 

Then one day, I decided to go back, and the sales associate that had helped me find some panties for my friend said hello and asked me if I needed any help. So, even though I was all but shaking, I decided to say I was looking for me, and I didn't know where to start. At that point, she opened up and relaxed quite a bit. I have not been small in height or stature since I was 5, so my asking had let her know there was a need. She had been professionally polite and helpful before, but genuinely friendly, understanding, and accepting after I was. Since then, I have been helped by everyone, and had the conversation about how they have a good idea who is actually buying for a friend or partner, and who is not. Again all professional and friendly, but a polite nod that they figured out where I was; they have heard it all.

I would say that it is all your decision in how you proceed at your pace. Though I will say life has been more pleasant, and more thrifty, being able to try on in store, and with help of some new friends.

[Conor W]

I’m not sure I could even face a conversation where I asked my mum to take me shopping for new underwear , let alone bras. And my sister is younger than me by one year. I could ask my friends but would need to think it through. And certainly not yet. Then my mum would wonder where new bras had come from so maybe best left till I go to university

[curiousk]

Conor, you are doing great.  You will do everything in your time when you are the most ready and comfortable.  My experience, like most of the men here, have had great experiences while bra shopping.  It is nerve wracking the first time to walk in and ask for help.   The woman that fit me and helped me was amazing.  She suggested some bras to try on, which would work best for my shape, asked what I was looking for, etc.  I owe her a lot for the comfort and confidence I have today and wish I could have done it at your age.  

Keep up the good work.

[Johndoe1]

I agree with curiousk, the woman who fitted me the first time was very understanding and was very conscientious that I was very nervous and I found out later I was NOT her first male. I am happy to say, we are still friends and she continues to advises me when asked about the look of a top and such.

[Conor W]

Thanks for the positive vibes. I’m trying to cope with things. It sort of has become a bit more normal getting dressed in the morning to put my bra on, they fit and it’s comfier. Otherwise you hear the skin flopping about. My dads home at the minute and as normal he doesn’t say much. Been wearing a t shirt then a thicker shirt not buttoned up. 
My mum and sister have not said much apart from my mum asking if I was ok. I think when I’m at uni if I need more I can see about buying them in a different town. 
The more difficult conversations have been with female friends. Asking questions and almost wanting to look. I’m meant to be staying with them in their holiday home in summer. Debra said her mum had been asking what I was going to wear round the pool on chill out days. So I need to tackle that. Next week I start this admin stuff working from home. Summer job so that should occupy me and I don’t need to hide it as much at home. T shirt and shorts 

[expedient-traveller]

I have found that button up shirts with patch pockets over the breasts will hide the breasts very well. Place a small note pad in one pocket and some folded money in the other. The pad and the cash will break up your breast outline and people will not be able to tell. I have done this from a B cup to my current I cup, and it works!
 
I am currently working on my 8th degree and no one has ever said anything about my breasts all the time I have been at university. People just do not notice because they are not expecting to see a gentleman with breasts. The only comments I have received have been from women who complemented me on my taking care of my breasts. Day by day, there are more men becoming "busty" on account of what is in the food, water, clothes, air and medication. So for someone to have "assets' is not something unusual, bizzare or otherwise weird. It is slowly becoming the norm. Be well!

[Harmony74]

Thanks for the positive vibes. I’m trying to cope with things. It sort of has become a bit more normal getting dressed in the morning to put my bra on, they fit and it’s comfier. Otherwise you hear the skin flopping about. My dads home at the minute and as normal he doesn’t say much. Been wearing a t shirt then a thicker shirt not buttoned up.
My mum and sister have not said much apart from my mum asking if I was ok. I think when I’m at uni if I need more I can see about buying them in a different town.
The more difficult conversations have been with female friends. Asking questions and almost wanting to look. I’m meant to be staying with them in their holiday home in summer. Debra said her mum had been asking what I was going to wear round the pool on chill out days. So I need to tackle that. Next week I start this admin stuff working from home. Summer job so that should occupy me and I don’t need to hide it as much at home. T shirt and shorts

Sounds like you’re really adjusting well. For the swimwear, I have been considering https://www.beefcakeswimwear.com .

It certainly won’t be everyone’s style, but it is the best solution I have found for the modesty issue. It is styled as a non-binary swimsuit. While I don’t specifically identify as that, it seems to meet my needs. 

Sorry if this isn’t what you’re looking for. Just thought I would make the suggestion. 

[Conor W]

The beefcake swimwear is genius . Thanks. That may really work . Will see if I can order

[prc7966]

Has anybody tried these?  Curious as to how heavy they are, like if you sit out in the sun for any length or time are you going to overheat quickly.

[Harmony74]

The beefcake swimwear is genius . Thanks. That may really work . Will see if I can order

They are in stock now but have been sold out all summer. Order quickly!! 
I’m glad you liked the idea.