Does Your Girlfriend/Wife Like Your Gyne?

[siphon]

first off, you sound horribly depressing and really what girl/guy even wants to be around someone who isnt positive/fun? confidence is subjective, but knowing what you want and going after it is definitely attractive. females inherently want to be led (if you can find evidence to support the opposite i'm all ears). however, if you can not lead yourself out of the labyrinth of your mind, how are you going to lead anyone else?

gyno has been a big hindrance and an obstacle for me, but it hasnt stopped me from being sexually active in the slightest. like any obstacle that comes our way as intelligent humans, is it smarter to stare at it hoping it will go away? or should we do what we can to somehow get around, over, or under it? i dont mean to be harsh, but complaining never solved problems. work with what you have and improve every aspect of yourself that you can. you're financially stable? go get a personal trainer, go to yoga, or if you desire, get a life coach. improve, improve, improve. it takes time, but that nimble confidence you have now can be change to unwavering if you want it. the choice is yours.

and let go of the bitterness, thats a massive roadblock i see in the way of you meeting quality women. most people are fickle regardless of age, but try to get to a position emotionally/mentally where you are not affected by the fickle ones, where you stand your ground and they know what is acceptable or not in your world. to get from where you are to where you want to be is going to be a process, but there are plenty of people here who have gone through it already. our minds are very powerful..whatever you think about yourself in the end, you'll be right.

[covfefe]

So let me get this right, women are all fickle, but I have to see past the fickle ones? How exactly does that work?

Depressing, I suppose I am now, but that is only due to the constant rejection I have faced. I have coped with my condition for the past 15 years, and have now realised that no woman at our age wants anything to do with a bloke with breasts. So I could have the strongest mind in the world and still be in the same situation. How can I be expected to be positive about the prospect of being alone for the rest of my existence?
I do look in the mirror and think I'm a good person, then I look down and realise that it doesn't make an ounce of difference what is in my head as I don't get the chance to ever show that to people.

I'm glad for you guys that it hasn't stopped you living a sexually active lives, and forming families. All I could hope for is that I was born 30 years earlier than I actually was, when society was more accepting. I'm unaware of a way of doing that though.

I'm open to suggestions of where you can find women who like men with breasts, I really am, but I'm 99.9% positive that these places do not exist. Women will become friends with men with breasts, but would they ever consider being in a relationship with them, I quote what I've overheard when people have suggested me as a boyfriend: "ewww no hes got breasts".

[Chicago]

So let me get this right, women are all fickle, but I have to see past the fickle ones? How exactly does that work?

Depressing, I suppose I am now, but that is only due to the constant rejection I have faced. I have coped with my condition for the past 15 years, and have now realised that no woman at our age wants anything to do with a bloke with breasts. So I could have the strongest mind in the world and still be in the same situation. How can I be expected to be positive about the prospect of being alone for the rest of my existence?
I do look in the mirror and think I'm a good person, then I look down and realise that it doesn't make an ounce of difference what is in my head as I don't get the chance to ever show that to people.

I'm glad for you guys that it hasn't stopped you living a sexually active lives, and forming families. All I could hope for is that I was born 30 years earlier than I actually was, when society was more accepting. I'm unaware of a way of doing that though.

I'm open to suggestions of where you can find women who like men with breasts, I really am, but I'm 99.9% positive that these places do not exist. Women will become friends with men with breasts, but would they ever consider being in a relationship with them, I quote what I've overheard when people have suggested me as a boyfriend: "ewww no hes got breasts".

I'm 33 years old. I met my wife 8 years ago in Los Angeles, a place that I can guarantee you is 100% more superficial than any place in the UK. Oh, I also have a disability that affects the gait of my walk.

However, I went out on dates almost every weekend before meeting my wife.

So basically, about your age, your condition + another actual disability in a much more superficial and harsh environment.

Its not impossible or even improbable.

[covfefe]

Feels impossible to me, never been given time of day by any woman but one, and she cheated on and left me for an attractive guy - that was 10 years ago.
Since that point I've just been the spare wheel in every situation, making my way home on my own from another night out, while all my friends go home with their new acquaintances.

The modern world is a horrible place to be unless you are perfect, and I'm not and never will be.

I just have to take the attitude that I have no hope of ever having a meaningful relationship, and carry on working as many hours as possible to forget about the pain it causes me. It'll probably result me becoming another one of the early 30s suicide statistics, but hey, at least I've got 2 years and £120k dollars to spend before I do it.

[TigerPaws]

fackste,

You need some serious counseling. Suicide? For not getting what you want in life is your fault and you have no one to blame but yourself. Rich? Wealthy? Inheriting wealth? That seems to be your problem, you believe that others got where they are in life by having it handed it to them rather than by hard work.

Innovation, invention, along with damn hard work and a will to succeed is how a man gets ahead in life, not wining and complaining.

At your age I was dirt poor and face down in a rice paddy scared sh!tless that I was about to be shot. No one handed me (and I venture to say those who have been telling you the truth on this forum) anything. 41 years later I am finally enjoying the fruits of my hard work and sacrifices.

You say that those of us who are more experienced do not know and understand the "younger" generation? BullSh!t. Read a little history, every generation has said the very same thing no matter how far back you look.

If you want the finer things in life, then you have to work and sacrifice for them. Grow up and be a man, take control of your life if you want to make something of yourself.
   

[covfefe]

You're quite right, I worked hard to be born as the 1% of people who have this social unacceptable growth on my chest due to hormonal problems during puberty that I have no control over. How is that my fault?
Society, women, everyone just think we're all unhealthy and unfit and that we should get down the gym. Even though doing so would make my condition worse.

What I am basically saying, and you may think I'm repeating myself here is: The modern-day younger woman does NOT accept any compromise in physical appearance. You can be a horrid, abusive, unemployed, no-propects loser but still get loads of women just because you are attractive. If you are the opposite but unattractive you haven't got a hope in hell.
The older generations did not have this same social ethos. Yes you may have fought many more wars than us, and you have my utmost respect for having been through some of the most torrid experiences that this earth has seen. In some respects I believe social acceptance when it came to physical looks was far more forthcoming in these periods (unless we get into the history of racism).
There was also the aspect of the woman being the house-wife and the man being a the bread-winner which sometimes enforced marriage and stronger social values. Women now obviously have equal opportunities, and rightly so, but it has caused a fragmentation of society where women are significantly pickier in who they date. They are far more likely to pick and abusive, no hope, low wage man because they are attractive and can subsidise their existence with their wage. Something that is a relatively new concept to the human world.

Following on from this your comment to do with wealth; it is completely irrelevant to the this point, I have more than most in the UK, and earn more than twice the national average - but why would that matter to anyone if you're unattractive? Unless we're talking about having millions and millions of dollars or pounds, then its irrelevant. Wealth is more evenly distributed between men and women now then it ever has been.

Say what you like, if you were in my shoes, or any of the gentleman in this forum who are below 30 and blighted with this condition you would also feel that you WILL NOT, EVER get any sort of female interest if you have moobs. Its too embarrassing for a woman to consider being seen with a man with moobs at that age. The new media and social networking age has dictated an era of perfection, where every flaw, bruise or blemish is examined as if were part of the search for the Higgs-Boson. It leaves the modern man that doesn't adhere to this idealised perfection stranded. Facebook is used like its peoples own "Hello" or "OK" magazine front page, and if you were to say you were in a relationship or photo'd with someone ugly you'd end up socially chastised.

Unfortunately I don't get counseling as the NHS here in the UK doesn't seem to acknowledge gynecomastia as being something that can have a psychological effect on people.

I cannot change this, I have no way of changing this, and I cannot change my own appearance - so what hope do I have?
I'll leave this thread alone now, because its not helping me at all. We have obviously grown up in different times, with different levels of acceptance. I can accept myself, but noone else of my generation can - remember "ewww moobs".

[Alchemist]

You're quite right, I worked hard to be born as the 1% of people who have this social unacceptable growth on my chest due to hormonal problems during puberty that I have no control over. How is that my fault?
Society, women, everyone just think we're all unhealthy and unfit and that we should get down the gym. Even though doing so would make my condition worse.

What I am basically saying, and you may think I'm repeating myself here is: The modern-day younger woman does NOT accept any compromise in physical appearance. You can be a horrid, abusive, unemployed, no-propects loser but still get loads of women just because you are attractive. If you are the opposite but unattractive you haven't got a hope in hell.
The older generations did not have this same social ethos. Yes you may have fought many more wars than us, and you have my utmost respect for having been through some of the most torrid experiences that this earth has seen. In some respects I believe social acceptance when it came to physical looks was far more forthcoming in these periods (unless we get into the history of racism).
There was also the aspect of the woman being the house-wife and the man being a the bread-winner which sometimes enforced marriage and stronger social values. Women now obviously have equal opportunities, and rightly so, but it has caused a fragmentation of society where women are significantly pickier in who they date. They are far more likely to pick and abusive, no hope, low wage man because they are attractive and can subsidise their existence with their wage. Something that is a relatively new concept to the human world.

Following on from this your comment to do with wealth; it is completely irrelevant to the this point, I have more than most in the UK, and earn more than twice the national average - but why would that matter to anyone if you're unattractive? Unless we're talking about having millions and millions of dollars or pounds, then its irrelevant. Wealth is more evenly distributed between men and women now then it ever has been.

Say what you like, if you were in my shoes, or any of the gentleman in this forum who are below 30 and blighted with this condition you would also feel that you WILL NOT, EVER get any sort of female interest if you have moobs. Its too embarrassing for a woman to consider being seen with a man with moobs at that age. The new media and social networking age has dictated an era of perfection, where every flaw, bruise or blemish is examined as if were part of the search for the Higgs-Boson. It leaves the modern man that doesn't adhere to this idealised perfection stranded. Facebook is used like its peoples own "Hello" or "OK" magazine front page, and if you were to say you were in a relationship or photo'd with someone ugly you'd end up socially chastised.

Unfortunately I don't get counseling as the NHS here in the UK doesn't seem to acknowledge gynecomastia as being something that can have a psychological effect on people.

I cannot change this, I have no way of changing this, and I cannot change my own appearance - so what hope do I have?
I'll leave this thread alone now, because its not helping me at all. We have obviously grown up in different times, with different levels of acceptance. I can accept myself, but noone else of my generation can - remember "ewww moobs".

Hi Fackste.

My son is 28, has C-cups and has since puberty.  It runs in the family.  His father in law has breasts too.  He just had his second child.  He has never lacked a girlfriend since 15.  He grew up in  a household where big  breasts were normal and both older sisters had huge early breasts as that too runs in the family. 

I don't believe it is a UK matter either.  All of us old farts live in different countries or areas.

[Alchemist]

You're quite right, I worked hard to be born as the 1% of people who have this social unacceptable growth on my chest due to hormonal problems during puberty that I have no control over. How is that my fault?
Society, women, everyone just think we're all unhealthy and unfit and that we should get down the gym. Even though doing so would make my condition worse.

What I am basically saying, and you may think I'm repeating myself here is: The modern-day younger woman does NOT accept any compromise in physical appearance. You can be a horrid, abusive, unemployed, no-propects loser but still get loads of women just because you are attractive. If you are the opposite but unattractive you haven't got a hope in hell.
The older generations did not have this same social ethos. Yes you may have fought many more wars than us, and you have my utmost respect for having been through some of the most torrid experiences that this earth has seen. In some respects I believe social acceptance when it came to physical looks was far more forthcoming in these periods (unless we get into the history of racism).
There was also the aspect of the woman being the house-wife and the man being a the bread-winner which sometimes enforced marriage and stronger social values. Women now obviously have equal opportunities, and rightly so, but it has caused a fragmentation of society where women are significantly pickier in who they date. They are far more likely to pick and abusive, no hope, low wage man because they are attractive and can subsidise their existence with their wage. Something that is a relatively new concept to the human world.

Following on from this your comment to do with wealth; it is completely irrelevant to the this point, I have more than most in the UK, and earn more than twice the national average - but why would that matter to anyone if you're unattractive? Unless we're talking about having millions and millions of dollars or pounds, then its irrelevant. Wealth is more evenly distributed between men and women now then it ever has been.

Say what you like, if you were in my shoes, or any of the gentleman in this forum who are below 30 and blighted with this condition you would also feel that you WILL NOT, EVER get any sort of female interest if you have moobs. Its too embarrassing for a woman to consider being seen with a man with moobs at that age. The new media and social networking age has dictated an era of perfection, where every flaw, bruise or blemish is examined as if were part of the search for the Higgs-Boson. It leaves the modern man that doesn't adhere to this idealised perfection stranded. Facebook is used like its peoples own "Hello" or "OK" magazine front page, and if you were to say you were in a relationship or photo'd with someone ugly you'd end up socially chastised.

Unfortunately I don't get counseling as the NHS here in the UK doesn't seem to acknowledge gynecomastia as being something that can have a psychological effect on people.

I cannot change this, I have no way of changing this, and I cannot change my own appearance - so what hope do I have?
I'll leave this thread alone now, because its not helping me at all. We have obviously grown up in different times, with different levels of acceptance. I can accept myself, but noone else of my generation can - remember "ewww moobs".

Hi Fackste,

For starters, some bad statistics.  More like a quarter of boys have gyne onset during puberty.  Most have very little.  A few of us are as big or bigger than the girls.  So guys want to say "mines bigger than yours" and not mean their breasts.  My 28 year old son has c-cups and has since puberty.  His father in law also has breasts.  He grew up in household were my wife had the smallest breasts and both daughters had huge early ones and so do the boys. 

All of us old farts come from different areas and meet culturally different women.  So what have you got sticking out of your chest that they are so apparent, HH? cup breasts?  Seriously, a pair of DDs is no big deal.  So what is to stop you from going to a UK naturist camp and meeting some nice ladies of all ages.  I know some ladies who who would take it as a challenge to get you fixed up with a nice girl. 

As far as inherited money goes you must be dreaming.  My family had a 16 foot sailboat on a trailer behind an old Rambler American, an economy car, 90 hp 6 cyl that could barley pull a 400 pound sailboat.  My grandmother had a "cottage" in Maine.  I've been semi disabled for 30 years with health problems and broke the whole time.  I skied in my youth and made money at it.  I learned to ski at a local ski area in Ohio that had 256 feet of vertical drop on the edge of a river valley.  I started working summer jobs at 14 to be able to afford my toys like skies, cameras, and girls.  I was given a used junk enlarger I repaired and made myself a darkroom. 

I had to work to overcome every thing that kept me from doing whatever it was I wanted to do.  There was no "life on a platter" here.  I started my own software company at 32.  I was an early computer geek and hung around with girls of the species.  I also have a good tenor voice and sang in high school and college, and was in the theater.  I was a song and dance guy in the chorus of various musicals.  I also hung around with the theater and arts group.  Both the science geek girls and the arts girls were great and often the same ones.  The girl I married was a chemistry major and also was concert master in the school orchestra and was in the plays when she skipped playing in the orchestra for the stage music.

So as important as my own self acceptance is who I choose to get to know makes all the difference.  These days I wouldn't work too hard at finding a woman if I for some reason partner were to die or something.  I'm sure it would happen quickly.  I genuinely like women.  They have always treated me so much better than the guys.  I would just start going to some of the local Goddess ceremonies and get involved as a priest in the sponsoring group.  I would likely find some likely women in such a group, or a yoga group or a nudist/naturist group.  Perhaps I would start teaching tantric alchemy again and thereby find a new partner.  I can't ski any more, I don't have a sailboat and by voice isn't what it used to be.  And I never had the good looks.  I am merely ordinary, and slowly balding.  DD breasts mean nothing at all in this equation except that I look for intelligent creative spiritual women in the first place.

Changing ourselves is what the practice of alchemy is all about.  You can change yourself but you would need to be willing to and want to overcome your fears.  Good luck.  You really can do it.  I learned early that the best way to have a lady for a friend is to be a friend and genuinely like them and be willing to adore them, and I do mean in a spiritual fashion, as the channel to the divine feminine.  Try to have fun.  It will work out better.  Good luck.  Some improved nutrition could help your mood quite possibly.

[youcanrace@yahoo.com]

As a long time member of several yahoo groups with members numbering in the thousands, I find that not only do many women friends and wives not only enjoy their mates having breasts also but often initiate or encourage their men to grow breasts as my wife did, she felt that it was one more thing we could share. We being somewhat the same size went shopping together and shared clothes that when appropriate for me--I'm not a transvestite, have facial hair etc.
Possibly because I only have 36-A's I've NEVER had a comment about my slightly visible breasts, I sometimes notice wondering eyes though--So??

[Alchemist]

As a long time member of several yahoo groups with members numbering in the thousands, I find that not only do many women friends and wives not only enjoy their mates having breasts also but often initiate or encourage their men to grow breasts as my wife did, she felt that it was one more thing we could share. We being somewhat the same size went shopping together and shared clothes that when appropriate for me--I'm not a transvestite, have facial hair etc.
Possibly because I only have 36-A's I've NEVER had a comment about my slightly visible breasts, I sometimes notice wondering eyes though--So??

Hi Youcanrace,

I had no idea that there were such groups around men's breasts.  What I  did notice during 7 weeks At a nudist club this year was that more men than even are sporting larger breasts this year.  It was quite noticeable.  Also lot's of guys losing their hair and who knows about prostate treatment as you can't see that.  Also, the smooth male chest, whether shaved or waxed or whatever was very "in" this year, regardless of breasts.  I have never seen a grooming trend move so fast.

That "same size" remark makes me laugh.  There is NOBODY else my size of any gender.  It makes clothing difficult.  The length of my torso and arms is the same as that of my 6-8 to 6-9 friends but with a larger chest and 8 inch shorter legs. Then a set of D cup breasts at current weight.  The more weight I loose the more outstanding they are.  My long time wife also had clothing fit problems because of how she was built.  She has had high on the chest teen-aged breasts her whole life and she just can't get by looking like a high school girl in clothing styles any more.

Also this summer for the first time I have seen men with their shirts off with gynecomastia on hot days.  That was a first.  Also, as I was in sight shirtless in my garden they waved.   Very different. 

Have fun.

[TomR1934]

Yours are probably very attractive to her, so just go ahead and be a friend and make friends and flirt as people do and see where it goes, as we are all unique and attractive to someone.

[Aparr]

It took a lot for me to tell my girlfriend, but she doesn't mind at all.. She said it wasn't a big deal

[bharat]

I'm in relation with my girl more than 4 years now. However, I haven't removed my tshirt yet infront of her... I guess she has a slightest idea of my chest being comparatively loose because of the type of shirts/tshirts I prefer. However, she haven't pointed tat anytime..

I would be getting married to her by mid of 2013 and just thinking of me getting shirtless infront of her is making me embarrassed and loosing my confidence. Would be going for a surgery soon thought haven't informed her.. But i would tell her post that...

[gotgyne]

You are in a relationship with your girlfriend for more than four years and haven't removed your t-shirt yet? If she really loves you it shall not bother her! And moreover I think that she already knows about it or at least senses your problem but doesn't speak about it since she fears that it might hurt you.

John

[bharat]

Hey, just the other day I told my gf about my gynecomastia and as expected she had an idea about it but never wanted to discuss it upfront. She's just worried about the whole operation thingy as she's not aware of these things..