What should I do?

[Wanted]

I've had gyne for almost 3 years now. I can't get surgery because it is too expensive without insurance so it won't be going away. I've hidden from fun things and a lot of things I did before I had this and now I can't stand it anymore. After thinking about how "You make yourself happy" and "Do what you want to do" I'm starting to think really I'm just making myself sad and that it isn't really the gynes fault. I want to go to the pool. I want to go to the beach. I have people that are close friends who don't care (and I consider that very lucky)but I don't want people staring at me from across the pool and obviously I won't have a very good first impression on people... I don't know what to do. Barely anyone knows too. Should I just "suck it up" or should I just wait....

[TigerPaws]

Wanted, no one can make you feel embarrassed or bad about yourself unless you allow them to. Should someone make a derogatory comment tell them that that their comments are unwanted, unnecessary and hurtful. This will normally put most people in their place and they will either apologize or go away, in either case you win.

 

[Paa_Paw]

Wanted, I will soon celebrate my 75th. birthday. I cannot remember not having breasts. They have not changed in many years and would fill a B cup bra. The surgery to reduce their size ws very crude years ago so nothing was done.

Over the years I realized that the problem was not the breasts, but my attitude about them that prevented me from having a good time.

What you have between your ears is more important than what might be on your chest. 

[Bman41]

Yup, people don't really notice as much as we think they do.  And even if they do, it is so unlikely them saying anything is incredibly remote.  And if they do, you just ask them if they are into that sorta thing, they will go away tail tucked.  

I have got to a point where I need to wear something (bra), a compression top isn't enough and it is hot, a reg bra is much much cooler and more comfortable.  No one notices at work, I work in a small company (13 people) and no one notices or cares.  

Basically live your life as your life, not how you think people want you to live it.  It is your life, not theirs. 

[Paa_Paw]

On the rare occasion that someone may sound off, my best response is a question: "And why would you have any interest in the breasts or sexuality of another man?" It usually leaves them agape and gasping. I've never had a comment from a woman, so I'm not prepared for that event.

[TomR1934]

Yours are probably very attractive, so just go ahead and make friends and flirt and see where it goes, as we are all unique and attractive to someone.

Probably best at beach or pool where there's lots of people moving about and therefore less staring.

[expedient-traveller]

People really do not notice much because they are more concerned with their own existence or the existence of those that are of importance to them. My "assets" are not mountains that some of the fellows dealing with this situation are dealing with but the "assets" need support and some of their support places them in a noticeable way. But as my mom said when I told her about a "friend" who has breasts, people will think they have an athletic chest, or their pecs are well developed. I have seen some weightlifters who have a need for breast support and no one notices them. Make your "assets" comfortable, since unless you cut them off, you will have them for a goodly while.

[steven618]

I had the same fears when my breasts began to grow, I am only a full a cup, which saying that now seems not so bad though when they first grew thinking of that scared the mess out of me, now at 31 and still growing i'm to a point where im like whatever...who cares...though with the concern of not wanting people from across the pool or beach to see you and stare a surgeon actually told me....do you know those poeple who would stare...no...do you know those at the pool....no...do they know you...maybe, but probably not and if they do they either don't matter or don't mind and the only thing i'd suggest is to take what the surgeon then told me and don't mind those who don't matter. We live in a world where everyone has insecurities and we like to focus on others insecurities by mocking, pointing, gossiping etc to take our minds and others attentions off our own. My shirts are beginning to not fit across my chest well, getting tighter each week it seems...My shirts are also beginning to hang out from the waist vs laying flat against my abdomen. Being 5 11 and 170lbs and fairly muscular i'm sure people see me and think pecs, but as the curves get more defined and the chest causes that inevitable crease shouting to the world boobs not pecs i have just begun to thank the Lord for those in my life who don't care and if they did would have respect and are just good people. I assume you have good people in yoru circle as well and just trust in them to not care, cause our cares often will worry us to death, life is meant to be enjoyed, however this world is full of people who enjoy making others feel like crap...if i were you i would show off what you have, don't let it be an insecurity, let it be a security kn regards to being proud of what you have cause when you have courage within an insecurity that insecurity can no longer conquer you

[jdb]

I was out shopping with the wife the other day when I saw a sixties something skinny man out shopping with his wife.  Nothing unusual there but what struck me profoundly was his gyne.  He was wearing a thin t shirt that left nothing to the imagination. He had a well formed pair of perky breasts and nipples that made tents of his shirt that would not have looked out of place on any well built 30 something woman and he just did not appear to care that it was so obvious. He was not hunched over but walking upright and his breast swung as as he moved.   He may not have been as big as me (I am a 38 DD or E) but I was careful to hide mine with a loose button down shirt and a compression bra to smooth things out but his showed and as far as I could tell, no one else was looking shocked.  The point I am trying to make here is that the fear of being spotted is only in us, if you truly do not care then having beasts does not affect your life at all.  Wear what you want, go where you want.  It is all in the mind and I envied his attitude.

[aboywithgirls]

I know what you mean. He seams to be perfectly and truly accepting of having breasts. 
When I was younger, in my teens and early 20s, I was having a hard time accepting my own breasts. I was a C cup then. I had decided to go for a professional bra fitting and the fitter, even then was happy to help me. Turns out that I was actually a 38D. She could tell that I was disappointed and I told her that don't want to be a D cup! She said "unless any of us have surgery, we don't get to choose our cup size". I did not want surgery, so my only choice was acceptance. I realized that women aren't always happy with their bra size and they deal with it. I could too.
I'm in a 36H or G cup (US) now , depending on the maker. It also means shopping at specialty boutiques which have a good selection in my size. I have to wear a bra for everyday activities and a sports bra for work outs.
I've found that acceptance from others, begins with acceptance of myself. 

[expedient-traveller]

The fear we have of others discovering that we have boobs is something all of us have had to come to terms dealing with. As others here on this forum, I have been growing over the years and have currently arrived at a 46 D, and at this size my "assets" are almost impossible to hide. I have come to the point where I have noticed that others are not noticing me. As an example, for the last few days I have been wearing a push-up underwire bra from Bali that is very comfortable and does uplift my assets. Guess what...no one paid me any attention at work or when I went to Home Depot.
Nonetheless, my greatest fear has been my mom finding out. I am 64 and she is 97 but I compressed myself and squashed myself any time I was over to her house so she would not know I had boobs. By the way, she is still sharp as a tack, still drives with no problem, looks like she is in her late 70's and can carry on an intelligent conversation in politics and astrophysics. Regardless of this I was afraid she would find out and I did not know what her reaction would be. About a month ago I was at her home and was as compressed as I could be but was still sticking out and she noticed which lead into a discussion of my breasts and how long I had them  and how big I am. She did not bat an eye and took it all in with no trouble. She offered some advice and I explained why I am so big as well as why I did not tell her. That lead to a big kiss from her and that I should not worry since these things happen.
That blew my mind! Now, when I stop by to cut her lawn on my day off, I hide nothing. I wear a comfortable but close fitting tee-shirt with a nice push-up underwire bra which hides nothing but is so very comfortable and she is fine. The point is: do not sweat it! The majority of people do not notice your boobs and never seem to put 2 and 2 together relative to you having "assets" or a bra. Be at peace and live without fear. Zei gezundt (be well)!

[Busty]

Buy yourself some nice bras and wear them proudly.  Think of all the women who wish they had a nice rack like you

[expedient-traveller]

Busty has brought up an interesting point. Not all women have a nice set of "assets". I cannot tell you the number of times I have gotten a: "Wish I had his boobs," look from women. I have also had some very sincere complements from some women. As a good example, I had to go to my bank and there was a new teller there. She was not well endowed and gave me such a look of envy that it could not be missed. At that time I was a very well proportioned 46D (46DD now). She was looking straight at my boobs and there was no mistaking her look. I actually felt sorry for her. After I left the bank I thought about what just happened and took some pride in my "assets".
The point of all of this is most people do not notice your breasts! I can count on one hand the number of times a guy has looked at my boobs and I would still have fingers left over. Us guys do not expect to see a rack on a guy so we do not see it even when it is there. If you still have the uncomfortable feelings about your assets, wear button down shirts that have pockets over the breasts, since this breaks up the outline of your boobs. Put something in the pockets and you are home free. I wear this type of shirt most of the time and it hides me very well. Although, I do like to wear a tee shirt when working on my classic Jag (working on it for 9 years as of August and almost there), but a tee shirt hides nothing and actually magnifies what I have...46DD do stick out a bit. But even with twin mountains trying to "bust" out of my shirt...no one pays any attention. Be at peace because things are better than you think. Zei gezundt (Be well).

[aboywithgirls]

I agree with expedient traveler and had the same reaction from women. There's no hiding for me (36H). Men don't look or notice. Women do look. I'm ok with that. I understand because I check out women's chests as well. I never asked for boobs but, I have them and I have to take.care of them. I wear bras and get mammograms.  I don't have chest hair. I grew boobs instead of hair.

I know that I have a feminine chest. For me, having boobs and wearing a bra fulltime is not the worst thing in the world. Half of the world wakes up and puts on a bra and goes about their day. A few of us happen to be men. When I get fitted for a bra, I'm surrounded by women in a booth on either side and one helping me. But it's no big deal. We are all there for the same reason and that's the bottom line.

I posted a pic of my chest in a bra. There's no hiding for me. It just is what it is.

[walt]

to a boy with girls, you have a great pair of breasts, I do wish mine were that perky I got a pair of saggers. be well.