people are funny

[robos111]

I'm 6 feet; 191 pbs now; 22 % body fat. about 10 months ago, I was 238 pds, 37% body fat. I meet with group of people weekly who new me when I was heavier. I walked in yesterday and a few people were commenting to me that I looked skinny and that I must have lost weight? They also said that I should eat, what's wrong with me? I told them that I had been excercising and dieting. I could hear them talking about me later behind my back and laughing re. my weight loss. Then someone walked past me when I was in a group and yelled out, "eat a sandwhich for God's sake!"
I had to wonder what is wrong with people? They make fun of you when you are fat ; then they make fun of you when you lose weight.
For all they new I could have lost the weight because I was sick? Bye the way, the guy who yelled that out is overweight and probably unhappy with himself.
Anyway, my chest has gotten a little smaller since dieting, but still not where I would like it to be. They have no idea about my struggles with my chest and just decided they did not like the skinnier version of me. This makes me want to work out harder. Not run and eat a pizza.
I want to get down to at least 15 % body fat and see if it finally has an effect of my chest?
Just wanted to mention this little story because people will always be critical with us. It's human nature. We have to decide what is right for us and ignore the world.
Take care

[DrBermant]

I'm 6 feet; 191 pbs now; 22 % body fat. about 10 months ago, I was 238 pds, 37% body fat. I meet with group of people weekly who new me when I was heavier. I walked in yesterday and a few people were commenting to me that I looked skinny and that I must have lost weight? They also said that I should eat, what's wrong with me? I told them that I had been excercising and dieting. I could hear them talking about me later behind my back and laughing re. my weight loss. Then someone walked past me when I was in a group and yelled out, "eat a sandwhich for God's sake!"
I had to wonder what is wrong with people? They make fun of you when you are fat ; then they make fun of you when you lose weight.
For all they new I could have lost the weight because I was sick? Bye the way, the guy who yelled that out is overweight and probably unhappy with himself.
Anyway, my chest has gotten a little smaller since dieting, but still not where I would like it to be. They have no idea about my struggles with my chest and just decided they did not like the skinnier version of me. This makes me want to work out harder. Not run and eat a pizza.
I want to get down to at least 15 % body fat and see if it finally has an effect of my chest?
Just wanted to mention this little story because people will always be critical with us. It's human nature. We have to decide what is right for us and ignore the world.
Take care

People can be cruel. There can be a great deal of Emotion Living with Gynecomastia.

Congratulations on your weight loss 48 pounds and that decrease of body fat means you have been making major changes. Remaining contour problems after weight loss consist of skin, gland, and fat. Losing weight can help with the fat, but the gland and sagging skin can remain factors.

Posting Standard Pictures for Men After Weight Loss to Evaluate Drooping can help others better understand your concerns and demonstrate if loose hanging tissues are a component of the problem.

Skin can take from 6 to 18 months to shrink after massive weight loss. Being patient often is better than rushing into surgery too soon, losing more weight, and then having more loose skin or contour issues.

No Surgery Body Shaping Garments offer a temporary contour solution that many of my patients have used while continuing to lose weight or waiting until the skin catches up.

Hope this helps,

Michael Bermant, MD
Learn More About Male Mastopexy Chest Lift for Sagging Tissues

[bpzey]

I'm right there with you.  I weighed 228 and am now down to 195, this has been since September.  Stay positive and focused and you will get to where you want to be.  The critics are just haters, let them be.  Don't retaliate, just hit the gym or the track and stay focused.  The only opinion that should matter to you about you should be your own.  You are the only person that can change you.  Good luck on your journey.  Its not a diet, its a lifestyle.

[TheOregonKid]

I know this is a necro-thread but I thought I'd weigh in.

People's perception of what a healthy weight is has increased as America's percentage of overweight and obese individuals has skyrocketed.  The CDC website says that 68% of Americans 20 and older are overweight or obese!  This means that being overweight is now statistically normal, which is why being at a healthy weight is considered 'skinny.'  Whats more, statistics have shown that people who are overweight usually classify their weight as normal while obese individuals believe they are overweight but not obese.  This goes a long way in explaining their reaction to your weight loss.

Another thing to consider is that people often feel threatened by others' weight loss.  This is why they may try to sabatage you by convincing you to eat unhealthy foods or deride you for being 'too skinny.'  My Mom is a teacher who just lost about 50 lbs.  Throughout her diet, the other teachers were always offering her cupcakes and junk food.  They had never done this in the past.  What's more, when she came within 20 lbs of her goal weight, they would make comments like "you aren't going to lose anymore weight are you?" 

The people mocking you are just jealous.  Their shallow opinions don't matter.  What DOES matter is your health and self-image.  Pay no heed to the haters, player: you owe it to yourself to be happy and healthy.  I just ran your weight through a basic ideal weight calculator.  It says that if you have an average frame size then your ideal weight is 178-195 lbs.  So you are all good, dude.

[dannyboy740]

I agree with theoregan kid...read an article called toxic people on www.t-nation.com- people do try to sabotage things like being healthy, weight loss,etc
Sounds like you need to start looking for new friends?

[Paa_Paw]

I would agree that it is possibly time to start looking for new friends.

Thinking about it, were they truly your friends? Or were they just a bunch of associates who felt better about themselves when compared with the "old" you.

Find some friends who want to build you up and ignore those people who put you down. The latter are not your friends.

[burntoast]

How are you 6' @ 191 lbs, but 22% body fat? I'm 6'1" @ 231 and 18% body fat. You might want to get retested.. not that it actually matters anyway

I can't comprehend how one single person could make fun of another for losing weight.. but I can certainly understand how a group of people (who probably have their own insecurities, problems, etc) would turn someone's triumph over fat into an in-joke in an effort to justify their shitty existence... It sucks, but it's just how people work.

To put it simply and bluntly, people are stupid.. most of them only focus on what makes them feel better about themselves. Also, humor is a pretty default and easy way for dealing with something you're unfamiliar or uncomfortable with... ever laugh when you're asking someone for directions, or after being scared, or that nervous laughter when you're speaking with that hot women in the office? Yeah, that. Same thing goes with your situation.

I think you need some new friends, bro

[Fatboyslim]

I am also in the same boat, having lost a considerable amount of weight in a relatively short period of time (100+ pounds in 10 months). I created a website and posted updated pictures with my weight every month and in the beginning my friends were extremely supportive.

That said, as I got "skinnier" some friends started expressing concern and told me to stop losing weight, which is something I never thought I would ever hear! lol

After thinking about it, I came to the conclusion that some people just expected me to be "stocky" (I was over 250 for ~20 years, going over 300 for the last 5 years) and didn't know how to handle the change because they had always known me that way. Even my wife had never seen me below 245 which was the weight I was able to get to when we got married. I also think that there was genuine concern for my well being and worried I was overdoing it. I was training for a marathon and was being monitored by a doctor but that didn't seem to satisfy some of them which kind of surprised me. Fortunately they are now used to the new me and think of me in the present tense/size.   

Jealously did come into it in at least one case though. One of my friends was also overweight, albeit not as obese as I was. Over a period of ~3 months I noticed that he hadn't replied to my emails or messages I had left which I thought was kind of strange. Mutual friends told me that he was upset that I was able to do what he couldn't and I think my weight loss was a reminder that he had failed in his attempts to lose weight. I honestly believe that he would be happy if I put the weight back on. Sadly, I can empathize with him as I also had a friend of a friend who lost quite a bit of weight and I remember being very jealous of his success.

The final comment about losing weight really baffled me as it came from my father about a year ago. Long story short, we got into a really small "argument" about nothing significant and out of the blue he said "I think I like the fat Roger better" which really shocked me, especially since he is a doctor and always wanted me to lose weight. Very strange but he is also overweight and is getting old (83) so maybe that was the root of it.

The bottom line is that the compliments and benefits have overwhelmingly outweighed (no pun intended!) the detractions so keep at it. 

[Blan]

Hi robos111,
Losing 47 pbs in 3 months is a great achievement, you need celebration
Remember you can't praise people and cannot make everyone satisfied.
Stick with your goals as you are doing great job.

[Mark102]

I know how you feel! I lost about 20 pounds and people who hadn't seen me in a long time called me skinny and told me to stop losing weight. But I knew that I wasn't happy with my body. I mean, my face got skinnier and my neck got longer ...but my chest and stomach hadn't changed much, since they're usually the last places fat come off. My body was so disproportionate, and I'm still working on losing fat in those areas.

Lose weight for YOU, other people are just not used to seeing you so skinny, they're just in shock.

Good luck!

[DrBermant]

I know how you feel! I lost about 20 pounds and people who hadn't seen me in a long time called me skinny and told me to stop losing weight. But I knew that I wasn't happy with my body. I mean, my face got skinnier and my neck got longer ...but my chest and stomach hadn't changed much, since they're usually the last places fat come off. My body was so disproportionate, and I'm still working on losing fat in those areas.

Lose weight for YOU, other people are just not used to seeing you so skinny, they're just in shock.

Good luck!

It can take some time to get those last regions off. However, after that there is the time it takes for the loose skin to catch up. In massive weight loss studies, that can take from 6 to 18 months before finishing. That is why I developed my demonstration of the body shaping garments to show a body contouring alternative for those still a "work in progress," so they can have less emotional pressure to rush into something before they had finished the work. Especially when loose skin is a factor, you do not want to tighten something, lose more weight and watch it get loose and sag again.

Hope this helps,

Michael Bermant, M.D.

[Mark102]

Thanks, Dr Bermant

[DrBermant]

Thanks, Dr Bermant

You are quite welcome!