First Time poster

[BL383]

Well this is the first time i have ever even talked about my Gyno with anybody.

I am 21 years old and have lived with gyno for a while now, i was hoping it would go away but afer a year ago i came to the realization that it isn't.

The problem that i have is that i have never even spoke about it with my parents. I am not going to be paying for this operation seeing as i do ot have the money for it. I know my oparents would be willing to to pay forit giving the fact that it has caused me so much stress over the years but i just cannot build up the balls to just start talking to them about it.

So im hear to ask some of you guys how you brought up the topic, any advice would be greatly appriciated.

[usernameX]

This isnt the first time ive heard of this. And to me, it really never makes sense to this day.

And the question is, how could you possibly be ashamed to bring up this issue. YOu are there son for God sakes. They are your parents, they are there to take care of you any way they can. Whether it be putting food on the table, clothes on your back, a roof over your head, spending money to go out, or chipping in for this surgery, they SHOULD be there for you and I doubt they wouldnt be.

Cmon man, I know at the age of 21 you arent exactly close to your parents anymore, and im only 17 and I began drifting from my parents at the age of 14, but they have always been there for me and I know yours are too.

Dude if simply bringing this up to your parents is your ONLY problem, take advantage of that PLEASE. Alot of us still are saving up for the surgery because we dont even have a fraction of the cost of the surgery.

You dont have the balls? Work them up man. Find a way! Being titless is good living, I promise you

[BL383]

Like i said i have never talked to anyone about this, im sorry it might be a little easy for you since you have gone through it and everything but since you are the first person to reply to my post you are the very first person i have ever talked to about this.

The problem is that i am ashamed about this, i know i just need to grow the balls and do it thats why im posting here because i decided that i am going to talk to them i just dont know how to bring it up.

[usernameX]

Dude, were all in the same boat or have been in your situation. I know at first its like...holy shit?! People talk about this openly? But you get use to it and you know what, its an awesome feeling knowing your not alone. And you ARENT alone at all. We all know the stress of having this sick condition. Believe me. Ive been around now for almost a year / year and a half or so. Maybe more im not counting. Point is, we've all typed up our sob stories about things. We need to end the sad bullshit and be happy.

I know I may sound rude the way things came out but I dont mean it that way. Just talk to your parents. They wouldnt judge you. And the faster you get this dealt with the faster you can begin have a normal life:)

[BL383]

Ok, first thing is im not trying to make it sound like woes me, all im asking for is a little advise. should i try to explain what it is then ask for the operation... i dont even know how to start the conversation.

I came here for some advice, and the best thing these forums could give me is suck it up, just talk to them.

If you want to help me then how about you tell me how you brought it up to your parents? that would be a start.

[usernameX]

Sorry man I didnt mean to sound mean. Ok...

In my situation...my mother and father were WELL aware that it bothered me. My brother would always make jokes about it front of my parents and all I would do is get embarased so I guess its different. But this was around the age of 13-14. At the age of 16 I discovered this site (thank god). It was a pain in the ass to get my mother to understand that this was infact a condition that WASNT going away. Even after that I needed to show her on the internet so you may have to do the same. People always say "it will go away" but it never does. At 21, your done growing, or just about, your chest isnt gonna get any bigger or smaller. Gland wise.

To be honest with you, I dont know exactly what advice you would like to hear from me or the board. We couldnt exactly walk you through step by step. And again, they are your parents. Dont be nervous to brng it up. And if you feel it is a serious case, then im quite sure your parents would have noticed you have a larger than normal size chest. They probably wouldnt be suprised if you came forward and said you wnated something done about it.

[usernameX]

EDIT: Yes, you absolutly should start off with that.

First start off with something like " Mom, are you familiar with gynecomastia?" And if shes a normal oblivious mother she will say "no" and ask what it is. From there on explain that it is a chest condition that enlarges your chest and your concerned you have it(you know you do) And you just realized recently that there is a medical name for this condition. Its not just fat nor can it be worked off. Incase she doesnt believe you or says you dont need it, ask her that you would like to plan a consultation with a surgeon to confirm that she is right and you are wrong. If you really do have it, the surgeon will confirm it and she can have your surgeons word on it.

From there on, tell her it bothers you greatly and you would like to deal with it anyway you can.

Dude I dont know what more to say. Like I said I cant walk you through EVERYTHING but those are just some things you might wanna bring up. Im sorry I cant help you more man. MAybe someone else can help you out in this situation.

Im not a mean person lol

Good luck bro

[headheldhigh01]

this is what i suggested once before if i tried to picture myself telling parents years ago the way i wish i had if i'd known what this was.  

"mom, dad, i've had something on my mind i wanted to discuss.  this is a little embarassing for me to talk about, but it's something i have to deal with.  

i've noticed i've had a physical condition, so i did a little research on it.  the technical name for it is gynecomastia, and it happens a lot in puberty, in fact most men get it in at least some degree temporarily.  in most cases it goes away in the first 2-3 years, but in others it can stick around.  

apparently if your hormone ratios go a little odd, guys can develop enlargement in the breast area.  normally it makes people's lives hell because they get teased about it pretty mercilessly, they get depressed and don't talk about it, -- but there are surgical procedures that can correct it too.   the price range runs anywhere from $3-6000 depending on surgeon, location, complexity of the case, and so on.  

i'm still researching this and talking to a bunch of people i've discovered online who've suffered from the same condition, but i'm learning a lot.  a lot of surgeons won't operate till the hormones restabilize a little, but i should be ready, and some people try to minimize it and say oh it's nothing, but it can really mess things up, and i'd like to explore getting it fixed and having a normal life."  

(optional if finances become an issue):  i understand it's a lot of money, so i just want to mention again this one's really important to me, so if i have to take a job or two to help pull my weight on this one and start saving, i just want you to know that that's how much this means to me.  

adjust to fit your circumstances as needed  

[Paa_Paw]

The answers above pretty much cover the issue so I'll adopt a slightly different approach.

Do you truly think that your parents are so dumb and lacking in powers of observation that they do not already know of your condition?

My guess is that they already know all about it but are afraid to say anything because they do not wish to cause you any grief.

This means that YOU are the only person who can open the discussion about it. They have probably been waiting for you to say something for a very long time.

I never saw an adult male member of my family without a shirt on.  The condition runs in my family. For all you know, that could be true in your family as well.

I think you'll find a lot more compassion than you seem to expect.

[Grandpa Bambu]

I think you'll find a lot more compassion than you seem to expect.

Ditto...

John.

[Mr_Nip]

Just do it.  You can stand in front of the mirror practicing for days, but when you finally bring it up it will be different anyway.   If you have a difficult time explaining what gyne really is, then ask them to watch this video with you:

http://individual.utoronto.ca/charlesh/documentary/gyn128k.html