Gynecomastia. A damn annoying word on my self-confidence.
I've been seeing a girl, which truly takes my heart. We have a lot of fun at cafeteria, we listen same music, we both know our true emotions of ourselfs. We both aren't superficial. But I still get sense of that gynecomastia is truly a problem. Since I've been meeting this girl, hate of myself has grown more and more. Every morning I wake up and go to the bathroom, the first thing which I notice on a mirror isn't my face. It's my boobs.
Since gynecomastia hasn't come as surprise. I've had even more embarrassing moments than now. As for example we had to play in high school soccer game without t-shirts, because our 'little perv' referee wanted to recognize team players. Guess in which team I was?
30 class mates and my naked male boobs. Afterwards it didn't feel that 'bad'. But I wouldn't do it again. Surely this isn't the only issue which I've been. Some bullies even wanted to know how my boobs felt, so they grabbed my boobs during the break in the school. I thought I would never become anything.
But now when I've had found true person which I really like, everything feels really hard. I mean really hard! I'm afraid that I'm going to lose this one of a kind person because of my gynecomastia. This person isn't superficial, I know she would accept me as I am.
But why the hell my mind says it's not okay?
So you're probably saying that operation is a only chance to get through with this. Yes it is probably the only way and I'm on waiting list, but sadly waiting time is nearly a half year. I've been on a waiting line for three months. How the hell I'm going to go through with this frustrating issue. The longer I go, more harder this goes. Why there can't be a phone call from hospital that I could go tomorrow on surgery??
I don't just know what to do. This gynecomastia disease is going through all of my body. Next week I probably hate my face look.
I know this sounds self patethic hatred, but I just don't know what to do.