How to tell parents about gyno/surgery

[weareqpr]

So I'm a 18 year old male still living with my parents. I've had gyno since I was around 13 and my parents have known about it. I'm extremely embarrassed about it outdoors, but at home I generally walk around shirtless/wearing a light singlet so they definitely know about my moobs. Recently I've considered going to my GP or a plastic surgeon to talk about surgery, but since I can't pay for it, need to tell my parents. I'm embarrassed to talk about it and was wondering if anyone had tips on how to bring up the topic.

Cheers

[xelnaga13]

If I were in your shoes I would visit a surgeon prior to sitting your parents down. This way you have a diagnosis, surgical plan, and an idea of cost.

After you have all the facts sit your parents down and explain in detail the emotional effects your gyno has on you. Understand that everyone has body features they dislike but accept, so you need to explain why this is different, and how surgery will improve your life long term.

Understand the plastic surgery is expensive and your parents may not be in the position to spend that kind of money. You are 18 and more than capable of paying for your own surgery.

[rhyno18]

I'll share my perspective as someone both as someone who's had the condition (had surgery last month) and also as a father of a teenager and preteen.

I understand where you are coming from.  I had the condition since middle school and was always very self conscious of it.  I understand that it's not a comfortable topic to talk about, even with your parents.

But looking at it through the lens of a parent, my chidren's happiness is extremely important.  I would hate the idea of my child suffering and not feeling comfortable talking to me about it - whether it was a physical condition, a social issue or anything else.

They probably realize you have the condition, but may not understand how much it impacts you.   I recommend you sit down and talk to them about it, even though it's uncomfortable.

But you also have to be realistic.  Plastic surgery is very expensive.  If it's something they can help you pay for great, but if they can't - you'll have to accept their compassion and understanding as all they can do.

25 years ago I had no clue gynecomastia was even a medical term.  I just knew I hated my chest and spent many years hiding it.  Even if I had told my parents, they didn't have the means to be able to pay for it.

But the nurse at my PS's office said it's a very common procedure for 17-24 y/o guys to get these days.

[tpuk]

My advice is deffo tell them as soon as possible - but have some plans.

You need to prepare (write down) some stuff about how this is affecting your self-confidence. I would see a the best PS you can if possible, some will take a look at emailed photos.

If your parents have seen you have moobs it will be easier to now explain that its really getting to you.

Be very careful about what you expect of a GP visit..... what do you expect?

As a strategy for telling them, prepare a treat for yourself, whether you like computer games, some nice food or a few cans of lager....whatever - but something really good...as your reward (thats what I do). You may want to tell just one of them so you dont have an 'audience' - it depends really,.

Just say it. You only need to say it once to start doing something about it.

Locking up serious emotional distress is a very bad strategy for your future life....telling them will be positive for you on more than 1 level.

Good luck.