trust me, im trying. I've been told theres nothing i can do about it, which i have a hard time believing. Ive been to the doctor, not an endo yet. I live in florida, all there is to do around here is go to the beach. I wish i could, and IVE TRIED BELIEVE ME. Every time, either my friends point it out, not being mean but they do. It hurts like hell. Ive even once had a perfect stranger yell out to me "hey nice breasts." that was it for me. thats the last time ive taken my shirt off in public. And I have a job application out for Publix. They havent called me back. I know ppl have worse problems to me like if they have cancer or something. BUt you know what, having gyne makes me want to have cancer sometimes, hoping id just die. Cuz every time i think about it, dying isnt such a terrible thing. You cant say that to anyone tho because they call social services (trust me, ive been through that mess) I've been through a bunch of shit. I've been in a foster home for 7 months, I work my ass off around my house trying to be "the man of the house" since my dad has nothing to do with me. It's not easy to have a social life, not be able to take off your shirt, and be a man wen your 12-13 years old. I just want hope. I want someone to tell me that there is something i can do about it. I want to go to an endo and get my hormones checked. I WANT TO live some of my life. PPL always tell me, these are the best years of your life. well i dont believe it, not for me anyway.
I'm not usually one to complain about my life, but i just really cannot take it anymore. I watched that Gynecomastia Taboo video above with GB in it... I CRIED. I freakin cried man. I did for about 2 hours post seeing that because I just kept thinking, that's me. thats me. thats me.
Depression is really getting the best of me. I've dealt with this for long enough. I want to do something about it. I don't know what I can though.
I can't talk to anyone about this except the people on this board, because you people are the only people that truly understand me. And I don't know. It just gives me hope. And hope is what i really need right now.