Keeping it confiidential

[DeeDubStyle619]

How can I keep the procedure confidential from the person that  would be picking me up from the hospital?

[xelnaga13]

Def. not easy. I put a lot of thought into that very question before my 2nd surgery. I did not want my parents to worry that the condition was more than cosmetic. My only friend at the time was a women who I was just not comfortable sharing the personal nature of the surgery with.

After much thought I decided to just be honest with my friend. My logic was when they put you under and you wake up you're not in control of your surrounding as far as appearance. Also there are sooo many staff members in the hospital and you never know what someone may say or ask  not thinking.

Getting dropped off at the hospital I had a staff member walk up to me and ask me what kind of surgery I was there for. It was in ear shot of a young lady who was also there for surgery. These things happen.

After surgery you will have bandages and maybe drains that can further complicate things.

[anogyne]

I told everyone that I did some work on my back to help with my posture. Also that the garment provided was for keeping my back straight. Worked OK.

[Paa_Paw]

Years ago a man reported here that he responded to anyone who asked by saying: "I had a growth removed, fortunately not malignant, Thanks for your concern."

That response may have been deliberately misleading, but it actually was the truth.

The trouble is that you cannot keep some things secret forever and the worst thing that could happen is that you would be exposed as a liar.

[anogyne]

Years ago a man reported here that he responded to anyone who asked by saying: "I had a growth removed, fortunately not malignant, Thanks for your concern."

That response may have been deliberately misleading, but it actually was the truth.

The trouble is that you cannot keep some things secret forever and the worst thing that could happen is that you would be exposed as a liar.

I get your point. But personally I've been lying/covering this up since I was 11.. that's half my life. Adding a few more lies for a while isn't gonna make much of a difference for me. When it's done and healed up I can quit the lies cause' no one will ask or look.

I think of myself as an honest person and not a liar. I have this condition and do not want to share it with everyone. And the reactions I've got from failing to hide it as a teenager showed me that people will take the truth and rub it in your face..

All due respect but I consider none of us liars.

[xelnaga13]

I did find that some " friends" that I shared my story with were pretty envious in a negative way. Everyone has to accept certain things about their bodies that they do not like; and they are not always very nice when they hear that you are doing something about your dislikes.

[art]

If you have a very good friend, just be honest with them.  If they are a good friend, they should be understanding and sensitive to your desire for privacy about the procedure.

I've had several consultations and will be scheduling my own surgery shortly.  I'm still on the fence as to whether or not I wish to share this with my parents.  If I do, they'll be more than happy to take me on the big day.  If not, I have a close friend who knows about the situation and will help me out.

[Paa_Paw]

It was not my intent to call anyone a liar per se.

As was point out, there are some falsehoods that we live with and sometimes we do or say things that are intentionally misleading though not with malice.

If it is neccessary to take time off from work, and the reason for the absence was an outright lie, the lie could be grounds for termination if discovered later.

I was simply trying to point out that a person should be careful. When the basic story is based upon truth, It cannot come up and bite you later.

[DeeDubStyle619]

I am what you could call a lone wolf I guess. I have many friends, but none are too close. I figure I have hid it this long, and saved up the money on my own, I deserve to keep it private. Does someone have to sign in or something when picking you up? How does that whole process work?

[nitrox987]

It probably depends on your surgeon but I had to give the name and phone number of the person who would drive me home after surgery.
I can't remember if she had to sign anything or not but it would have been really hard to hide the type of surgery.

You also don't want to be alone for the next 24h after surgery just in case something goes wrong.

I don't know if it's applicable to your case but if you really want to keep it confidential, my advice would be to hire someone to pick you up and look after you after surgery.
You could stay for a day or two in an hotel and have a nurse looking after you for the night after surgery.
I am sure your surgeon could find a nurse for you.
It will cost you more money in the end but that will be the price to safety and confidentiality.