Looking to let my feelings out

[Salami89]

Hopefully this will make me feel better, I have so much i have to say and no one i can talk to. I just found this site.

I'm not sure what to type so ill just type it as it comes to me, sorry if it sounds disjointed.

I'm aussie, 18, 5'11", healthy, a bit overweight (83kg), very handsome and deeply depressed.

I have had Gyn, as you call it, for as long as I can remember. Infact, the furtherest i can think back was in 4th grade doing a safety swimming test which involved swimming in a speedo (lol) and i remember holding my arms around my body. Although, my breasts couldn't have been very big back then.. =/

I am now ADEPT at hiding myself. I'm like.. a ninja. I have always hidden myself both physically and mentally. More so in highschool, which is finally over. In grade 7 when i had to change out of my school shirt into my soccer jersy i'd walk to the back of the field and face the road so nobody could see me as i HASTILY swapped shirts. And in grade 8 and 9 when changing into sports uniform in the locker room i would find a corner and stay in it as i changed, luckily there were obese people that got the attention. In senior i ALWAYS wore a jacket, and to hide the truth i made it into a game saying that i would win a bet for the longest time wearing a jumper in the sweltering sun. How stupid.. Now In university i have an array of nice dress shirts which hide me nicely.

Okay.. what next

Ever since i was around 9 (the year of my parents divorce, i dont blame this on that event but it may be notable) I've been pudgy, before then i was such a skinny mick! I remember when i was 6 i did swimming and because i was so lean and long i had to swim at the deep end because i was cheating.

Through high school I was a fairly average height i guess, but under developed and a bit pudgy (not like your typical fat kid, just puppy fat, you know?) But yeah, I am a very slow developer. My voice started breaking at the end of last year (late 17) and pubic hair started at 15. My voice now is deeper and breaking, things are growing, hair is really growing, I don't have any facial hair but now the hair over my top lip is darkening.

Sorry this sounds like a puberty story..

When I was 16 and doing biology (im a science undergraduate at the moment) we studying hereditary diseases, klinefelters, turners etc. This was very hard for me and I used to come home, get on the internet, look at pictures and weep. i'd often tell me mum that i feel something is wrong with me (never mentioned heriditary diseases) and she reassured me saying that If there was any "disease" it would have been picked up in my tests at birth and that ALL my family have been late developers (this is sadly true). Over the holidays I really started changing, I have lost A LOT of weight off my face and shoulders, my clavicle now protrudes, i see the glands in my neck and i have a well defined chin and jaw line. (maybe it will work its way down and kill the gyn..)

I have really had a rough childhood in my personal life, but i have been very fortunate with my social life, I was very popular at every school, I had the best friends and i was never teased

So now for the point. I am terrified of doctor's as I'm afraid they will diagnose me. I know i have gyn and I'm not going to get surgery, I know there is a way to beat it and maybe ill grow out of it. But i am concerned I may have klinefelters..

If I get diagnosed and I found out i have klinefelter's, i will kill myself. No i am not being a drama queen
and no i am not seeking attention in  saying this. I will kill myself. Without reproduction my life if pointless and I refuse to live as a mutant.

So with feelings like this, how can I get help?

My father is extremely supportive and fairly wealthy. I now have a beautiful smile due to the $4000 braces be bought me and he helps me with the clothes to hide myself, but he just thinks its fat, not hormone induced. (though, maybe he does know and thinks i don't know)         

I'm not going to proof read this, it will make me more depressed. Just please post any thoughts or advise you would have for me and ask any questions. Please.

Edit: I posted pretty hastily as i was excited to be able to explain my issues, looking at all your pictures i deffinatly have gyne, but i dont just have the fatty breast, i have a band of fat across from my chest under my armpit and on my back ( as well as tummy and love handles)

Perhaps it will go as i pass through puberty - if i go to a doctor, hes just going to say im fat and need to lose weight, which i do

[Grandpa Bambu]

Hopefully this will make me feel better, I have so much i have to say and no one i can talk to. I just found this site.

Welcome to the site dude! 

I am a very slow developer. My voice started breaking at the end of last year (late 17) and pubic hair started at 15. My voice now is deeper and breaking, things are growing, hair is really growing, I don't have any facial hair but now the hair over my top lip is darkening.

There is some connection with gynecomastia and 'late bloomers'. I was a late bloomer myself.

I conducted a survey a year or two ago about 'Gyne/Late Bloomers'. Many of those who posted were infact 'late bloomers'.

FYI... there is also a connection between gyne and height. Most guys with gyne are approx 6 feet tall. My PS told me that most of his gyne patients are about 6 feet tall. I ran another poll here in the past about 'Gyne/Height'. Most of the posters were 6'+.

   

I know i have gyn and I'm not going to get surgery. My father is extremely supportive and fairly wealthy.

Obviously money is not a problem.... why are you opposed to surgery?

I know there is a way to beat it and maybe ill grow out of it.

Anything is possible, however at 18 years of age, your hormones prolly have stopped 'raging' and you 'are' what you are dude.

But i am concerned I may have klinefelters.. If I get diagnosed and I found out i have klinefelter's, i will kill myself. Without reproduction my life if pointless and I refuse to live as a mutant.

Dude... my step-son Mike has Klinefelter syndrome and they say Prader-Willey syndrome as well. Apearently, the docs say that it is extremely rare to have both at the same time. Yes, Mike does have his 'problems', however he is dealing with it and living life the best he knows how.

I may have Klinefelter myself. I am very much like a Klinefelter person. Had gynecomastia, have feminine characteristics, have small penis and testicles. Of all the shagging I've done, I've never knocked a girl up. So... it's doubtful that I am able to produce any offspring. But hey, that's life you know. Nobody said that life was going to be fair. You just have to play the hand that you are delt my man. Suicide is the cowards way out...
 

Thanks for sharing! 

GB

[realist85]

I have always hidden myself both physically and mentally. More so in highschool, which is finally over.

I can definitely relate. I always wondered why people called me aloof and cold occasionally. I wonder if personality can change after damage has been done. Appreciate the social life and friends you have, those are keepers.

Regardless, there are going to be so many technologies for reproducing without sperm and egg within the next 2 decades, so don't worry about that.

[Grandpa Bambu]

Regardless, there are going to be so many technologies for reproducing without sperm and egg within the next 2 decades, so don't worry about that.

Cloning... 

GB

[Salami89]

I feel a lot better this morning

When reading the site the only thing I don't like is how you all feel surgery is you dream and there i no other way, is this truly the case?

Just because my father is wealthy doesn't mean I can burden him further with cosmetic upgrades (teeth )

As i said I still have weight to lose, I have a very muscular frame, My chest flab isn't like feminine breasts though, its more like a triangle with a gyne nipple head lol. And if i can get rid of the flab and still have gyne, i would be very happy, I have seen many guys with gyne that don't know they have it and no one says anything.

[Mr_Nip]

...I have seen many guys with gyne that don't know they have it and no one says anything.

That is a profound observation, my friend. 

It has been said by doctors on this site that all men have some amount of gland.  It's only gyne when it LOOKS like women's breasts.  That can be VERY subjective. 

If you're happy with your look after losing flab as you stated, then you don't need surgery.