My life with this condition.

[Kinesthetikz]

I have had this condition, along with phimosis (which is where the head of the penis is attached to the foreskin by a strip of flesh, preventing pulling the foreskin over the head), for 12 years - from age 12-24(current).

I just wanted to come on here and say that these two problems, especially combined, have almost ruined my life.

I am 24 years old and  have some f-ed up psychological damage.  I have never even touched a girl, let alone had a girlfriend.  I don't like it when they try to touch me.  I haven't masturbated since I was 10.  I am socially anxious to a point where it is crippling.  I have severe clinical depression with signs of schizophrenia starting to show (caused by the extremity of the depression).  I have come to resent humanity and all forms of life in general.  I resent sexuality now.  Even if  was able to fix my physical problems, I don't think I am mentally fit to handle that aspect of life anymore.

I haven't worn a t-shirt in public since I was 12 (when gyno started).  All throughout school, I wore jackets.  I fought with the teachers tooth and nail to be allowed to wear my big coat in class.  Girls?   lol.. forget them...   it seems like the part of me that was interested in them died sometime between 12- and now (I'm 24 years old right now).

I am about as suicidal as a person can get.  I have never been the type to feel sorry for myself, I was awesome in football all throughout highschool.  I was never a depressed type, until about 18.  When you are an 18 year old male virgin, the question comes up..  "why?"  -   Unfortunately there is no one answer to this question for me.  It is a combination of psychological issues, coupled with the fact that physically, sex would be excruciatingly painful.  (Due to phimosis) - LET ALONE the fact that I won't let anyone see my chest.

I can't hold a steady job, because I feel so much different than other people that I can't bare to be around them.  The only time I feel SOME peace is when I'm alone, and don't have to deal with anything.  My last 15 terms of employment lasted a total of 14 days....
yes.. i left halfway through the day twice in the middle of work, due to a panic attack about my chest.  I thought people were looking and I walked 19 miles home.

I haven't cried since I was 13, but as I type this now, I can't help but bawl like a little girl.  (This is so untypical of me it's sickenning)  11 years record, no crying broken, because of typing on the internet.  awesome.

anyway, I'm not looking for attention, I am just finding it therapeutic to type this shit all out.

I am currently in the process of getting into great shape,  (notice how gynecomastia makes lots of people want to get into shape?  thats kind of a good thing)  but i know due to the puff nipples that I will eventually need surgery for it.  I will also need a circumcision, which I know will be the most painful experience of my life.  Fixing these two problems is the first key to me not becoming a mindless vegetable, because that's where I'm headed at this rate.  The psychological damage is just too much to handle.

I doubt I could ever have a woman, or touch one due to the damage that already happened, but if I could at least wear a t-shirt in public again, things might start coming together, just a little bit.  But right now life seems hopeless.

[Dave_8]

Hang in there man. Just take one step at a time. I may never know what exactly you're going through but my situation is similar to yours. I sometimes go through a small period of depression lasting from 2 weeks to 3 months but I always say to myself that everything will always get better. The depression is not only from my gyne, but other shit that happened long ago and still going on today. And you're right, the oonly time I feel peace is when I'm alone. Hang in there man.

[mrpower33]

Hey, you need to get it together.  What you need is a plan to take care of these things one at a time.  I mean, literally take out a piece of paper, write down each problem you think you have, and then list out each step you need to take to overcome them.  Then every single day, do as many of those things on your list.  You need to stop focusing on how crappy you think your life is and start focusing on each of the steps you need to take to make things better.  If you can commit to that, you will see things slowly getting better and that will encourage you to stick with the plan.  You need to stop focusing on your problems and obsessing over them, that will only make things work.  You need to become obsessed with the solutions. 

But are things really that bad?  How bad is your gyne?  As for phimosis, often times that can be fixed with creams and stretching, you should see a doctor about that before getting your foreskin hacked off. 

[Kinesthetikz]

Hey, you need to get it together.  What you need is a plan to take care of these things one at a time.  I mean, literally take out a piece of paper, write down each problem you think you have, and then list out each step you need to take to overcome them.  Then every single day, do as many of those things on your list.  You need to stop focusing on how crappy you think your life is and start focusing on each of the steps you need to take to make things better.  If you can commit to that, you will see things slowly getting better and that will encourage you to stick with the plan.  You need to stop focusing on your problems and obsessing over them, that will only make things work.  You need to become obsessed with the solutions. 

But are things really that bad?  How bad is your gyne?  As for phimosis, often times that can be fixed with creams and stretching, you should see a doctor about that before getting your foreskin hacked off. 

I thank you for the response.  I understand fully that your soul intention is pure, and is to help me;  However, I must point a few things out in response.

I don't focus on these problems daily, monthly or even yearly.  This one night that I made this post is the first night in about 2 years that I actually sat down and thought about these problems.  Between that time I was just getting my mind off it by keeping busy, working out, working, trying to get jobs, paying bills, etc.  So in no way am I obsessed.

Your solution is the only solution indeed.  Thanks for offering it.  I already know that the best way to solve problems is one at a time, etc, etc and all of the logic that comes with problem solving skills.  I have no lack of these.

I assure you I am not some sniveling wimp that cries all the time and is emotional, this is the exact opposite of my usual character.

I posted tonight to give an honest insight, partially to myself (as I said it was therapeutic), and partially for advise on coping skills.

Again though, I thank you for your response, however I need no advice on intelectual ways to solve problems, or how to make priority lists, etc....  these are things I have been using these past few years to keep my mind OFF of what I had to say today.

[Merangue]

Don't worry about the girl thing, I'm sure it'll come to you as you solve your problems and gain confidence.

Just make sure you have a plan going into the future.

Good luck.

[Hope]

Dont look at the problem, focus on the solution.

Problems arise everday but you must look at correcting the problem instead of just looking at the problem.

I understand every gyne sufferers pain and you must understand that their is surgery that can correct this permanently.

I have alot of crap happining in my life and I was the type to use excuces and blame others. I am not saying that you are like this but I have seen quite a few.

My point is that their will always be a solution but you
Must be strong enough to deal with it.

Take one step at a time in solving your issues...

All the best mate and if you have any other gyne related queries then there are alot of people here that can
Put your mind at ease.

[mrpower33]

Hey man, just trying to help.  But the truth is, if you've been having these problems for such a long time and they've brought you to this point, you're probably not doing something right.  You shouldn't have to deal with phimosis for 12 years to the point where it's destroyed your sex drive.  I think that's actually a bigger problem than your gyne.  If you don't have health insurance to see a doctor you need to find some way to get it or find some other solution.  We totally need universal health care in the United States (assuming that's where you live).  It's terrible that you would have to live with these conditions for such a long time and not have found some other options to have made things better (hopefully I'm wrong about that but from your post it doesn't sound like it).  Compression vests are another cheap solution for people with gyne that can't afford the operation.  Stuff like that you know.   Anyway, I'm not assuming I know how to help you, but since you've posted, you're going to get advice from folks here whether you like it or not.  I agree that it does help to type this stuff out, so maybe the dialog here will help you sort things out to some degree and give you some new ideas about how make life better for yourself.     

[Paa_Paw]

Two problems, one can be taken care of by a urologist, the other needs a cosmetic surgeon. Perhaps the services of a psychologist might be helpful to get through it all.

Contrary to popular opinion, I am absolutely certain that it is not unmanly to cry. Sometimes there are feelings that will not come out in any other way.

[headheldhigh01]

good vent.  look forward to hearing you've put the stake through both of these evils instead of the other way around.  and if you take it a day at a time, i bet all your other problems fix themselves a little more naturally after the first two.  welcome to the boards. 

[Grandpa Bambu]

I feel your pain Broh!   

Hang in there dude & seek out some medical help. The psychological BS does get better once the medical issues are addressed.

GB