My mother doesn't believe me..

[kehoe_m]

Hey guys! I'm 18 years old and have had this problem since I was 13. I finally summed up the courage to talk to my mother about it last night. I left a page up on the internet that describes it for her to read, to which she had nothing to say. Then today I brought it up again, about perhaps scheduling a consultation. She replied with, "Well, we'll see".. I keep trying to explain to her how this is a big issue and she doesn't even think I have it "that bad" as some of the other men with this problem. Non-the-less its still quite embarrassing, as I've told her but she thinks I'm just being foolish. 

I would schedule the appointment myself except for the fact I don't have good credit, so I would need her to fill out the medical loan papers and such. If she's not on board then there is no way I'll be able to have this procedure for another few years, which is far too long. Is there any other way I could approach her about this situation? I've practically beat the subject to death over the past few days, I'm getting rather frustrated.

[ShakeWell]

My mother also did not believe me, telling me it is "baby fat" and that it will go away when I was 13, and that "ever guy has it"  time and teasing went on and I became less social, she kept denying I had it and refused to understand why I am so anti-social. I dropped out of school, never had a girl friend and am unable to get a job now at 25 because I cannot socialize but still I have no help from anyone.

The government won't help me because it isn't a real problem according to them, my family won't help me because for one they can't afford to and two they don't believe me. So I am stuck here, living under my mother's roof still wasting away in my room every day because of a few years of teasing from bully's about my breasts while the whole time my mom just thinks I am a lazy do nothing who doesn't want to live, this could not be further from the truth but in her mind it is the truth.

At this point, seeing my life is pointless and hopeless, that I will die depressed alone and without anyone who can help me, it seems suicide would be better in a way than living. In life I am only a burden on others, a fruitless consumer, and I live as though I were dead already anyways. I just cannot muster up the courage to follow through with it.

I hope your mother will at least acknowledge your Gynecomastia and at least try to work with you on it, my mother could have helped me but instead she ignored me and although I do not blame her 100%, she definitely was an assistant in robbing my life from me.

I have $1,000 which I have been saving up for more than 7 years, I cannot understand why a Dr would require any more than that for a procedure like this but obviously they care more about their wallet size than they do about people because I know it cannot cost them anywhere near that much to do the surgery. I have asked if they could lower the price, work with me in some way and they ignore me.

[chubs]

not sure if any of you guys read my experience with Dr. Salas in Tijuana.  The total cost including stay was right at about $2000.  It works out really well for those of us that live in Southern California or San Diego, but if you don't flying over here to the border should save you a few bucks. 

[Dave_8]

Same her kehoe. My mom doesn't believe me but my dad does. Me and my dad have been to 2 consultations already and my mom still thinks im just fat.

[kehoe_m]

Thanks for all the replies, guys! I think my mom is willing to atleast go to a consultation, after persuading her. I just have to schedule it, do you guys have any idea how much a consultation will cost? Or is it usually free?

[Paa_Paw]

It is a common story, Mom is so convinced that her precious son is perfect that she cannot see that a problem exists. Mom is usually right in that the condition actually is "normal" insofar as numbers are concerned. A condition that affects 30% of the adult male population could hardly be considered abnormal. Your Job then is to convince her that, normal or not, it is a source of great embarrassment and potentially a source pf psychological problems as well.

Some parents are very aware and supportive from the start, others do not perceive that the condition is worthy of concern. Perhaps an advocate would help them to see things in the proper light. This advocate might be a Doctor, A school teacher or counselor, or a grandparent. Grandparents can often be of great help since they are close enough to be caring but distant enough to be impartial and objective.

In the case of a young man of 18 years or older, You may simply have to take control of the situation for yourself and start to save for the cost of surgery. This obviously is easier said than done, But it is possible if you set your mind on it.

Good Luck!

[noobs101]

My friend, I think this is a good situation to involve your family doctor... speak to him/her and explain that you need your doctors help to get through the facts and problems about gyne... I'm sure your family doctor would be glad to help out.  Parents seem to only take words of the professional seriously.

Good luck.

[Dave_8]

Just keep talking to her, soon she'll crack.

[DrBermant]

Hey guys! I'm 18 years old and have had this problem since I was 13. I finally summed up the courage to talk to my mother about it last night. I left a page up on the internet that describes it for her to read, to which she had nothing to say. Then today I brought it up again, about perhaps scheduling a consultation. She replied with, "Well, we'll see".. I keep trying to explain to her how this is a big issue and she doesn't even think I have it "that bad" as some of the other men with this problem. Non-the-less its still quite embarrassing, as I've told her but she thinks I'm just being foolish. 

I would schedule the appointment myself except for the fact I don't have good credit, so I would need her to fill out the medical loan papers and such. If she's not on board then there is no way I'll be able to have this procedure for another few years, which is far too long. Is there any other way I could approach her about this situation? I've practically beat the subject to death over the past few days, I'm getting rather frustrated.

Some patients have expressed been frustrated with family that they had to wait until they could afford the surgery themselves.  Many have told me they used this Video of the Emotional Stress of Living with Gynecomastia and other pages of my website to help discuss their concerns with their family. Family can provide a great deal of support. 

Hope this helps,

Michael Bermant, MD
Learn More About Gynecomastia