Telling my parents I have gynecomastia

[6655321]

I am 19 and have had it since I was about 13-14.  I can't live with it anymore.  I feel like I have wasted a lot of my life because of it and this is making me so depressed.  It's horrible.  No one deserves this.

I can't go swimming or to the beach.  I can't wear light colored t shirts.  I can't have a relationship with a girl.  I can't even join the military because I'd get laughed out of boot camp.  I have bad posture because I always walk with my shoulders stooped forward to try to hide it.  And I'm always pulling at my shirt to try to keep my nipples from showing thru my shirt.  I even sleep with a shirt on in case someone walks into my room.  

I used to exercise & lift weights and was in pretty good shape (other than the gyne) but when I realized it made no difference to the gyne I lost interest and now I'm starting to get fatter and out of shape.  However I am still thin and that just makes it worse because they stick out more.  I'm pretty sure I have it, I feel hard lumps under my nipples and they are about the size of golf balls.

I desperately want to go to Dr. Bermant in VA and get the surgery.  But I have 2 problems; I don't have enough money for the surgery, and I'm too embarassed to tell my parents about it.  Either of my parents would lend me the money for the surgery if I asked one of them (they're divorced and I live with my mom and the money isn't an issue with either one).  

I'm sure both of them have probably noticed that my chest is a little bigger than normal, even though I haven't taken my shirt off in front of anyone in years.  But, I just can't bring it up with either of them.  It's just so f*cking embarassing.  I mean what am I supposed to say?

Does anyone have any advice.  Maybe you were in a similar situation and fixed it somehow.  Please, I'm desperate here.  

[Allan7865]

As you said they probably already know, and they probably will lend you the money. Your conversation can only end well. I know I know, its really hard to bring something as this up with them, it was hard for me as well.

Just think of a time when your going to be alone with the one that you plan on asking, and just say to yourself. "I'm going to talk about this today!"

Your going to feel so much better when you finally do get the ball rolling.

[Grandpa Bambu]

6655321....

Dewd....  U gotta suck it up and tell your Mom. Sure it's not an easy thing to do but you gotta confide in someone. If you can't tell your Mom face-to-face, have this thread on your monitor and  have your Mom read it. That will break the ice for ya. Let her read a few posts on the 'Your Stories' board. Make her aware of how mentally crippling this condition can be, and how psychologically painful it is.

Have your Mom watch this short Gynecomastia video. It will help her understand what U have to live with 24/7.

Best of luck Broh!

John.

[cgyne]

Dude you sound just like me Its like im looking in a mirror, I even tough breast was the post I did like half an hou ago. just keep your head up

[headheldhigh01]

sorry to give you a link, but tying two threads together in case you didn't see the other one on this subject:  

http://www.gynecomastia.org/cgi-bin/gyne_yabb/YaBB.cgi?board=1;action=display;num=1136588112

if you get to post 17, i actually wrote out how to say it -- how much more can you ask?  

[Preds]

6655321....

Dewd....  U gotta suck it up and tell your Mom. Sure it's not an easy thing to do but you gotta confide in someone. If you can't tell your Mom face-to-face, have this thread on your monitor and  have your Mom read it. That will break the ice for ya. Let her read a few posts on the 'Your Stories' board. Make her aware of how mentally crippling this condition can be, and how psychologically painful it is.

Have your Mom watch this short Gynecomastia video. It will help her understand what U have to live with 24/7.

Best of luck Broh!

John.

Thats exactlt what I was going to say.  Let them know you have done research.  It will break the ice and you will feel so much better.  I did not have that kind of relationship with my parents but it was similiar with my wife.  She thought I could just run it off until I edjucated her

[Paa_Paw]

As you noted, Your parents are probably well aware.

In all probability the have not said anything because they did not wish to embarass you.

That leaves you as the only person who can open a dialog about your situation. It is not easy to open the door, but you are the only person who can do it.  Once the subject is opened, further conversations will come much more easily.

I am concerned about your apparently very bad self image.  I served in the Air Force Where my Gynecomastia was not an issue.  Later I was a Police Officer where the only notice of my condition came upon graduation from the police academy. The Chief pinned my Badge on my shirt and said "Now here's  a lad who displays his badge proudly."  All present, including myself, laughed.  

I once dated a girl who was so flat chested that my breasts were larger than hers. But even then it was not an issue.

Statistically, those of us who  have at least some degree of breast enlargement at some point in our lives are in the majority.  

Yes, we have all been teased, and it is hard to take. but the truth is that our greatest torment usually comes from ourselves.

[BR_Guy]

6655321,

As noted here, and by yourself, your parents already have a clue about your ginecomastia. But, may be they don't know what it is.

Go ahead. Talk to your parents.
First, make them know how serious is that fo you.
Say something like "Mom, sit down here and let me tell you about something very, very important to me, which is also very embarrassing..."

Once you say that,  I'm sure that your mom will listen you very respectfully, and will help you to fell confort to stat talking about your problem.

And, for sure, she will be glad to help you in any possible way.

[Allan7865]

Tell us how it went.

[6655321]

Thanks for the responses.

I will keep trying to work up the courage to deal with this.

[Gynohider]

Your situation is virtually identical to my own. For months I have been reading this site and wanted to tell my parents but haven't worked up the courage.

BTW, do you live near the beach? I live in a tropical area where the beach is 20 minutes away and haven't been taken my shirt off in front of anyone in about 8-9 years. Im 22 btw.

Anyway, just wanted to tell you that you aren't alone in battling this condition.

[Allan7865]

Your situation is virtually identical to my own. For months I have been reading this site and wanted to tell my parents but haven't worked up the courage.

BTW, do you live near the beach? I live in a tropical area where the beach is 20 minutes away and haven't been taken my shirt off in front of anyone in about 8-9 years. Im 22 btw.

Anyway, just wanted to tell you that you aren't alone in battling this condition.

Man thats got to suck. I'm glad I live in Canada where its Winter half the year. I like jackets and big sweaters.

[Grandpa Bambu]

Man thats got to suck. I'm glad I live in Canada where its Winter half the year. I like jackets and big sweaters.

I live in Brampton, Ontario Canada and did the big baggy sweat-shirt / big heavy winter coat thing also. Geeze, that continued well into the spring even with the warmer temps. Everyone would say "aren't you hot with a coat and sweat-shirt". It was very difficult to shed my 'security blanket'.  :-/

John.

[6655321]

BTW, do you live near the beach? I live in a tropical area where the beach is 20 minutes away and haven't been taken my shirt off in front of anyone in about 8-9 years. Im 22 btw..

Yes, I live in S. FL which just makes it worse.