Therapy

[Londoner1001]

Hi everyone,

I've been looking on this site since 2009 when my girlfriend and I separated due to issues I had with my Gynecomastia that I never shared with her. Since that time I have still kept it a secret from everyone I know however my friends are starting to comment on my lack of confidence with girls as I'm a very loud and outgoing person in the rest of my life.

I have a bad case of Gynecomastia in my opinion however I know that even smaller cases can have the same life changing issues. I have been haunted in my adult life with issues from my childhood relating to this issue and have never spoken with anyone about it. I have recently lost 50 lbs and my gynecomastia is exactly the same as prior to my weight loss, when I was fat I could hide it as man boobs but now I look odd and although I should be enjoying added confidence since losing the weight I have infant lost confidence in myself even more.

To lose the weight I had two 1hr sessions of hypnotherapy and now thoroughly believe that although physical appearance can change the way we actually 'feel' is all in the mind and I have contacted the same therapist for help with these issues, I still intend on surgery when I've lost more weight however I also want to ensure that the way I 'feel' is conquered beforehand.

I wanted to know if anyone has had successful therapy that helped their confidence with this issue that seems to affect so many of us.

Thanks,

Londoner1001

[Dr. Elliot Jacobs]

Welcome to the forum.  Yours is a very touching story and one that I have heard many times, in one form or another.

I often tell my patients that having gyne is a double whammy -- the physical problem and the emotional/body image problem.  You have already discovered that losing weight simply won't make your gyne go away.  While you are still losing weight and, perhaps, coming to grips with the emotional aspects of it, I might suggest that you wear a snug compression garment, which will provide you with a better shape in your clothing.

Ultimately, you will probably require surgery to completely remove the problem -- and again, as I tell my patients, we are able to help two parts of the body -- the chest and the self image.

Good luck to you!

Dr Jacobs

[Londoner1001]

Hi Dr Jacobs,

Thank you for your reply, I have one compression undershirt that I recently bought and wore today, definitely helps the image which is brilliant.

I am pleased to hear that both parts have to be tackled and I am sure that by the next new year ill be a new man which feels me with confidence.

Many thanks once again.

Londoner1001

[McGilli]

I only started talking about mine in the last half year. First I showed my doctor last summer- he said yep go see some surgeons. So saw surgeons. Then after I had booked my surgery - I told my psychiatrist and then my psychologist.

It's been very helpful for me.

I see them regularly because of massive anxiety I have. However, being able to finally talk about my chest - it has helped me quite a bit mentally.

My chest has been a very, very large part of my daily anxiety for so long.

I remember after I told my psychologist a full hour long story about my chest starting from when I was in my early teens - after I had told her everything - she said :

"You know - I bet most people don't even notice your chest."

And - it's helped me a lot. Just thinking about that. Of course it didn't solve anything and I'm still critical and anxious about how my chest looks. But it kind of made me notice when I'm out and about that people aren't looking down at my chest. ever.

Then she said "so when you get your surgery and you have the chest you want - do you think all of those people will suddenly start looking at your chest?"

of course the answer is no.

Still - I noticed I look at every mans chest wherever I go. I guess it's a reaction to my insecurity. Still, once I'm healed I'll feel much better. ANd even though I'm sure most people don't care what my chest looks like - at least I'll be happy.

Still - it's helped talking to someone. Has made me see a few things from a different perspective.

[tpuk]

I saw a talking therapist.

My head is messed up - and gyno was/is a huge part of it.

TBH i found therapy just OK - not great - not bad - but expensive.

In the end I didn't see what there was to talk about; I def wanted surgery as I had spent a year losing loads of weight, given up drinking etc & no amount of rationalisation made me feel better, I had waited more than 20 years, and much of my life has evaporated - no holidays, no beach, no swimming, no sports, just solitary stuff.

If I were to go down the 'talking therapy' route again it would be with a proper psychologist or psychiatrist and not a regular councellor or any other therapist type person.

Post-op I am much better, but there is always more work to be done

[xelnaga13]

I saw a talking therapist.

My head is messed up - and gyno was/is a huge part of it.

TBH i found therapy just OK - not great - not bad - but expensive.

In the end I didn't see what there was to talk about; I def wanted surgery as I had spent a year losing loads of weight, given up drinking etc & no amount of rationalisation made me feel better, I had waited more than 20 years, and much of my life has evaporated - no holidays, no beach, no swimming, no sports, just solitary stuff.

If I were to go down the 'talking therapy' route again it would be with a proper psychologist or psychiatrist and not a regular councellor or any other therapist type person.

Post-op I am much better, but there is always more work to be done

It's very hard to predict which therapist or psychologist will be effective in treating you. Ive seen them through out my life. It really takes about 4-6 visits before you evaluate his/her effectiveness.  After 4-6 weeks the doc. should have enough back round and contemporary information to start helping you address your issues. I prefer a doc. who challenges my interpretations and ideas when appropriate. Otherwise you're basically just paying someone to shoot the breeze with once a week for an hour.