Tough day

[Ben2cat]

I am having one of those days again with the frustrating thoughts and appearance.... things are tough and I am trying to get motivated and keep a positive attitude.... but after taking a shower i have been in the pitts about myself... I simply feel alone with this and any help would be great....
I know what it takes... I am just not taing the action to get it going...
besides when I am honest about it with people.... I am scared into anger and pity.... fear that I am a nut or something... and honestly there is not a mean bone in my body.. just this internal rejection.....

[Merangue]

What works for me in those situation is outlining a clear plan on how to solve the problem. Write down your problem on a piece of paper then the steps you will take to fix it (don't just think about it).

Overweight? Plan out your diet and exercise goals.
Need money for surgery? Plan out your savings goals.

Then ofcourse, follow through on them. Come back to the paper every day and check what you did that day to bring you closer to it.

I didn't just have the money for surgery, had to save it up over a year and half (should be able to get it done by June). It helps to lay out your plans so you can see yourself progressing towards the end of your problems. Don't let the "hopeless" feeling perpetuate.

[Ben2cat]

Cool.... something I never thought clearly about...  GOALS......
Thanks

[Ben2cat]

I'm 42 & had it all my life & I have "had it" I wish my head would have been screwed on stright to know about this 20 years ago... iNstead I feel like I have wasted so many opportunities and wasted so much time & money on foolish mistakes, poor behavior, and even WOMEN.... Yes Women.... If I would have known this 20 years ago............. granted I would not be where I am today or maybe I would not have what I have today..... can i say it held me back..... oh yes.... but no longer............ I am changin this and my life...
Thanks guys!!

[Noseguard]

Hey I had the surgery at 40.  Matter of fact I had it april 15 just last year.

I had it severe, a 10 on anyone's scale.  BEST THING I EVER DID.

I too wonder what took so long, but I feel so good I almost don't care.  Can't wait for pool season.

Good Luck

[Paa_Paw]

Ben,

You can stop beating yourself for not acting sooner. Twenty years ago the surgical methods of today were quite new and they have been refined since then as well. Now, there is not a good reason to put it off whereas there might haqve been back then.

I should add that even now there are some of us who do not make good candidates for surgery. 

[George Pope, M.D.]

Ben,

You are 42 years old, and you've shared with us that you've suffered with this long enough.  Take the advice of the guys on this site, and fomulate a plan.

Here's how to keep yourself moving in a positive direction:

Your post on this thread you started was made on Thursday, April 2.  Between now and Thursday, April 9, sit down and WRITE OUT a plan for yourself (change in diet, change in exercise routine, call to plastic surgeon's office, consultation with plastic surgeon, how you'll chart your progress, financing  surgery plan, etc).

Then on Thursday, April 9, go to the USER DIARIES section of this site and start your own diary thread.  Lay out your plan on the initial post on your diary, and then post your progress every Thursday.  We will all follow your progress and help you along.

It sounds like procrastination is part of your problem, and believe me, you're not alone there.  Writing down a plan, particularly if you write it down here for all to see and follow, will help you stay motivated and keep moving.

I'll look for your diary post on the 9th.

Dr. Pope, M.D.

[wantnewlife]

hey ben, instead of keeping these thoughts to yourself, you should probably share them with somebody who's close to you.. like your parents or wife or a friend.. they might be able to help you.. i am 30.. i am also suffering like you due to my inaction..

[Ben2cat]

Thank you Everyone... I have some plans that will not be in place for a while...
Lots of crap going on in my life that I have to take care of. I am seeing a physician, and making small steps. I have no wife... she left me... another rejection I came to terms with....
It is tough, I have to motivate and make certain I am accountable

[wantnewlife]

hey Ben2cat ,
Wish you all the best..

[Paa_Paw]

I think Dr. Pope nailed this one down quite well.

Everyone should read and reread his response.