I hate My "G"

[RepCracker]

I've been reading this site for some time now and have finally gotten the confidence to post.   I truly admire those of us who have come to accept their gynocomastia.   I just wish I had the same courage.

I'm 38 years old with obvious gynocomastia.   My self esteem is non-existant.  I hate my bodyand  I cannot drive myself to ask a woman out for a date.

It's totally demoralizing.

How do you people manage it?

[Grandpa Bambu]

Congrats on your first post my man...

Yes, G is very emasculating. It can be very tough to approach women for fear of rejection. Also, if we do not like ourselves, then subconsciously, we feel that no one else could either. Therefore, we don't even try... 

Most just cover it up the best they can...

Have you considered surgical reduciton?

GB

[Paa_Paw]

In my youth, I thought I was the only one who had this problem.

Starting out as a very outgoing boy, I became increasingly shy and withdrawn. My first date was my High School graduation party.

Entering the Military at the age of 18 filled me with dread. The experience was eased considerably by the fact that there was a guy in my unit who was a real sissy. He made such a good victim that the bullies didn't have the time nor inclination to harass  me too much.

At the age of 24, some guys fixed me up with a blind date. (My first Date since Graduating from High School) It was their idea of a joke, she was totally flat chested. In fact, my breasts were larger than hers. Oddly, we became very good friends and dated as such for a couple of years. We were both military and she was transferred.

No more dates until I was nearly 35. When I started dating the lady I would marry later that year.

I cannot say that I have ever fully accepted my condition, but I have become able to ignore it to a great degree. Over the years I have learned that the condition is very common and considered normal by many health care professionals if there is no pathology.

The modern methods of surgery for male breast reduction came together about the time I was 50 years old. By that time, with a growing family and all, I had other priorities so surgery was not sought.

After a lifetime of wearing layered clothes to conceal myself. I started wearing Tee Shirts at the age of 60. By this time, I really don't care any more who sees or knows about it. Various health problems make me no longer a good surgical candidate in any case. I'm now 71 years old.

It is not a matter of courage, at some time a person simply realizes that they need to get on with their life. Good effective surgery was not available until I had passed caring.

I had hoped that the free flow of information in this modern age would lead to the condition of Gynecomastia being better understood and accepted. Unfortunately, the reverse seems to have happened and we are ever more stigmatized. (Mostly by ourselves)

For most who will read my words, there is now a real alternative. If the condition is having a serious impact upon your life; Surgery is safe, effective, and cosmetically very good. This is only true with consistency though if you use the services of a well qualified cosmetic surgeon.

The only other choice is to continue as you are. The decision is yours.

If for some reason, the surgical option is not available for you or for health reasons you are not a good surgical candidate, you can get help here in learning to cope as well.

Good Luck.

[RepCracker]

Thanks for the words of encouragement.  My G really hit home a couple of months ago when I saw a picture of myself in summer clothes and so I decided to read up on what I can do about it.   As of now all options are open.  I'd prefer not to go the surgical route as my cat whom I love so dearly will notice something different

I'm just coming to the conclusion that I need to do something.  I guess interacting with others that share my problem is a safe place to start.

[Noseguard]

Something happened to me at your age too.  Not sure what it was.  I always knew I had it, hated it, and wanted it gone.  However for some reason it was not until I was 39 did I finally say I had had enough. 

Hard to say exactly what it was.  I remember seeing a discovery health piece about it in my mid 30s.  Dr. Jacobs was featured in the piece.  But it still took a few years to get the surgery.  Interestingly I ended up using Jacobs.

It may also have been that with many weight fluctuations it had gotten worse over the years.  Also, I lost a lot of weight and I cared more about my appearance. Also, my wife got in great shape, and I cared more about myself.

Whatever combination it was, it took 40 years to fix.  Once I got the nerve to call a doc and got a consultation there was no turning back.

[RepCracker]

you're not gong to solve your problem by sharing it with others. Get the surgery!

I know that, but it's helpful for me to share my feelings and read how others just like me deal with it.  Have you had surgery?  Did your insurance over the costs?

[Paa_Paw]

With the realization that I was far from alone. That many men had this condition and I was not some kind of freak. Came a great improvement in my self image.

For some of us, that is all the help we need. Others will not be satisfied and will persue the surgical route.

It is not our intent here to find fault with either. We simply inform.

[Christopherson]

Paa_Paw is just oozing with wisdom here.  Very cool to have young and older people all meshing so well about an issue that holds us all down.  I can tell you that there's basically two choices for somebody who feels like you and I do, if you lack confidence.  Get the Surgery Rep, or put life on hold.  The problem, is that you now KNOW you have a big scary (and $$$) choice.  If you had grown up ill informed, with basically zero options, then it wouldn't be ticking at you that you're not doing anything about it. 

Fact is, people here are saying time and time again that they put it off, only to do something about it later.  Its awsome that they did something, but sadly choices were made in the mean time that maybe would have been different if they had the confidence.  Little things and big things.  Some may have taken a shot at that special lady, but missed their chance.  Others may have been lucky enough to already be with that special lady, and made her suffer with them due to personal insecurities. 

I'm speaking from experience.  I'm still very young, and God willing I have a full life ahead of me with my wife.  But when I was just 17, and she 18, I started dating a beautiful girl, in fact a beautiful model.  She was perfect in every way physically, and I was not.  It was obvious that I was into her looks, but I looked deeper, and in return, so did she.  She saw in me something better than my looks, long story short, we've been married for a few years and she has my first born in her belly right now.  Sad fact, is that even though I managed to score the girl, and she was so hot, I put her through hard times because I wasn't dealing with my Gyne.  Basically, she's perfect to be laying out at the beach, playing around at the water park, swimming at the pool, etc. but she didn't get to do ANY of that because of me.  It took me a very long time to learn how to not cope, but ignore my gyne, and it bugs the crap of me to this very moment sitting here typing this.  But I'm absolutely positive that the moment the funds are available, I'll be getting this surgery.  Not just because I'm selfish (which we all are to a degree), while I'm about to have a little boy to spend money on, which I dont have much of to begin with, but because I dont want HIM to suffer like she did. 

All I'm getting at, is you're thinking about getting the nerve to ask a woman out, and this is holding you back.  So what happens if you get that girl, and she'd love nothing more than to lay around at the beach, both in swim suites, resting her head on your chest???  That's pretty romantic stuff... till you factor in a dude who wouldn't be caught dead with his shirt off.  Kind of the deal breaker on that one you see?  You're 38, so wouldn't you like to say that all through your 40's you lived a funner, more liberated life than in your teens, 20's and 30's put together?  Your cat will understand

[Allhopeaside]

my thoughts exactly christopherson. walked out on a girl for the same reasons earlier this year. still a bit broken up about it. but on the plus side made me crazy enough to raise $5,000 in 6 months. Could invest that money or put it down on a nicer car. But for me, just being able to get the mail without 3 shirts on in the morning, swim in a pool without being "t shirt guy", or just flat out wear a t-shirt without some sort of compression or layering is going to be worth every single penny. the surgery will make all of that possible, and if you think about all the times it bothers you every day and than just subtract all of that from your life, it isn't that much money at all. in this sense, money really can buy happiness. best of luck to all you guys.