My depression due to gynecomastia

[gyne_22]

I have had man boobs for the the rest of my life. I am 22 years old, weight about 206 pounds and my height is 5’5. Suffering with gynecomastia has turned my life into a complete downfall and  has put me into a position where I don’t feel like living anymore. I know what I am saying is wrong but the reason why I am making this post is because I would really appreciate it if you guys would give me  a re-encouraging  response. In high school, I weighed about 280 pounds. I never really cared about my moobs. Even when my friends would pinch me, I never really cared because I know they were just joking around. After high school, I was a complete party person. Hung out with a lot of friends, was very social and my man boobs never really bothered me, I just knew I was really fat. Now that I am in College, I got serious with my diet, ran 3 miles every other day and went to the gym 5 times a week. It took me about a year and a half to get where I’m at. So now that I am 206 pounds, I have really big man boobs. Having man boobs is so frustrating. There are so many thing I have to do to prevent it from showing. Like I would buy an under armour to hide it and when I would go running, I would use a waist trimmer around my chest. My life sucks. I’m getting tired of using the under armour especially when I go out. Also, they would get loose and would have to buy another one and those things are not cheap. Anyway, one of the most depressing thing about gynecomastia is the fact that I can never be in a relationship. All my friends are dating and getting into a somewhat relationship with one another. But I was never jealous of them. The real depressing thing is that I really liked this person for almost a year and in the beginning of that year I was 235 pounds. when I was losing more weight, I feel like that person lost attraction because of my man boobs. Then after, I feel like that person didn’t want to be my friend because he was embarrassed of me. This person used to devour my company but not anymore. Now were not friends. I honestly feel like an embarrassment to the whole world. I am heartbroken and nobody knows the pain I have inside me. My man boobs has ruined my self conscious and has put me into a low self esteem. Before, I was never like this. I used to be the person who would make people feel better if they were going through some hardship. I was always helping one another and always boosting one’s self esteem. Now, I am the one who needs help. I’m too embarrassed to talk to my friends about my problems. There are many days where I told myself to stop complaining and do something about it I. did a lot of pectoral workouts. I also looked online to look for a gyne surgeon. So I found one in La Jolla, San Diego and this surgeon only did fat removal. The price wasn’t too expensive. So when I did the free consultation, I felt like the doctor wasn’t very helpful and didn’t want to work with my chest. He told me to just lose more weight. He didn’t encourage me in in anyway to work with my man boobs. So then I looked for another surgeon in San Diego and this surgeon was very helpful. But he recommended me to look for a surgeon who will do incisions due to the saggy skin. It motivated me to lose more weight. But now my man boobs were getting bigger for some reason. Also, I never have the mood to go to school due to the fact that I feel like everyone is staring me down. I avoided all my friends phone calls because im too ashamed to hang out. I have the greatest friends ever and im pushing them away. I just don’t want to deal with someone looking at me. What is also stressful is that I know my family is not going to be able pay for my surgery especially of the fact I have to do incisions. The stress I go through day by day is getting worse and its leading me to a great depression. I  am no longer a happy person.  I sleep and wake up feeling sad  because of my man boobs. Sometimes I wish I was no longer living so I didn’t have to see my man boobs anymore. Yes, you could say im suicidal but I don’t want to be. I know there is so much more to life out there and I have a really big family who loves me. I don’t want to disappoint them. I am just so tired of being frustrated that i cant go out, go to school, or to do anything. I feel like death is the only way out. My life is a complete depression and I also feel like im going crazy. Hopefully this post will help me in some way. There are more things I can say but these are the major things I am going through. Thank you for taking your time to read my story and I hope your helping words will boost up my self esteem.

[Wod]

You are most definatly not alone here!, iv always looked after my body and yet iv still got gyno!. Since the age of 13 my doctor said, itd go. If it doesnt when im 18 then itl get sorted. Im 19 now, went back really unhappy twice. "no can do!".

Since this i have quit the gym, i only wear dark clothing as i find it hides it a bit. I used to be able to deal with it when growing up as i thought itd get sorted when im older. Used to walk around topless when it got hot etcetc. My girl friend says there not that bad. But i take my top of now a lot less, and i do not let her near them. It really gets you down, more then people realise!. You know its prooven if you wear boring coloured clothing rather then vibrant it can affect your mood. And that is just one very slight side effect of the main problem!

Dont really know what to say to you mate, im supposed to be starting councilling this week!. Iv had problems lately and im only 19, the gyno just adds to the situation. Im trying to create a plan for my own life. Yano, one thing i want to say to you man. Atleast there are ways to deal with the situation. Not soo long ago my old man died, and that cannot be controlled. Lately iv realised that yano gyno can be sorted so take advantage of that opurtinity.

My gyno is not as much of a problem now, any situation that can be controlled you should be thankful for. Currently have £1500 saved up, another £500 to go and im zipping of to Poland! Iv been saving for a while now. Im afraid you have to man up, and i dont mean it in offensive way i mean choose a path! Work towards it and be patient, yes it takes a while to save but that time lets you investigate any worries youl have!

Youv not mentioned any other problems, so im saying your life cant be that bad! And yes i can say it, not long ago i hit rock bottom and i still feel like doing myself in sometimes. But im here now writing to you!

Next time you feel like you dont wana live anymore, think hard about how you would do it and i mean hard, see how it makes you feel. At the end of the day youve posted quite a bit up there, that shows me you do want things to be better and you dont want out.. Yano i work on trains, my dad jumped in front of one. And not long ago i wanted out, and i found every time i feel like it i havnt got the balls to do it. And you know, that to me means i dont hate life enough to end it.

My jobs also at risk to, my girlfriend well isnt my girlfriend after two and half years. Nans dies this weekend. Im quite a sensitive person, make a plan! People on here will help and advice you, why?.. Because everybody hates gyno and it shouldnt be there!

Good luck mate

[Kvalhion]

First of all you should probably seek some help if you are feeling that depressed.  There may be more going on than just self image issues.. it could be a chemical imbalance that is causing you to feel so depressed.

The reality is that 99% of the time, you are way more paranoid about gyne than other people.   People like confidence and if you are always ashamed of the way you look, that will be more of a signal than the actual appearance.   I know where you are coming from.. its always embarrassing to reveal it the first time.   However in reality most people don't care that much.. its not a huge deformity or anything.   My wife didn't care and I was married 13 years.  After I lost about 75 pounds I started dating again, and my girlfriend now doesn't care either.  I have a pretty severe case, and I will have surgery sometime, but I've lived with it for 25 years.   Eventually I just want it gone.

I really struggled for a while trying to hide it.. jackets in the summer, wearing three shirts, always wearing button down shirts with pockets,etc.   Wearing a compression vest made a HUGE difference for me.. yes, it wasn't totally comfortable but it really did the trick.  I can wear pretty much anything and people really can't tell I have gyne.  I wear a vest daily.   Now the only difference after surgery that people will see is when I have my shirt off, which will probably still only be with my girlfriend anyway.  lol

If you feel like you need to lose more weight, just do it.  No excuses.   Research low carb, or Paleo Diet, or Primal Blueprint and lose the weight.  Watch documentaries on Netflix like "FatHead" and "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead".  They are pretty inspirational.

I am also in San Diego and I am also going to be researching surgeons.   Keep looking around and find one that is experienced and will do what you need.   Raise the money by any means you can or take out a loan.   If this is really making your life that miserable, just bear down and take care of it.  Tell yourself its only temporary but really go after it.  There's lots of success stories on here so you know it's more than possible to get rid of it for good.

Hope things turn around for you and let us know how you are doing!

[gyne_22]

Thaaankk you so much for your replies! Wod: Thank you soo much. Yes, I wear black all the time too. Honestly, I dont think its a chemical imbalance, I think im just frustratedly tired of dealing with it. Everyone thinks im this really happy person, which i always am. But inside, im freaking frustrated. Ive just been pushing a lot of friends away that's what making me so sad. But if I were to hang out with them, I would just be super paranoid and will get tired of being paranoid and just want to get the day over with. Right now, I want to push harder with working out. Try to lift more weights than cardio and hope and pray everything will  get better.

[Swarley]

Dude...I know exactly what you're going through.

I was 10 when my man boobs first appeared. I was in an under 14s swimming club, and trained 2 nights a week with about 30 other kids. There was this girl I really liked (in a 10 year old, I think she's cute and want to hold her hand kinda way).

But one night, while I was waiting to get into the pool, I overheard her and some other girls talking about how weird I looked.
That was the first time I realised I didn't look normal. I became so self-concious about it, I stopped swimming - which is a shame because I was good at it - I was the fastest swimmer in the club.

I only just made it through my teenage years - had a few close calls with suicide attempts, spent a lot of time in counselling, taking anti-depressants etc.
Had similiar experiences over the years with girls. Got so sick of hearing "lets just be friends".
When I turned 18, I left school, got a job & threw myself into work. I worked 12 hours a day, 6 days a week - always looking for a promotion, more responsibility, more work to do.

Work was a great place to hide.
When I wasn't working, I'd stay at home playing video games, watching dvds or sleeping all day. Most nights I felt down. Most nights I eat & drank way too much. I put on a load of weight & my man boobs got bigger. But a black suit hides a lot, and working in IT meant I didn't meet many girls, so I just forgot about that part of life.

I lost 10 years of my life hiding.

I'm 28 now, and I've decided to change my life. I'm working sensible hours & I've got control over what I eat.
I can afford to pay for a personal trainer at the gym, because having someone to hang out with & keep me motivated helps a lot.
I go to a kickboxing class a few nights a week. Screaming & shouting while punching and kicking the air is amazingly good at cheering me up - and the instructors give lots of encouragement which helps my self esteem.
I'm loosing weight (dropped 46lbs in 7 months, 6 inches off my waist)

My mood has improved. Even though I'm not working as much as I used to, people find me easier to deal with - probably because I'm not depressed and hung over.
My boss is so happy with the feedback that I've actually been given 2 pay rises in the last 7 months (without asking for them!).

My attitude is:
I'm going to die at some point - so all this is temporary anyway. Sure, I can end it sooner if I want, but I'm not going to quit without a fight. FTW!

[Paa_Paw]

Depression and anxiety are common to those of us who have Gynecomastia. But there is really no good reason why they should be a part of our lives.

The girls have their own issues and most of them are more attracted to the man who has a level head on his shoulders than are put off by a bit of surplus tissue on a man's chest.

Some people are very superficial, it is true. But most people looking for a life partner are more concerned about the inner person.

On a camping trip at a nearby lake recently my sweetheart wife came up to me and gently buttoned my shirt. We can't be showing too much boob here she smiled and kissed me. A girl like her is looking for you. Stay out in society so she can find you.

[gabrielsebastian74]

Dude...I know exactly what you're going through.

I was 10 when my man boobs first appeared. I was in an under 14s swimming club, and trained 2 nights a week with about 30 other kids. There was this girl I really liked (in a 10 year old, I think she's cute and want to hold her hand kinda way).

But one night, while I was waiting to get into the pool, I overheard her and some other girls talking about how weird I looked.
That was the first time I realised I didn't look normal. I became so self-concious about it, I stopped swimming - which is a shame because I was good at it - I was the fastest swimmer in the club.

I only just made it through my teenage years - had a few close calls with suicide attempts, spent a lot of time in counselling, taking anti-depressants etc.
Had similiar experiences over the years with girls. Got so sick of hearing "lets just be friends".
When I turned 18, I left school, got a job & threw myself into work. I worked 12 hours a day, 6 days a week - always looking for a promotion, more responsibility, more work to do.

Work was a great place to hide.
When I wasn't working, I'd stay at home playing video games, watching dvds or sleeping all day. Most nights I felt down. Most nights I eat & drank way too much. I put on a load of weight & my man boobs got bigger. But a black suit hides a lot, and working in IT meant I didn't meet many girls, so I just forgot about that part of life.

I lost 10 years of my life hiding.

I'm 28 now, and I've decided to change my life. I'm working sensible hours & I've got control over what I eat.
I can afford to pay for a personal trainer at the gym, because having someone to hang out with & keep me motivated helps a lot.
I go to a kickboxing class a few nights a week. Screaming & shouting while punching and kicking the air is amazingly good at cheering me up - and the instructors give lots of encouragement which helps my self esteem.
I'm loosing weight (dropped 46lbs in 7 months, 6 inches off my waist)

My mood has improved. Even though I'm not working as much as I used to, people find me easier to deal with - probably because I'm not depressed and hung over.
My boss is so happy with the feedback that I've actually been given 2 pay rises in the last 7 months (without asking for them!).

My attitude is:
I'm going to die at some point - so all this is temporary anyway. Sure, I can end it sooner if I want, but I'm not going to quit without a fight. FTW!

[/size]

Liked the last line, we are all going to die anyways, so go for it. I have had girls who couldn't stand the gyno and others that didnt care because they saw my value. The more ytou care about it the worse you get. I didnt say ignore it, do what you can to make your best self.
I know plenty of out of shape men and women who have no fear when they get out there even though they look way less than perfect.
Be fearless, fight off what you can. Video games and sleeping at home dont help. Make your best self. Man I wish I was 22. I am 36 yo, with my man boobs I have had about a dozen threesomes with two girls, am a member of swingers clubs, girls like the way I am.

Notice before 30 I didn't get any of that action. All it changed was frame of mind.
I dont play video games anymore, they are a substitute for playing the real video game called life.
It has no reset button and you get your own powerups.

Get larger arms, get a bigger back. The number one thing girls want is to feel protected and that you can communicate wihtough being a retard or sounding like if you have emotional and mental problems. Gyno is a mental problem.

And whats making you unhappy is not the gyno, its what girls are going to think about your gyno. I know, I am you, without the suicide attempts though and a little older.

using pills to substitute happiness? GO life some weights go kick some ass and just GO, once your dead its all done.

[LindaPhillips]

Depression is can be caused by any thing. You should consult with the senior doctor.

[tpuk]

Depression is can be caused by any thing. You should consult with the senior doctor.

- whom will promptly flick through his list of SSRIs without a second thought. has he checked if weight gain is a side effect, or gyne, or anything? does he give a shite about a guy with 'man boobs' when he/she knows the next patient has cancer?

Its like these drugs are the fxxking cure for depression & the fact remains that the data is cherry-picked BS, GSK just got sued for paying off generic seroxat production from a rival firm to maintain their biggest drug/income.

running/hiking/swimming are the only thing that help me - . depending on how much you feel comfortable doing them & your situation etc. When I had gyne bad I went out to the hills alone doing long hikes to stay in shape.... but thats not feasible for everybody/most.

GL - dont give up - ever. your not done yet.

[lurkin505]

You are not alone my friend. Believe me, every member of this online community understands your psychological pain. I am 26 years old now and almost two weeks out of surgery, if I could go back when I was 23 to do the surgery I would do so in a heartbeat. You are still a young man and have your whole life to live! Also, relationships come and go, especially when you are 22  ... I had a girlfriend and to this day a really great group of friends, they too would point out my man boobs and joke about it. Moreover, as much as I wouldn't let them think it bothered me, it did. Anyone who is not your friend because of a bodily imperfection is NOT your real friend. Do your homework and get the surgery when the time is right for you... I will say, it is the most liberating feeling a man could have. Not to rub it in but I really hope you and everyone else that has gone through this psychological imprisonment to find peace among themselves with having the procedure done.

Good luck and cheer up because life is too short...

[Alchemist]

I want to say something about depression.  I had mostly lifelong depression of a certain type.  Then 10 years ago I started methylb12.  The depression started lifting in 30 minutes.  As I added several other nutrients it went away.  A lot of us have genetic polymorphisms in the genes that allow using various types of folates.  Low active folate levels prevent proper utilization of b12 and that is almost always low too.  Its not so low that the tests scream it out but a person may have some dozens of "nonspecific" symptoms.  As these vitamins are instrumental in maintaining hormone levels and cell formation they affect everything.  Mood is one of the biggest.  It's not as easy as just buying any old brand since only a few brands are 5 star excellent and some don't work at all.  The vitamins can't and won't make the breasts go away but they can make the depression go away if it is physiologically based on lack of these nutrients.

The girls and ladies in my life have always been just fine with my breasts even if bigger than theirs.  It's the other guys who were bullies, presumably out of fear that they too could be "One Of Us".


When I got mashed in a car wreck with 3 fractures in my back at 24 suddenly breasts were the least important thing in my life.  It really changed my perspective.  That changed my life. I had been a professional skier and photographer.  Both of those ended that day.  I was already married to the girl who had founded the college nudist club.

Good luck and have fun

[gyne_22]

I GOT MY SURGERY! Goodbye depression! S So yes, I couldnt be anymore happy to say I got my man boobs removed. The story is, I got my surgery done in the Philippines. They have great surgeons there and I have amazing results. The best part, I only paid half of what I would have paid in the US. My mother lives in the Philippines and she talked to a couple surgeons there and she was also recommended by this one amazing surgeon that works with gynecomastia. I got the surgery done around May this year. Recovery was good except this one incident because during the first week, I got super bored and decided to go out with my maid to buy some grocery and when I got home, I found blood leaking and was rushed back to the doctor. Everything was fine though but it was scary. So life now without gynecomastia is such a blessing. My mind feels so clear and I sleep so much better now. I'm so happy and ready to explore this life now. Im so blessed to have such a supportive mother who realized the pain i was going through. Ive been going out more and started to see my friends again and new friends as well. Now I love to go shopping for new clothes.  I was reading my old posts when I was depressed and I just thought about how miserable life used to be. It was so sad and reading it motivated me now to do better. I decided to take advatage of school and other things I need to be doing. So to the people who have gynecomastia, there will be a light coming your way. Plan and save all the money you can and always be hopeful. Start planning because thats what I did and trust me, I planned like crazy. Good luck and god bless