Needing Encouragement

[LittleBob]

I honestly made a post earlier and was so nervous about it that I deleted it. I'm going to try this again...

Since middle school, I've always been a little overweight. I've had puffy nipples and my breasts always stuck out as far as my stomach. My weight fluctuates between the type of food my mom brings home to how active I am on the job. I'm 5'11" and currently 190lbs, close to turning 30.

Recently I've been noticing changes. Without going into full details, my breasts have gotten sensitive and they will bloat if my nipples rub up against something (even if it is just a minute). The experience isn't painful and is, in fact, really pleasant. I will need to buy some deodorant for all the sweat coming out of my armpits. I've also setup a plan to try and walk everyday in hopes to losing some of the weight around my 38" waistline.

I just don't want my family to start worrying about me. I've grown to accept (and perhaps even liking) my breasts, but I am afraid they might grow out of proportion. Is this a natural phenomenon? What are your thoughts on the matter?

[expedient-traveller]

Based on the latest surveys, at least 30% of the American male population has gynecomastia and the figures get higher the older we get. What is making us grow is in the water, air and food we all need.

All of us have firstly: tried to hide it in numerous ways. I tried with duct-tape once and only once; ace bandages work but are uncomfortable; gyne vests are used by some but are not comfortable; sports bras are a good way to compress the "guests" and are what I use mostly at least 16 hours a day; sometimes you just get fed up with trying to hide them and you just get support for them.

There are so very many of us who have breasts and we are here as support, no pun intended, so ask any questions you need. We are all in the same boat. Life is good no matter what!

[hammer]

As my friend said, there are a lot of us men that have breast and it's nothing to be ashamed of. I had gyne all my life and in my 30's had a vasectomy that caused me to lose my testicals and now at 57 I need a 46H bra to support my breast! But I'll tell you, that does not change who I am nor would it change who you or anyone else is!

I fathered 5 children and my 4th grandchild is due any day! My wife and daughters support me wearing a bra, my doctor told me that I should, and wearing one no more changes who I am then standing in the woods makes me a bear!

There are some men that can't deal with it, and there is surgery for them, and that is fine, but for some surgery isn't needed or the right thing to do.

This forum is here to help one another, and you can find that help you need! There is a lot of info in the acceptance section or just ask if you need to!

Good luck, and welcome to the forum!


Bob

[LittleBob]

Thanks. I was going through my old clothes in checking what fit and what needed to be tossed out. Before, I was only concerned with being a little overweight. Now, I've caught myself looking in a mirror while trying on a tight shirt thinking "So this is what women must feel like when they are trying on new clothes." I will admit I did wonder about using certain ways to compress my breasts including the use of duct tape and compression vests. It was then I chuckled when recalling the Seinfeld episode where Kramer was talking about using a man bra.

I've browsed the forums in hopes of seeing people's opinions on the matter. I definitely do not want surgery. Even if my family did start worrying about me, I doubt they would suggest that option. A lot of people have suggested using a sports bra. I'm still hesitant on getting those. Though, I do feel more comfortable out in public wearing my new double-breasted suit.

Honestly right now I'm a little concerned on why this is happening. I think knowing the reasons behind the matter would help put my mind at ease. I've read a ton of speculation on the Internet - anywhere from false pregnancy to aromatase to induced lactation. I guess I was wondering if there was a way to stop or even reverse the process. Even losing weight won't necessarily turn my body into your stereotypical male figure.

In the end, what matters for me is making sure my friends see me for who I am no matter what shape or form I'm in. I just want to make sure I don't embarrass them out in public.

[hammer]

Little Bob, you don't need to have the surgery, as that won't change anything but how you look! Having breast does not change who you are no more then standing in a garage will make you a car or standing in the woods will make you a bear!

I've have had breast my entire life! I served my country in the Navy 4 years active duty, Army Reserves 7 years with breast fathered 5 and have my 4th grandchild due anyday now! I owned 3 different buisness and retired due to disability from my own construction company with breast and now at 57 I wear a 46H bra for support! My wife and daughter support the fact I need the bra, my doctor told me I needed to wear one all the time to help my back and I have friends that know and understand and support it as well!

A bra is an article of clothing to support breast, and it doesn't matter if the breast are on a man or a women. The facts are men do have breast! We don't ask for them, but they do develop on us just as they do on women. Some don't want or can't have surgery, so support is the next best thing. This does not change who you are! Who you are comes from the man inside! You are who you are in your heart and mind, not your body!

You do what is best for you, not what others say you should do!

I always say, "I am who I am, and I'm not going to change just to please someone!"

And, " I Would rather be hated for who I am, then loved for who I'm not!"

Bob

[expedient-traveller]

Little Bob: I know what you mean by checking out your cloths before putting them on. Certain shirts are just a touch too revealing of the shape underneath. I have a great tee-shirt from my university that reveals all, but it is good for around the house.

As to the duct tape idea...DO NOT DO IT!!!!! I did and still have the scars from pulling skin off with the tape.

As to sports bras, there is one I have found to be comfortable as well as reducing the overall effect of having breasts. It is the Champion 6632. It compresses and supports, but it does compress what you have and sort of push it to the side. Nonetheless, it takes much and makes it smaller without crushing your "guests". I wear one 16 plus hours per day and once home I put a less restrictive sports bra on. They are for support and once you try it and overcome personal inhibitions, which we all have, and realize it is for support and is not a "girly garment" you will be happier for it.

In a slight side note: while at the bank I actually had one of the female bank clerks check out my chest. It felt a little odd but not too odd and I had a thought run through my head, "My eyes are up here." I chuckle at it now. While at work, boiler engineer, I have never had any snide or crass remarks regarding my breasts from any of the guys here. Some know of my gynecomastia and some of them have it as well...and really need to have a bra for support.

Life is good and we are blessed!

[TigerPaws]

Little Bob,

Try several different Sports Bras, if you are uncomfortable purchasing them in a brick and mortar retail store there are many excellent places on line in which to try different types, sizes and styles.

As several of the men here do, I wear both a compression sports bra and a regular bra depending on what I am doing. I also wear a sleep/leisure bra when I am lounging around the villa.

Getting over our societal programing that "Only women wear a Bra" is without question difficult. Once you get over the belief that you are doing something weird, unusual or that is not "manly, a whole new world of comfort will open to you.

As I all too often tell people, if you do not try you will never know. What do you have to loose?   

[expedient-traveller]

Sage words, Tiger Paws!

[aboywithgirls]

The courage comes from within but the encouragement comes from others.  My mom and sister were my first forms of encouragement. That's when I first heard the phrase "It's just a bra". It wasn't very comforting to a 14 year old boy. But as I outgrew my sisters hand me downs, I went to JC penny with my mom to buy some new bras for me. She put a few in the cart and went back to the men's department where a woman who was at the changing room told me the same thing, "It's just a bra" and "It's not a big deal, I wear one every day. " It took me a while to realize that what they were saying was absolutely true.  It IS JUST A BRA! I can't even imagine going bra less now. Most people I know look at it the same way.  Like hammer said "They don't think that I'm a car if I stand in a garage". Lol

[Jay55]

LittleBob, the hardest part for me was getting past the thought that everyone within 100 feet of me was staring at me. I'm sure there are a few people who have done a double take, especially now (I have large female breasts), but I decided it wasn't everyone, and I wasn't going to continue to feel like a circus freak every time I walked out my door. I tried a sports bra, but I just couldn't get used to wearing something that tight. It was uncomfortable and hot. But many men have no problems wearing one. I've thought about a regular bra, and maybe after my breasts stop growing I'll look into it. But right now I wear what I would wear if I didn't have breasts and go about my business. Yes, your breasts might "grow out of proportion". It can and does happen to some of us. For us at least, I guess you could call it a "natural phenomenon". It sounds like you accept your breasts, but are concerned about how much bigger they'll get. Talk with your doctor if you haven't already. You don't say if you're on any meds that might be causing it. Or it might be a hormonal imbalance. Whatever the cause, you seem to have already beaten the hardest part, accepting your breasts. 

[aboywithgirls]

For me, I guess it comes sort of natural to wear a regular bra most of the time. I've been wearing one since I was 14. By now, I figure that women  and bra makers have come together and figured out what works to support the girls. That's why I opt for a regular, under wire bra.  I wear a 38 G so I have to have an underwire for proper support. Most of my bras tend to be the shirt bras. I do keep a couple of lace cup bras for the hot days. I sleep in a leisure bra and work out in an encapsulating sports bra. I pretty much wear the same bras for the same reason women do. Why reinvent the wheel? There are some really nice, comfortable bras that fit.All we have to do is wear them and start being comfortable.

[expedient-traveller]

Aboywithgirls: Your last statement is a great statement: "All we have to do is wear them and start being comfortable." Simple and to the point. Why it is such an obstacle to overcome is a wonder. Those who have an attitude about men wearing a bra and considering it as only a female device for support obviously have no idea about us who must wear one. The loudest protestors are those who have never had to wear one. Long live support!!

[aboywithgirls]

There is also the flip side of  a the coin where a woman who has . almost no breasts is pressured into wearing a bra when there is no point to it.In this case it makes more sense for her to not spend her money or time trying to.find a 34AAA to wear because some told   her that she "needs" to wear a bra.

 While things have gotten much better for me over the years,  there was a time when I was made fun.of because I Had so much breast tissue that a bra was best option.

I am grateful that there had been so much progress made in the acceptance of men with breasts.  Elizabeth Dale has some great articles in her website,  Thebreastlife.com. She has done a lot of research and discovered that we're not so uncommon anymore.

[LittleBob]

The changes I have been experiencing must be hormonal in some regard. I'm not taking any medication and I've never had any type of surgery. I did notice that I developed a receding hairline about the same time as my breasts if I was to make any sort of connection. The feeling is quite unusual as if I have the need to breast feed.  Messaging the breasts has relieved some pressure but that might be actually contributing to some of the growth.

I do believe I'm more self-conscious about them than I make them to be. Loose dark clothing seems to help hide them. A part of me knows that pretending as if nothing is happening will help prevent any further undue attention. I have been spending the week with my family and no one has said anything. I like to think either they don't notice them or they simply don't care.

I don't think I'm quite ready for a bra. My mother would definitely then say something and I really don't like confrontation. I think I have more confidence walking through the bra section at the store than that. I will see what happens in the next couple weeks.

[Paa_Paw]

Sorry to oppose your viewpoint, but that figure of roughly 30 % of all young men or 1/3  has not changed in my lifetime.   I will be 78 in July.   

While I have no doubt that the chemicals that find their way into our food and water are not all in our best interest, the fact is that the incidence of Gynecomastia has not changed and we are living ever longer than our parents did.  Your can believe the liberal doom predictors if you want, but the proof is not there.   

The Name Gynecomastia was coined by a physician.  Specifically by the Greek Physician Galen.  That was a long time ago. Look at the art and statuary of ancient Greece and Egypt and you will see that the condition is commonly depicted.  King Tut had the condition.

The condition is so common that many medical professionals consider the condition Normal unless there is some sort of pathology involved.   At least it is normal for me and for a lot of other people as well.  I will agree that it is an embarrassment. but nothing more.