Bigger than Spouse

[steven618]

I have seen a lot of women say they'd be ok with gynecomastia as long as their significant other wasn't bigger than them. My wife is a B cup and I feel I will be as large if not larger than her at this rate, and am curious how many out here are larger than their spouse and has it effected the relationship?

[hammer]

I'm an H cup, my wife is a B one daughter is a B my other is bigger then me, I have no idea! She has had 3 kids and breast feeds! Her youngest was born in July.

Non of them care about how big I am and support me wearing a bra!

[dr.moe]

My wife is larger than me, but I've got more up top than my daughter - and it really bugs her.

[steven618]

How old is your daughter? I would assume there is plenty of time for her to grow. I also assume and apologies if I'm wrong cause it is all about comfort, but assume you aren't walking around in push ups and low cut tops, point being her anatomy is not an anomaly nor is she socially stigmatized to be shunned for having breasts 

[hammer]

As for me, my daughters are 27 and 25. The 25 year old is my youngest of 5 children and the only one of 4 living (my #2 son was killed in an accident at the age of 6 in December of 1988) to follow me as a Navy Veteran!

[dr.moe]

My daughter is 18, and she is an adopted Chinese girl. She is very likely NOT going to get bigger.  At least she has a sense of humor about it.

"Dad, by the time I have kids, there will probably be pills or shots, so would you take them and help breast-feed my baby so I can stay at work?"

Yeah -  no.  But I like the fact that she's got a sense of humor and knows when she can kid around with me and when she needs to shut up.

[steven618]

To hammer I am so sorry to hear of the tragedy so sad to hear. And although long ago I hope all is well. 
To moe God bless for humor. I image the possibility of becoming larger than my wife and seeing women with breasts a cup size larger or more than her and imagining the possibility and likely of being something like that given most women in my family are D cups and above...and thinking will this ruin my marriage will this create incredible insecurities for both of us if me the man has more bed at mass than her the woamn....it is something that haunts my thoughts 

[expedient-traveller]

Not married...yet, but I can use my sister as a comparison. She is a 32B/C and I am a 46 DD/DDD and it drives her nuts. My nieces are smaller than my sister but they have no problem with their uncle having "assets". I guess they are not as insecure as my sister. Such is life. Zei gezunt (Be well).

[hammer]

Steven618,
Thank you, yes it has been a long time ago! It happened a little over a year after Debbie and I were married  (2nd marriage) my 3 boys were from my 1st, daughters are with Debbie, and Debbie and I just had our 30th anniversary in August.

The accident happened while the boys were with us over Christmas vacation and it was a sliding accident. My X was already mad that I remarried and we had expensive court battles in the past about joint custody! So after the accident it was starting all over, but I decided not to put the other 2 boys through it anymore, as she was bad mouthing me like you would never believe!

So long story short I was estranged from my other 2 boys for 23 years! My oldest daughter made contact with the youngest son (they had moved out of state once they were able to legally) on Facebook and got us back together!

That has not turned out to be a totally good thing!  Being I was not involved in raising them in their formative years, the way they live their lives are no way near the way we (Debbie and I and our daughters) live ours! Of course it took time to figure this all out, cost us a lot of money, but it was good to find out how they turned out, for good or bad.

They both learned how to be users and manipulators from their mother very well, but I did set limits on how I let the reunion go, and not get overcome by glee that we were reunite and become a "sugar" daddy just incase of a 2nd heartbreak and loss of them, as my daughters feared may happen!

I know that this is one of those "off topic" cases but I thought I would use this time to explain to other readers that there are things in life that happen that make having breast so minor that you do forget you even have them! This example is one of them in my opinion!

If you read my story after all these years, in stories you may find other examples too of why I don't care!

[hammer]

I should add that we are still in contact with each other, but I'm very careful not to be "had" by their sad stories anymore of why they need money or other things, and why the one can't hold down a job, so he stays living with his mother and not moving back to Minnesota to freeload off of us, lol!

They think because we live the way we do, that we have the things that we have, we should also be providing the same for them, not going to happen!

[steven618]

It is truly sad when people come back in to contact with others of family especially after a bad situation like the custody issue and negative ex spouse's that cause such a friction filled scenario, that people expect to receive any gift other than love, communication, and eagerness to reunite. Of course if humble, sincere and genuine i wouldn't have an issue giving gifts and providing for things if I was able to but in your situation I definitely w ouldnt so I applaud your strength in not doing so. Idk how you live or how it compares to the norm but kudos on you and the man you are and father and husband you seem to be. 
I definitely agree other things can be much worse than developing significant breast tissue to where it is legitimate breasts in shape form and fashion, but seeing my wife's breasts and seeing mine near her size and to be growing still I often wonder if anything is worse to her which is my insecurity. I can't imagine the shame on her face or mine if it got to a point that I needed help with bras or if it became daily routine with her knowledge of her husband wearing a bra. 

[hammer]

Well, as I said I set limits!  Like me both of my boys weld, and I have 3 welders and cutting tourch set ups in my garage, so I did buy them each a new wire feed welder figuring I missed years of birthdays and Christmases.  One I gave my portable touch set when I got my new one. The older I got his truck all fixed up and 2 pair of new glasses as his were 10 years old and he had not been to the eye doctor either in 10 years! I also did plenty of smaller things for each as needed over a 5 year period, all costing money, as I was putting out my money for "important needed" stuff, they were using theirs for toys, I found out later.

We are conservative as I've been on disability now for 20 years this March however, my wife is an accountant, and I get Social Security disability and disability from Veterans Affairs as I'm also a disabled veteran so financially we do just fine! The boys think because we live good we should be helping them live good too! That is why my oldest son thought that he was going to move in with "Dad" and Dad and wasn't going to make him work either, but he found out before he moved that he was so wrong! He is very healthy, just lazy! Some of the people who know both of us say I get more done by 7AM then he does all day and I am disabled!

Both of our daughters are self supporting. The youngest does live in the mother-in-law apartment we have as part of our home but she pays rent for it! We have loan them both money and they have payed back what was required to be payed back!

The oldest and her husband are now looking at selling their home and buying a different one as he has changed jobs and all we'll do to help is grandma (Debbie) will watch the grandkids, and I'll be pulling a trailer with our 2016 2500HD Chevrolet Silverado, it's what I pull my toy hauler camper with. Do I love that truck, 8 foot bed that never needs to be made and a back set area big enough to darn near put an air mattress!  Still love my dodge to get around town but not near the truck the silverado is!

Sorry for the rant, I'll stop now, I feel much better! Lol

[dr.moe]

I definitely agree other things can be much worse than developing significant breast tissue to where it is legitimate breasts in shape form and fashion, but seeing my wife's breasts and seeing mine near her size and to be growing still I often wonder if anything is worse to her which is my insecurity. I can't imagine the shame on her face or mine if it got to a point that I needed help with bras or if it became daily routine with her knowledge of her husband wearing a bra.

We had some issues with my gynecomastia (before the issue of a bra came up). I'm not larger than my wife (thankfully), but still, it's been a bit of a challenge for her.  Part of how I dealt with her insecurity was to focus overall on her sexuality, like really paying attention to her breasts and kind of ignoring mine. Not letting her touch them and so on. I emphasized the fact that on her, breasts are sexy, and I really like them.  I did NOT ask her to touch mine or anything - but focused instead on her femininity. I think that put her mind at ease that I wasn't competing with her, that I wasn't focusing on my breasts, that I love her for her. Around the house, I'd de-emphasize them a lot - loose shirts, never topless, and so on. For a while (and this wasn't deliberate) I wouldn't let her see me topless or showering or anything. Now it's not an issue, but it took a while for her to get comfortable with the fact that I have breasts, too.  When I had my first mammogram, I asked her to come with me for emotional support, as it was potentially embarrassing.  I guess what I'm saying is that in my case, I made sure she knows that she's attractive and sexy to me, and that I'm not competing in the breast area. I made sure she knows that I'd rather not have them, but I'm dealing with it and I need her support.  Plus we were having counseling for other issues, and the subject of my gynecomastia subject came up and we discussed it at length.  Now? Suffice to say she likes having another area to express interest in cuddling.

Now as to the issue of me having to wear a bra?  That's another discussion.

[hammer]

I have always had the attitude that breast were for feeding babies and all my kids were breast feed as well as my grandchildren  (the 3 that I see all the time) with that idea breast were never about "sex" with us I guess so it wasn't as big of a deal. I wish there was a "magic" answer for you to help your wife understand that you are not growing breast to compete with her, and that it's not like you took a pill to grow them either, but now that you have them you need to be comfortable with them!

[chestyoldman]

My breasts, at 38 B, are WAY smaller than my wife's, and since the women in my family are small-breasted, I doubt that I will ever get even close to her size. However, my breasts are a lot perkier than hers, and by the way she kids me about having the breasts of a 13 year old girl, I think she has noticed that. As to whether or not it bothers her, I don't know because we haven't talked about it. She had a lot of trouble accepting that I wanted to start wearing a bra, but I think now she has gotten used to it. She still lets me know, though, that she prefers seeing me braless in a Tshirt. I don't know if that is because she still prefers that I not wear a bra or if she just likes the way my little boobs and hard nipples look.