Starting to accept

[SGTG]

Howdy y’all!  I am so glad I found this forum. I was recently diagnosed with gynecomastia at age 34, due to some meds that caused some imbalance in my hormones. I’m currently about a 40 A/B, but I expect that to change. It was a hard diagnosis to hear at first, but I’ve started to accept it, and it explains a lot of other problems I’ve been having like back pain, nipple sensitivity etc.  My wife has been supportive, encouraging me and even buying me my first bras. However, currently she is only comfortable with me wearing sports bras. I’d like to wear regular bras as it seems that they give more support. I tried on an underwire bra and it was comfortable and supportive but my wife said it was too weird for her at this point.  I’m hoping that she’s will come to see a bra as just a piece of clothing and not a female only garment soon. 
Anyway, that’s my journey thus far. I’m looking forward to learning a lot on these forums as things develop!

[hammer]

Welcome to the forum, and we are to to help in anyway, so if you have questions just ask!

Bob

[Johndoe1]

Welcome! I think the biggest surprise to you might be that wearing a bra for support and comfort is no big deal. We have been psyched to think that having breast tissue and having to strap on a bra to support that tissue somehow reduces our "manhood" and makes us some kind of "shemale". Quite the contrary.

 I have been sensitive about my breasts since a teenager when I developed gynecomastia and was bullied and body shamed. I was sure EVERYONE knew I had boobs and wanted to make some snide comment and unfortunately, many did. After many years of adulthood,  I finally came to terms that I had breasts and they were a part of me and I when couldn't remember a time when I was flat chested, I decided the hell with it. I donned a bra and immediately saw, and felt, the benefits of being strapped into a bra. The comfort of being supported and contained gave me an unexpected boost in confidence. For the first time since the girls budded in junior high school, I finally had control over them. I controlled what they looked like, how they moved or didn't move and the chafing I had had for years disappeared. I have been wearing a bra everyday since. For me, it is something I wish I had done years ago.

Full disclosure, not everyday is peaches and cream wearing a bra, particularly in the summer months! But at this point, I would rather put up with the inconveniences than go back having the girls run wild. That is not a feeling I want to revisit.

[SGTG]

Thanks for the kind words. So far wearing a bra has been very comfortable and had helped a lot with some back pain. As I am not that developed yet I haven’t experienced a lot of the problems that others have, like chaffing. One of my biggest concerns is people at my gym noticing my bra when I work out. I do CrossFit so we tend to sweat a lot, and I admit that I’m pretty self conscious about someone noticing my bra, especially since two close friends work out with me as well as my wife’s boss who is also a friend. I know I shouldn’t feel this way, I should be able to do what’s right for my body and health but I still find myself not wearing my bra to work out and just putting it on when’s I change. 
I’m sure some of y’all have dealt with this too, when a friend notices do you normally explain your condition? Or just shrug it off and kind of ignore it?  I’ve thought about telling select people but that also makes me nervous. 

[SideSet]

Welcome.  You are really doing well in accepting your breasts and your wife is, too.  So good that you wish to wear bras and even better that your wife supports and has even gotten bras for you.  I can understand her wishing only sports bras for you at this time.  At this time, is the key, because if she has come this far already, with time, she will go all the way to understanding you have the same bra wants and needs she has.  And you clearly already have those wants and needs.

While you are limited to sports bras, I suggest you only wear the encapsulated style and stay away from compression.  Compression will not be comfortable for daily wear, as your breasts will get squashed too much.  Here are a couple sports bras that come in your size, 40 B, you might like:

https://www.justmysize.com/shop/justmysize/glamorise-sport-wirefree-bra-18943?fromFacetResult=true&categoryId=21179


https://www.justmysize.com/shop/justmysize/glamorise-underwire-sports-bra-gl9066?fromFacetResult=true&categoryId=21179

[SideSet]

Just so you know, the cups on Glamorise bras tend to run large.  The sports bras I mentioned, though, in my previous post separate, lift, and shape, as opposed to compress, breast tissue, so in my view are more comfortable, and good examples of the types of sports bras you might wish to show your wife you prefer.

[aboywithgirls]

Welcome and congratulations! Having breasts are not the worst thing in the world. Over half of the population has them and wears a bra. We are a special group that is part of that larger group. I grew up with my boobs. I've had them since puberty and I have been wearing a bra for just as long. 

[Johndoe1]

Sideset is right about the compression bras. For all day wear everyday, you wear them as they should, very, very snug, since the flattening is the only support, it can injure the underlying glandular mammary tissue and then you have a real health condition. 

Encapsulation is much healthier because the cup forms around the breasts to give support of the tissue like a regular bra and the encapsulation keeps the cups from moving but be sure the bra doesn't cause any discomfort around the breasts. 

As far as what I respond to depends on how I am asked. I have found the least you can say, the better. You never know how someone will respond. Keep it medical sounding and usually that is good enough. Something along the lines of, I have a medical condition dealing with hormones that is messing with my body right now. 

How you dress will also determined if you get asked or not. Dress to NOT draw attention to your chest and always be confident. That's I do.

[hammer]

As far as what you tell people about why you are wearing a bra, that is totally up to you! I have never been asked, and being a 46H I'm sure I've been noticed, but I do tell people that are close to me that I do wear one! My wife and daughters not only know but support it, and my son in law knows as well and so does other members of my family and friends.

As others will tell you, you may come to a point at some time down the road that you really don't care what others think! For some it is the comfort they provide as Johndoe1 has said, for others, you get to a certain age, as some of us are seniors. I was one of them like ABWG'S that had breast as long as I can remember, but I don't remember ever having a problem with them until I was in my 30's and lost my testicles and they grew like well watered weeds!

As a person that had them for so long I did all the things in life one can do without letting them get in the way. I served my country, owned by own construction company until I had to stop working because of disability,  fathered 5, now a Grandfather.

Those bumps on your chest only get in the way if you let them! Don't let them control you, you control you! As others have said, having them or wearing a bra doesn't change anything about who you are! Even though we all have grown a larger chest, put a bra on to support breast for comfort doesn't change anything about who we are, we are still the same men were 20 years earlier, just a little slower and older, lol!

[SGTG]

Johndoe, thanks for the info! I will bring that up and maybe convince the wife to let me get at least 1 regular bra. 
As of right now the only people who know about my condition are my wife and dr. I haven’t told the kids, and certainly not any of my friends yet. I may try wearing a bra to my CrossFit gym in the near future, though as my wife pointed out, you can definitely see the back and side fat roll outline that comes from wearing a bra. I’m going to try different ones to see which is the least noticeable. 

[Emcginty]

Johndoe, thanks for the info! I will bring that up and maybe convince the wife to let me get at least 1 regular bra.
As of right now the only people who know about my condition are my wife and dr. I haven’t told the kids, and certainly not any of my friends yet. I may try wearing a bra to my CrossFit gym in the near future, though as my wife pointed out, you can definitely see the back and side fat roll outline that comes from wearing a bra. I’m going to try different ones to see which is the least noticeable.

Look at Shefit sports bras.  They go up in sizes and look like a vest not a true bra.

[aboywithgirls]

As far as what you tell people about why you are wearing a bra, that is totally up to you! I have never been asked, and being a 46H I'm sure I've been noticed, but I do tell people that are close to me that I do wear one! My wife and daughters not only know but support it, and my son in law knows as well and so does other members of my family and friends.

As others will tell you, you may come to a point at some time down the road that you really don't care what others think! For some it is the comfort they provide as Johndoe1 has said, for others, you get to a certain age, as some of us are seniors. I was one of them like ABWG'S that had breast as long as I can remember, but I don't remember ever having a problem with them until I was in my 30's and lost my testicles and they grew like well watered weeds!

As a person that had them for so long I did all the things in life one can do without letting them get in the way. I served my country, owned by own construction company until I had to stop working because of disability,  fathered 5, now a Grandfather.

Those bumps on your chest only get in the way if you let them! Don't let them control you, you control you! As others have said, having them or wearing a bra doesn't change anything about who you are! Even though we all have grown a larger chest, put a bra on to support breast for comfort doesn't change anything about who we are, we are still the same men were 20 years earlier, just a little slower and older, lol!

Absolutely Hammer! We control our breasts! Well sort of. I wear a bra that controls my breasts. However, I am in control of wearing my bra which puts me in control. 

I decided a long time ago that wearing a bra was the best thing for me. I felt better physically and mentally. It actually lessened the attention. 

[Johndoe1]

That was the revelation I came to when I started wearing a bra that for the first time I had control over my chest. I could say how the girls looked and how they moved or didn't move. I gained confidence I never had before. I wish I had started wearing a bra sooner. 

[Athena12@]

HI and welcome to the BOYS WITH BOOBS club.  Nice to see you here.  I'm 70and did not get mine till around 66/67 and by them "Who cares".  I just went about my business until the wife said I need a bra and so here I am.

[aboywithgirls]

I was developing about the same time as the girls my age were. It was a suggestion of my grandmother and mother to start wearing a bra because it was clear that I had more than the run of mill gynecomastia. I only wore a bra part time for the first few years. When I turned 16, my mother started getting after me to wear my bra all the time. I told her I would if I could have some bras that actually fit. I was wearing my sister's hand me down bras and I had outgrown most of them.  I remember going bra shopping with her for the first time at JCPENNEY.  I was fitted and was a 34C. To put it in perspective my mother was a 36B. I clearly got my boobs from my father's side.

It was after I was fitted, I learned how a bra was supposed to feel and it was definitely worth it. To this day, I get fitted for 95% of my bras. A well fitted bra is so important for comfort and support and for the bra to do the job its supposed to do.