Looking for advice on what to say if your support garment is noticed

[JKing]

Hello. I am new to the site. I have been lurking and reading posts for a while.  I am older and have been diagnosed with gynecomastia.  The breast have been growing for a while, but it hit a point where I had to admit it to myself and discuss it with my wife and my doctor.  So I have had a mammogram and been checked for liver issues and all is good. Just a bit of andropause causing a hormone imbalance. 

Well, I have hit a point where support is required. Just going up or down stairs quickly is very uncomfortable, almost painful. So I got properly fitted at a local shop. They were fabulous. The lady that helped me understood what I needed and wanted. So we found several styles, all which are almost undetectable under a shirt.

Here is my question to everyone. For myself, and I am sure others, I am brave enough to wear a bra daily but not brave enough to just outright say to other and coworkers that I am wearing a bra.  Now, my little white lie I am planning on using is that it is upper back support/bracing. Being a helicopter pilot, back issues are common enough I think most will just accept that answer. So for those not brave enough to say; “yeah it’s a bra”, what have you said to dispel concerns or end the conversation? How have people reacted to your statement? And, do you think it worked?  I am especially concerned with my Father-in-law as he is becoming a bit of an old curmudgeon.

Just reading all the different posts and topics has been a great help. It has helped me come to terms with the issue. And it also made me realize just accepting my lot was a better choice. I was so stunned by how many people were disappointed with surgery.

[Dale Warnio]

So glad you have come to terms with it, as you said.  I believe you will feel best and find it simplest just to say the truth: you have gynecomastia. 


When you got fitted, what was your bra size?

[taxmapper]

That is something you will have to figure for yourself. 
For me personally, I don't really hide it, but don't flaunt it either and if "busted' I just simply say, 

"So...What of it?"


it usually stops there. 

[JKing]

Dale - Thanks for your support. We measured up, but found the cup size had to go down a bit. So depending on the company I am a 44A or 44B

Taxmapper- I am glad to hear that you usually can stop a conversation with a “so what of it” retort.  I am concerned though as the industry I am in is almost exclusively type A personality men and women. Many won’t back off until they have a satisfactory answer and saying so what is going to invite more confrontation.  

[blad]

Giving a definitive answer is likely better than just telling them to flick off. An answer indicates a reason and a deflective response may imply a fetish and leaves things to their imagination.

And a response takes on two forms; a definitive yes I wear a bra for enlarged breast support or some other crafted reason such as a back brace. If you have some obvious breast tissue than a crafted excuse may not really fly anyway and they will remain suspicious. Sometimes nothing but the truth really works. 

[JKing]

Thanks for the input Blad. I like your train of thought. Similar to what I am thinking. 

Right now, with the right bras I am able to pass for someone who likes to pump up the chest with weights. However, if I keep growing that might get difficult. 

[Traveler]

So far so good for me about people asking. I’ve always been a little bit chesty though. Wearing a button down shirt with a darker pattern has really helped now that I’m larger. It obscures the bra and the breasts, especially when I’m wearing a minimize. A little uncomfortable so, as soon as I get home I put on something more comfy. You may never grow bigger and can just scoot along.
If someone asks I tell them I’ve developed gynecomastia from meds I need to take. Good luck!

[MarcoB]

I post very little here because I'm not one of the larger men who can share bras with their wives.  Breast growth does not need to be advanced though to bring soreness and irritation in certain activities; and although I don't need a bra to prevent wide eyes looking at my bouncing, I definitely need one for comfort.

I have tried very hard to hide my bras, by wearing shirts with contrasting stripes of varying widths like in the picture below of my wife and me, and dark plaids like Traveler mentioned, and so far, no one has shown any evidence that they've noticed my bra which I've worn every day for the last two years.  If someone were to ask though, I think I would tell them I have a bit of gynecomastia, and say, "Imagine you had a little rock in your shoe.  It's really small, so you could just bear it if you're in a situation where it's not acceptable to take your shoe off and empty it out, and you might even be able to forget about it for short periods of time, depending on what you're doing, but then the irritation comes right back, and you can't wait for an opportunity to take care of the problem.  That's kind of what it's like.  A bra brings relief."  I have not had to try this on anyone yet, but hopefully it would get their understanding and sympathy rather than their condemnation.  Family would be the worst.  I recently got a Hawiton sports bra in XXL which looks more like a vest than a bra, and I'm anxious to try it out by going out for a jog after dark in hot weather to see if the sweat imprint it leaves on the back of a T-shirt would raise any suspicions.

[Johndoe1]

For me, it has depended on who was asking. If it was someone whom I didn't know, I took the tone of their voice to formulate the response. If it was one of ridicule, I usually turn the tables say some wiseacre answer back. If it is a tone of curiosity or information, I would say I have an endocrine medical condition that has my hormones messed up and that usually works. If it is a woman, they usually don't ask if they don't know you, but will give you some type of silent recognition such as a smile or similar and I will return with an approving smile myself.

My male friends usually don't say anything or even notice and if they do they don't say anything. If it is a female friend, they very rarely ask and if they do, it is more curiosity. But if they know me, they have usually seen me braless in the past and will know why. But in those rare cases I will say I have a medical condition called gynecomastia and do they know that that is. Most of the time they do, but when they don't I say it's hormonal imbalance of estrogen and testosterone in a man and one of the effects is breast growth and sometimes breasts large enough to require support. That is usually enough.

[JKing]

JohnDoe1, MarcoB, and Traveller - Thanks for more input and advice. I am working on the wardrobe to help hide things.  I have found with the right bra selection, it doesn’t take much.  Fruit of the Loom pull over light sports bras are particularly good at being discreet. But other similar and more structured bras seem to work as well. I found the fitted ones from the shop stay put better and I don’t find myself adjusting them as often or at all.  

[curiousk]

After a year and a half of wearing a bra, I haven’t had anyone ask me if I’m wearing a bra or what’s going on.  At first, I was careful to wear dark colors with a shirt that was a size larger.  Now, I don’t care if anyone sees my straps, hooks and anything else.  I don’t advertise it, but I don’t hide it either.  If you look at my pictures in the photo section, I wear shirts that show that I’m obviously wearing a bra because the smoothed shape of my breasts.  I can’t hide 42C breasts, but i can control their movements and appearance.  
If someone asked me if I was wearing a bra, I think I would answer them honestly if they were genuinely interested.  Not sure what I’d say if the approach to me was derogatory. 

[JKing]

Thanks for your input curiousk. I do believe it is unlikely I will even be bother. But I can’t help but be a bit nervous at this stage. 

[Evolver]

Thanks for your input curiousk. I do believe it is unlikely I will even be bother. But I can’t help but be a bit nervous at this stage.

I'm also nervous. Although I'm not at the stage where I actually need to wear a bra on a daily basis, I am almost constantly stressed out about what the future holds for me. I have a medical condition that will sooner or later result in a set of circumstances that will probably result in me growing from my present A cup pseudo gyne moobs to something far more substantial. It just so happens that I am used to occasionally wearing a bra, mainly for fun, but in the past year or so I have come to the firm realization that wearing a bra will be more necessary for me than what it is now. To that end, I have been wearing one more often lately in order to get used to it, and to gain confidence in public. I am slowly going through the process of treating bras as a tool rather than as a desire.

Regarding acceptance, my wife has always been ok with my kink, but now understands my concerns for the future. She has been 100% included in my condition. Even so, a few months ago she was unaccepting of my desire to wear a bra full time on weekends which I wanted to do to slowly build my own confidence of wearing one in public for when the day comes that I actually need to. But now, it's ok, maybe because we've just begun winter here and a bra is more easily hidden under layers! This weekend saw the milestone (if you could call it that) of me wearing one while driving - the sensation of feeling the hook/eye closure against the car seat was something that I never thought would be one that I would notice. The bra I was wearing was truly invisible under a t-shirt and hoodie and it did give me confidence that I got away with it in public, so that's a win as far as I'm concerned. In a few short months the weather will warm up again and my mind is at the stage now that I'm ready to wear a bra in public under a loose black t-shirt and not care. But, I'm not ready for anything beyond that yet.

Through this forum and my own experiments, I am slowly becoming more comfortable with the concept of not caring what others think if you are 'made.' For me, it is all about confidence. If you wear a bra full time and you keep it hidden for now, surely there will come a time when it doesn't matter any more.

To answer the original question in the thread title, I would say that I had a medical condition, no different to chemo making your hair fall out.

[Traveler]

Through this forum and my own experiments, I am slowly becoming more comfortable with the concept of not caring what others think if you are 'made.' For me, it is all about confidence. If you wear a bra full time and you keep it hidden for now, surely there will come a time when it doesn't matter any more.

To answer the original question in the thread title, I would say that I had a medical condition, no different to chemo making your hair fall out.

I think that’s a stage we all continue to go through. The getting “comfortable” wearing daily part. It’s been 10 months since I finally accepted that there’s really no longer a choice of daily bra wear for me. I spent three years before that experimenting with pull overs and compression tees. A well fitting bra does the best job IMO and really isn’t that noticeable. That being said, I still occasionally have my doubts but haven’t had a single person say a word to me about it, and I’m a DD! We are our own worst critics. I can’t walk by a mirror when out and about without checking my profile out and thinking “dang, who can’t see that”? Yet, they don’t. Every day will get better. 👍

[GrahamB]

For me, it has depended on who was asking. If it was someone whom I didn't know, I took the tone of their voice to formulate the response. If it was one of ridicule, I usually turn the tables say some wiseacre answer back. If it is a tone of curiosity or information, I would say I have an endocrine medical condition that has my hormones messed up and that usually works. If it is a woman, they usually don't ask if they don't know you, but will give you some type of silent recognition such as a smile or similar and I will return with an approving smile myself.

My male friends usually don't say anything or even notice and if they do they don't say anything. If it is a female friend, they very rarely ask and if they do, it is more curiosity. But if they know me, they have usually seen me braless in the past and will know why. But in those rare cases I will say I have a medical condition called gynecomastia and do they know that that is. Most of the time they do, but when they don't I say it's hormonal imbalance of estrogen and testosterone in a man and one of the effects is breast growth and sometimes breasts large enough to require support. That is usually enough.


That is a fairly complete answer. I did not know the G. word until recently. I was confronted with the G. word when I wanted to know more about what was growing on my chest so I googled MOOBS.