Oh, I hate my parents

[anonymalaysian]

I tried talking to my parents about my gyne problems - the second time. They didn't even bother to listen - all I wanted to do was see a doctor to confirm my worst fears (deep down I still hope it's pseudogynecomastia).

Instead? They started tearing me apart. I believe it was my father that call this problem "silly", and I'm getting worked up for "no reason". Apparently, too, I'm supposed to work out - funny, I have been doing that since I was 16 and there was absolutely no freaking changes (I told them that). This is the second time talking to them about this problem - the first I explained what it is.

I'm so depressed - I started binging a whole lot, eating far more than usual, and I started prefering to stay at home and started to be quiet, and since the talk all I could do is watch TV or something - to get my mind off it. Then I realize something when I was feeling miserable in a family friend's house for Chinese NY - I'm depressed. I recognized the sympthoms.

I just have no one to turn to. My best friend is in Singapore, another best friend in New Zealand, another in a city down south - Malacca. I just need to vent.

Plus, I'm already going through studies problem - I'm taking the world's second hardest university entrance test (right after Japan and just before South Korea) and I just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I've been through hell because of this problem, and the taught of living in college in 8-person room dorms next year just doesn't entice me.

I was originally hoping to do a surgery after my test, but now it seems that it shall not come to pass. I don't know whether I can stand it - I've been spending the last four years doing everything possible to fix my problem and when I finally found the sole solution, it seems so out of reach again.

[jc71]

After reading that, I hate your parents too  .  You said you've been working out since 16 and going to college next year so I assume you're 17 now. Your parents are looking at this as older adults and not as a 17 would. Gyne is probably more devastating (i'm assuming) when you're a teen than it is as an adult.

Have you even seen a DR. yet?  You're 17 or 18, get a job and start saving my friend, especially if mom & dad aren't supportive.

Binge eating, that's my favorite. Food has caused as much trouble in my life as I suppose drugs and alcohol has for others.

Can't  you pick up the phone and call your friends in Singapore and New Zealand?

Worlds hardest entrance exam? I had gyne when I took my college entrance exam, fortunately for me it was for community college. Probably not the "world's hardest"

[rcbrown23]

I say point them to a computer and let them read a few posts on this site. Minor problems may look normal to parents, but that is not the case. Gynecomastia caqn effect some of the strongest people in the world MENTALLY. This is where it is hard for others to understand. Any doctor that knows anything about the condition knows that it can be very damaging on the inside, not just the outside.

I have a minor glandular problem that my parents excused and acted a lot like yours did when I tried to tell them YEARS ago. Because of them not paying attention to how much it affected me, I stopped going to them for any advice/counsel about anything that bothered me. That was 10 years ago.

IF they don't want to listen---Fukk them. Do what yo have to do to get it done. Your old enough to make an appointment on your own.

              -Brown

[vaio]

Wait until you are 18. Go to a plastic surgeon. He will make the diagnosis of gynecomastia. Show parents the paperwork. Try to get them to help pay for it. If they refuse, get a job and save. Its no big deal and nothing to get all worked up about.  

[heartbrokenmom]

I feel so badly for you.  My son has Gyne.  Is it possible to tell your mother alone how you feel.  Could you show her this site and let her read some of the postings.  The pain and hurt that everyone goes through may show her more than anything.  You don't say how old you are but if you are under 18 you probably need their permission to see a doctor.  Perhaps you could go to the doctor and have him or her run tests on you.  If they are not correct, then you could show them to your parents.  If they see something medically not right, they may start to realize there is something really wrong.

Good Luck.

[Cuttin Headz]

wow dog. ya just like me.
my rich mommy and daddy my dad's a doctor and so is my moms, they both don't give a f*** about my f***ing titts. they tell me its just fat, and they tell me to go lose weight, but what the f***? how is a wetback spick like me supposed to get girls with my glandular rolls? the gland is there! after i finish high school and finish college, ima get the surgery myself. i mean, i lift enough weights, and i am a happy person with lots of good friends aside from my bitch titts, but ima cut them off because they make me feel like my mom.

go ahead and find out if insurance covers it. if it does, shove it down ya parents throat. if not, ask RZA and GZA and the rest of the wu-tang clan to cut them off.

by the way, how come users such as cruz and blatino still allowed to post here? they both get their jollies off guys.

[anonymalaysian]

You said you've been working out since 16 and going to college next year so I assume you're 17 now.

Uhm, no, 19. Malaysia practices a British-style system, only we are half a year late (thus following a Australian timetable). The level I'm doing now is the equilevent of an American Associate Degree or Diploma.

Can't  you pick up the phone and call your friends in Singapore and New Zealand?

They are back down for CNY (thus no free time :-)) but I just can't talk about it. Especially after the two people I trusted most did that.

Worlds hardest entrance exam? I had gyne when I took my college entrance exam, fortunately for me it was for community college. Probably not the "world's hardest"

Imagine taking all your Comm. College tests in one go after one and a half years and that marks make out 100% of your total :-).

vaoi: I'm 19.

heartbrokenmom: My mom is no better. She is the stereotypical Asian Christian - this is a big no no, apparently, for her.

Bubby_the_Tour_G: My insurance mainly covers if I get bang right outside school or if I start puking blood and find out that I have cancer. This is pretty much elective - the breasts doesn't pose much of a problem unless I wear a T-Shirt or don't wear any.

i.e. Psychological (which is also where my mom bitch, she goes "If nobody teases you, you wouldn't be ashamed of it, right? So we should pray against the Spirit of Taunting!").

[anonymalaysian]

Just to add on, before my equilevent of my high School Diploma (something like the British O Level - the SPM), I planned to go back to school to do the equilevent of the HSC (STPM) - the predecessor of the A Level, I wanted to have a flat, oh well, taunt-proof chest. I spent my 6 month holiday working to that.

It failed. And going to a new school (few schools offer STPM), I know I can't take it, especially when I have to move out of my house.

Nervous breakdowns are pretty common in my family - my uncle, the skinny ol' lad he was back then, had it when he was taking his HSC (before it was Malay-nized into STPM). I have more on my plate, I don't know if I could juggle it.

[Cuttin Headz]

well, then, for now get a compression vest, specifically the Underworks 997 Vest which works great fo me. http://www.underworks.com/996.html  my mom is a wetback mexican christian, but she believe in surgery, but not plastic surgery. once you are done with that college bulls***, you can go ahead and get a job and earn money. As for going to the beach, well, go anyway. who cares if they make fun of your rolls? I don't give a f*** anymore.

since yo from malaysia, it is a good country for breast surgeons and cosmetic surgery so i read on the BBC
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/2524665.stm

[anonymalaysian]

My school uniform is a skimpy white cotton shirt... compression vest may not be the best solution.

[Oppositions]

well.. first of all i know why ur parents didnt care.. it is the same why my dad didnt really bother.. is that..
it is cultural thing,i mean.. the man isnt really with his look it is his manner so whether he has semy boobs, gyne or not, it isnt really an issue..

thats why really..
it such cultural far east, people work hard for their survivale etc etc , for a man to have gyne, it is not the the issue that they pay attention for, it is trivial.. aand that was the case with my family as well.. so i had to do everything by myself really!

[headheldhigh01]

it's tough, but i think i can understand (not agree with) their response.  part of it's a natural human aversion response to their own fears:  if you can talk it away, it doesn't really exist.  they don't understand it, they don't want to deal with it.  if you can reduce it to size, explain it has a name, explain it happens to lots of people, it's more manageable and not so intimidating.  so printing off internet info could be a pretty good idea.  

depression is normal for gyne, i had it / have it bad too, although discovering this site and removing the mystery helped a lot.    

congrats on tackling your exams with all of this and good luck.  i'm sure they're harder than what i took, but if you study for it, i bet you'll do great.  

[anonymalaysian]

headheldhigh01: I did all that. It just doesn't work with them. All I asked was not even for plastic surgery but just to see a doctor to confirm my worst fears (well, they probably listen to a doctor better too..)

As for removing the mystery... well, I don't know whether that helped. It's like knowing there is a cure for the misery you have went through for years, and yet knowing it many, many years away for me. That's depressing.

[Paa_Paw]

There are many issues in what I have read here but I'lll try to at least hit some of the high spots.

At the age of 19 you should be able to see a Doctor without permission of your parents.

Under a lightweight white shirt, a vest that is white would be quite obvious, one of a color that matches your own skin color would be easier to conceal.

You do not really want a doctor who will confirm your worst fears. You may have an extreem case of gynecomastia, a mild case, or you may be body dysmorphic and have nothing.  You are looking for a Doctor who will examine you and render an honest impartial opinion.

Back to the vest, Malaysia may be too tropical for a vest to be a practical choice.   Since this site is used world wide, you should be able to get climate apropriate advice if you persist.

Why do you think there is even a possibility that it may be just Pseudo-Gynecomastia?  Are you Obese?

Don't be too hard on your parents, I would presume that the really do love you and either they do  not see a problem or you are having difficulties convincing them how you feel.  It could simply be a communication problem and nothing more.  Try to state your concerns in a different way.

Regardless, stay in touch until you have some kind of resolution  of your situation.