1984
I was born
1989
When I was five I somehow knew I was gay, my pre-teen years went as normal as any one could have.
1995
At eleven years old I started developing gynecomastia, it took one comment from my uncle during a swimming session about how big my breasts are for a man, I got cut so deep that I have been avoiding swimming or going shirtless in public ever since. I am forced to hide my breasts by hunching the shoulders and wearing layers of shirt, I felt that I am hideous and I have been self-conscious and ashamed of myself ever since.
1995 Due to financial problems my parents started a new business, while it brought more wealth to us over time, it also caused my parents to spend less time with me. I did not take this transition well because I needed their guidance more than ever before at this time of confusion and I felt that they have emotionally neglected me. Given how poor we were I knew they had no choice.
1998 I got my internet connection
1999 In an effort to make this gynecomastia go away I started lifting weights and exercising, although the rest of my body became fit my gynecomastia didn't go away.
1999 Towards the end of the year at mid-fifteen I became a porn addict. With me home alone, with parents obsessed with business, with very low self esteem and with the unlimited porn I discovered from the internet - it is the recipe for sex addiction. My values deteriorated, I no longer cared about doing my home work. Masturbation was used to cope with life.
2000 At 16 after a track-record of good grades and always being in the 'cream of the crop' throughout high school, my internal crises finally begins to take its toll. My grades started to drop towards the end of high school but I was able to graduate, barely.
Throughout high school I dreaded PE classes, I walked and sit hunching the shoulders in an attempt to hide my breasts. The more self-conscious I become the more people notice it. Because I think I am an oddity, I only got a few close friends. This self-consciousness about my breasts occurred everyday, it was torture.
2000 It was this time that I found out about gynecomastia from the internet but I was not ready and too afraid to have surgery. I went to an endocrinologist to have my hormones checked and found out that my testosterone level is normal. Nevertheless, I took testosterone pills thinking that my gyne is the cause of low testosterone. Although the testosterone pills made me grow more huskier nothing happened to my gynecomastia. It did not grow bigger but it remained the same size as it were before so after about half a year of taking testosterone I stopped completely. I did all these without my parents knowing because I was too embarrassed to tell them and they are too busy to care about my needs beyond material and food anyways.
2000 My sex addiction is in full swing and it is this time that I started having one night stand with numerous people. Sex is my only way to cope. I started college at this time.
2002 I dropped out of college.
2003 I have taken an interest in investing.
October, 2004 Hit rock bottom. I had for the first time had unprotected sex with a partner of unknown status (the condom broke) I am scared to death, I will be taking a HIV test in 3 months to see if I am positive or not. I completely stopped any sexual activity in the mean time. Depending on the results it will affect my plan for 'Self-Restoration' in the near future. I have identified two major problems in my life - Gynecomastia and Sex Addiction. I have decided to get rid of gynecomastia first before I can stop sex addiction.
Topic: A Chronological History Of My Life (Read 12927 times)
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