surgery fear

[tony_ss]

my pics here:
http://picasaweb.google.com/robertgreens/Latest?authkey=cxsvuCh3IaE
I am 30 now.. living with gyne for the last 14 years..
Have postponed my surgery several times in the last 2 years..in fact scheduled my surgery and cancelled it.. one reason is  some unknown fear which keeps me away from surgery... other reason is I feel I don't have  a disease that needs surgery..
I just don't realise that this is cosmetic surgery..
I know getting it operated could solve my problem.. but I can't...

every time I visit this site, it hurts me ..it's bcoz I am still living with gyne..
now a days I am continuously thinking about this problem.. I am dying guys.. for what I live.. to suffer so much for no fault of mine...
 am already under depression.. if this continues, am afraid whether I will get some mental disease..
guys, has anybody postponed surgery due to fear or the other reason ? is this a common problem for everybody? is it very specific to me?

[Vonsteelo]

Dude, don't be ashamed man! i almost got the surgery 5 years ago. Put a down payment and everything. I canceled it because of the money and also the women were showing me all types of love even with the gyno. I just had lipo done 5 days ago, Ive put on sum weight in the last 5 years and my gyno got worse. Don't be worried about surgery, it will only improve your self esteem and that is worth overcoming the fear don't you think?

[skyhawk]

"Those who do bold things win. Those who watch others do bold things lose"  I like that quote. Go for the surgery. 

[tony_ss]

thanks guys.. I am wondering if anybody else has postponed/cancelled surgery due to fear or any other reason other than money...

[runamillionmiles]

the hardest part for me was going to different ps consulations...admitting the problem that you kept hidden for the most part of your life and admitting this information to a complete stranger...and everytime ive gone to a consulation the ps has always had an assistant with him, that just happens to looked like some girl from FHM magazine...kinda makes me feel like a jackass with moobs thats shirtless in front of a hot girl...after a couple consultations i became fearless...if its a change you really want, i think you will find a way to do it

[tony_ss]

that's true runamillionmiles. every time I  meet some doctor to discuss this, I feel hurt.. i thought I would rather live with it then show it to somebody:(.. it's very difficult to believe that I have this:(..
i just realise that may be that's one of the strong reasons why I am unable to go for surgery.. may be subconsciously am just refusing to admit that I have it..

[Paa_Paw]

The issue for me was not one of fear but that this type of surgery simply had not yet come of age.

The decision is not an easy one to make. There are no clear right or wrong answers. You are fortunate to live in a time when there is a choice.

Some men live with Gynecomastia and some have surgery to reduce it. The decision is personal and you should not allow yourself to be pressured either way.

I'll soon be 71, surgery is not for me. Had the surgery been available when I was in my twenties you'd better believe I would have had it.

[jackson318]

the hardest part for me was going to different ps consulations...admitting the problem that you kept hidden for the most part of your life and admitting this information to a complete stranger.

Just to echo what everyone else said, I had the same issue with actually going to a doctor and saying out loud that I wanted the surgery, then to actually take off my shirt and be felt up?  I first looked into the surgery back around 03, but never had the nerve to even call for a consult to even get a ballpark figure on how much it would cost.  Even after I found a couple of doctors to call, it took a good two weeks before I got the nerve to call one of them to schedule the appointment.  During that call, I could hardly speak and was blushing throughout.

But just finally doing it feels so much better.  Even if you don't have the money yet, and will need to save up or whatever, just to get it out in the open with a doctor to get some validation is a great feeling.  If you can share it with a friend, that is great too, if it's one who understands.  Luckily, I had one friend who understood since her ex-husband and son both have a mild case of it.

that, and now two months post op, I couldn't be happier.  You don't really realize how much it's affecting you until it's gone.

[runamillionmiles]

During the whole process of ps consultations to eventually getting the surgery i tried to remain cool and whenever i felt fear, nervousness, whatever... i would try to push in the back of my mind and think about my ultimate objective...the roughest part of the whole process is when your laying on bed with a hospital gown waiting for you surgeon...cause you just want everything to be over with...its kind of emotional...all the bullsh** you went through your whole life will be over with in a matter of moments...then the anxiousness, emotions, and tensions peak as the sedatives kick in...you start to smile and you feel goofy...and then you wake up with warm blankets, food, and juice...

you just have to set the date, man up, and do it...and dont look back
do you think you fear is something else and not necessarily the fear of surgery

Paw Paw is right...just be blessed that you have a choice

I should also take this time to thank Paw Paw...i noticed a change in my gyno...and posted the details asking for advice on what could possibly going on with my body...Paw Paw..gave me the most straight foward advice, he said your gyno has changed in size and is causing pain, both valid reasons to go see your doctor, and so the next day i did...my docter said "you have gynecomastia, you should get that taken care of"...he got my insurance to cover it and set me up with a great surgeon thats only 10min away...and i was prepared to finance my surgery to some guy who was 3 hours away...Thanks Paw Paw for saving me a lot time and money

[Grandpa Bambu]

may be subconsciously am just refusing to admit that I have it..

Yeah, it's tough to 'admit' to oneself, and the rest of the world that there is a 'problem'. Just like an alcoholic... the toughest thing to overcome is that they are, in fact, an alcoholic... Once you get over that hurdle, you're on your way to recovery! 

GB

[rashdudes]

yeah... come to think of it Gyne is such a common problem; that most doctors (including my Endo)
advised that surgery was not necessary (atleast for mild to moderate cases). But what they don't understand
is the psychological side of the coin. Hell i could live with breast implants if i had a psychological switch that
says 'ON-Its ok' / 'OFF-Its not ok'

[Paa_Paw]

What anyone else thinks is not the issue. How you feel about it is the only thing you need to consider.

[tony_ss]

Thanks guys for your advice..
Thanks Paa_Paw.. you really gave good advice..
GB,
I am not sure if you can compare a person with gyne to an alcoholic...
gyne is something that u didn't develop.. but in the case of alcoholic, it's your fault..you developed that  habit..
probably u misunderstood me.. I know I have gyne..
my point was only in subconscious mind I am not convinced that I need surgery...

[Grandpa Bambu]

It's very difficult to believe that I have this .   I just realise that may be that's one of the strong reasons why I am unable to go for surgery.. may be subconsciously am just refusing to admit that I have it..

GB, I am not sure if you can compare a person with gyne to an alcoholic...
gyne is something that u didn't develop.. but in the case of alcoholic, it's your fault..you developed that  habit..

Gorn, I am not comparing Gynecomastia to Alcoholism. I am just stating that your situation of 'refusing to admit you have it' is the same as the alcoholic not reaching out for help and remaining ill....  The first step in recovery is 'admitting to oneself that there is a problem'. 


P.S. In the case of alcoholism... IMO, you are wrong. I believe that alcoholics are born with the disorder. IMO, it's not the fault of the sufferer for being an alcoholic, it its however, the fault of the sufferer for not accepting/admitting the fact that there is a problem and being unwilling to 'fix' it. However, in defense of the inflicted, addictions are very difficult to overcome.

GB   

[tony_ss]

I think every person has their own viewpoint.. I don't  want to argue further .. I have a lot of respect for GB, paa-paw and other seniors.. they are doing a great job by helping us.. thanks ...
I still myself don't know the exact reason for postponing or avoiding this surgery.. it could be even due to my laziness.. am such a lazy guy.. or may be i am an introvert..  probably i am feeling that i am not going to see any difference after surgery..since anyway am not going to take-off my shirt..
or not sure bcoz doctors delayed it iniitially
when i first though about my surgery.. i was like wanted to get it done ASAP.. but my endocrinologist delayed it by almost a year.. he suggested estrogen blocker.. then i tried this.. another doctor asked me why not try the another medicine.. at that point, i started thinking about non-surgery alternatives.. why not exercise.. then somehow scheduled the surgery.. but i failed on the first attempt.. i thought about the negatives too much.. like about recovery period, concerns about marriage after surgery. things like that..
tried one more attempt .. pushed myself so much.. but failed again..
i have totally lost my enthusiasm on both surgery and life.. feel like an loser today..