Author Topic: I'm at an all time low right now.....however I'm so relieved to find all of you.  (Read 10644 times)

Offline srnd2012

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Hi everyone.  I'm from Canada and I've struggled with gynecomastia since I was 14.  I turned 29 a couple weeks ago and I've never felt more lost and alone than I do right now.  Before puberty I had a decent build and had many comments by classmates about it, at the time it felt great.  I played a lot of sports growing up so I was very active. Looking back I would say I was living the good life. Full of confidence... Then that all changed.
In ninth grade I noticed I was forming extra tissue around on my chest. At that time it was mainly just that my nipples began protruding out.  I didn't know what the cause of it was, I slowly began to feel insecure about it. I knew it wasn't because I was out of shape, since I wasn't. Other kids in school didn't seem to have this, why did I???  I played hockey all my life and in my last few years right up to senior year I would not shower after the game until I went home. 
Moving on to the last 10 years.  The condition got worse. I don't just have puffy nipples, I have much more fatty tissue and it has been a major psychological weight I've been carrying.  I know I think about this problem 24/7. All of my decisions revolve around my chest. Right now I wear everlast undershirts under my clothing, have been since I was 19.  Sometimes I even tape my nipples to reduce the visibiliy when wearing shirts.  I mainly wear button up shirts that have 2 pockets on the front. I will not go swimming anywhere...so the summer months are hard for me.  If I am faced with a situation where I need to remove my shirt I am forced to turn away and give myself nipple twisters to avoid them looking as bad. It sounds funny but I'm sure many of you have done the same. I have worked out so much over the years, but right now I have lost my motivation because nothing I did ever made a difference, in fact the more a tightened up my core, the more my mboobs stuck out.
About a year ago I met a girl who is now my gf and we are just about to go on vacation.  I recently told her my issues and she just doesn't understand it. I guess that's good that she sees through it. We do love each other very much, I still wish she was more supportive.  We can't even have sex naked. I always leave my shirt on. She has made comments about it. I want to cry every day.  Some days are better than others. But I am living in a dark place. I must admit though that letting others know about my problem helped a bit.  About 2 months ago I broke down in front of my parents. They are 100% behind my decision to get surgery.
I saw my family doctor back in the 2nd week of July, he then sent me to see a Endocrinologist.  I saw him and he agreed surgery would be the best solution.  My testosterone level is a bit low, but not the cause of my gyne.  I am now awaiting my first consultation with a PS that I researched. I know this is good news and I should feel better, but I guess its darkest just before dawn right?
I don't know where I was going with all of this, but I want to let you guys know that I'm so thrilled to have found this site and share our stories. It's nice to know I'm not suffering from this alone.
I attached a couple pics of my problem for you to see.  I am a bit out of shape, approx 10 lbs overweight right now. 
thank you all

Offline Paa_Paw

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Welcome

Your story is familiar. Most of us have similar stories to tell.

If your girlfriend is truly the person you say she is, she will understand and accept you as you are. Most of us have found that the women in our lives are seldom concerned about our breasts. This is our problem, not theirs.

All the same, I understand. Overly modest styles of dress are common among us.
Grandpa Dan

Offline srnd2012

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Thanks Paw Paw     Yes you're right.  I know my gf loves me for who I am.  Nobody understands what we go through unless they are experiencing it first hand.  It's really sad to be a victim in your own skin.  For years I just tried to cope with it, but I'm just too damn tired of thinking about it. It occupies my mind and it's time to clear my head.  Right now I'm more than willing to spend 5-6 grand to change my life for the better. 
I have a question though.  Having looked at the photos...do you suggest I get both excision and lipo?  I was told I just have a mild case,  but I don't want to take a chance and not be satisfied.


Offline xelnaga13

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Thanks Paw Paw     Yes you're right.  I know my gf loves me for who I am.  Nobody understands what we go through unless they are experiencing it first hand.  It's really sad to be a victim in your own skin.  For years I just tried to cope with it, but I'm just too damn tired of thinking about it. It occupies my mind and it's time to clear my head.  Right now I'm more than willing to spend 5-6 grand to change my life for the better. 
I have a question though.  Having looked at the photos...do you suggest I get both excision and lipo?  I was told I just have a mild case,  but I don't want to take a chance and not be satisfied.



If there's fat and gland... lipo and encision is the only solution.

Welcome to the forum! Sorry to hear about your current state of mind, but Im happy to hear that you have a support system around you who is aware of your struggle.


Offline srnd2012

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Thanks Paw Paw     Yes you're right.  I know my gf loves me for who I am.  Nobody understands what we go through unless they are experiencing it first hand.  It's really sad to be a victim in your own skin.  For years I just tried to cope with it, but I'm just too damn tired of thinking about it. It occupies my mind and it's time to clear my head.  Right now I'm more than willing to spend 5-6 grand to change my life for the better. 
I have a question though.  Having looked at the photos...do you suggest I get both excision and lipo?  I was told I just have a mild case,  but I don't want to take a chance and not be satisfied.



If there's fat and gland... lipo and encision is the only solution.

Welcome to the forum! Sorry to hear about your current state of mind, but Im happy to hear that you have a support system around you who is aware of your struggle.



Thanks for the advice.  I was also thinking both.

Offline Paa_Paw

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I sometimes make a point of avoiding the Photo entries.

The reason is very simple. Size and appearance actually have little to do with the emotional impact of our condition. Some guys with very small breasts are greatly impacted while other with larger breasts seem to have little emotional problems as a result.

How bad your condition is depends upon the emotional impact and has nothing to do with size.

Surgery is the only way to diminish the size of the breasts. The usual approach is to use Liposuction for overall shaping then finish with excision for refinement. Instead of looking for one kind of treatment or the other, look for a cosmetic surgeon who frequently performs this kind of procedure and let the surgeon decide what to do.

This kind of surgery is sculpture. Just as you would not think it wise to try and tell Michaelangelo how to sculpt marble, you would not think of telling a surgeon how to do his job either.

Monkey83

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Go to your family doctor, the surgery is covered under provincial health care. Get a referral to a plastic surgeon.

Offline TheEnglishOne

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So sorry to hear bro, your story is like most of us here. Some days i just sit there and get upset for a while trying to understand why everything bad happens to me , why do i get braces, why i get gyne, why do i get glasses? i just realise that life is S*** and thats it. You have tremendous support here from everyone, so we will be here for you when you need us to be.

Granted i am in a similar situation to you but i am 17 and have only had it for 1 year and a half. But i used to take part in district county running events, relays but stopped after i realised i had breast englargement

Offline TigerPaws

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Gentleman,

Breast enlargement is not the end of the world, you will not die from gynecomastia. Some men can deal with it and some can not, how you handle having or developing breasts is up to you. Acceptance comes from self confidence, no one can make you feel bad about yourself except yourself. Surgery is always an option but be careful because if you convince yourself that cosmetic surgery will solve you problems you are sadly mistaken. Fix the issue in-between your ears and the rest of your perceived problems will come into perspective.

For you younger men, I understand your need to be accepted by your peers and the ladies. If you are strong enough you will soon learn who are your "true" friends, the same goes for the ladies, if she is a loving caring, intelligent woman then she will accept you as you are for who you are. Ignore the self centered stuck-up bitches, finding a lady is a numbers game, the more you meet the greater your chances of finding one or more winners. Generally if you are kind, intelligent, witty, generous, romantic and passionate finding the kind of ladies you are interested in fairly simple. While the occasional bimbo is fun for a few weeks, having the ability to share experiences, build new memories together and hold an intellectual conversation will last far longer the a few fun romps.

 

Offline Xavier

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^Do not follow the above advice.

It is extremely dangerous for young guys to not have surgery. There is an acceptance forum for a reason where people who have accepted this deformity talk to each other.

Offline TigerPaws

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^Do not follow the above advice.

It is extremely dangerous for young guys to not have surgery. There is an acceptance forum for a reason where people who have accepted this deformity talk to each other.

Sir YOU may have a "deformity" that is your opinion not everyone's. I and millions of other men are NOT deformed. You are attempting to spread your own personal prejudice and disinformation.

A man can either accept or find a way to deal with gynecomastia, the choice is his. But to say people like myself are "deformed" is prejudicial and bigoted.


Offline xelnaga13

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^Do not follow the above advice.

It is extremely dangerous for young guys to not have surgery. There is an acceptance forum for a reason where people who have accepted this deformity talk to each other.

@ Xavier- I am a post surgery gyne sufferer, and I find your post nothing short of offensive. Relegating the members who share nonsurgical opinions to one section of the forum is detrimental to the forum as a whole. Remember not everyone can have surgery for a plethora of reasons. Furthermore, surgery is NEVER perfect, so even surgery guys eventually have to accept their condition.

Reading several of your posts I sense some anger. I wish you peace and happiness.  

hammer

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I have a question?

Do these people that think that a male that is bald is deformed as well? After all everyone has hair at sometime after birth!

I am one of the men that God did not make bald, but he did give me large breast, some guys he gave small breast and bald heads, and yet others he gave both. Wow , would you call that a double deformity?

Offline Xavier

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^Do not follow the above advice.

It is extremely dangerous for young guys to not have surgery. There is an acceptance forum for a reason where people who have accepted this deformity talk to each other.

@ Xavier- I am a post surgery gyne sufferer, and I find your post nothing short of offensive. Relegating the members who share nonsurgical opinions to one section of the forum is detrimental to the forum as a whole. Remember not everyone can have surgery for a plethora of reasons. Furthermore, surgery is NEVER perfect, so even surgery guys eventually have to accept their condition.

Reading several of your posts I sense some anger. I wish you peace and happiness.  

Thanks for the peace and happiness but I am not angry. I just do not think it's right to tell young guys to accept their condition.

hammer

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Don't you think if one can accept something and move on, that makes them stronger, and more prepared for other challenges in the future?


 

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