My Gyno story

[richmass]

It all started when I was around 12/13, before then I was an ordinary slim kid with a skinny body, at that time I started eating too many bacon baguettes in the school canteen at lunch (LOL) so I put on some weight, when I lost it due to growing, I still had moobs, at first I still used to walk around the house with my top off etc, and my mum and dad used to think it would go away, but when I got to about 15 I was really thin, and it was worse than ever. I had been going out with girls and doing stuff with them for a while, but i'd never taken my top off etc, and I was doing alright in school and had a few friends. I had also looked it up online and was sure it would go away on its own. I started going out with the most popular, gorgeous girl in the year below by some stroke of luck. At first it was great but as the time went on my confidence got lower and lower because of my chest, she was perfect and I wasn't. I told her as we were really close and she was so, so supportive. But I eventually fell out with her friends due to me not wanting to see them etc, because I was so unconfident. The whole situation ended with us breaking up and about 200 people sending me hate mail, making death threats to me etc, and every night I would look in the mirror and hate myself. At about 16 I was still in the same situation, feeling like shit, pining after her and not moving on, all of the while knowing my condition wasn't getting any better. A few months before I was 18 for some reason, I got motivated, I still had quite a few good friends and although I didn't attend many of the events held, due to my problems, we were still pretty close. One day at work at my part time job, my friend says, "Hey, seeing as you never come out, and I never get to see you out of work, why don't you be my gym buddy?" And I was like, you know what, yes mate.

 Obviously it is embarrassing when you first go, you're weaker than everyone else, have no idea what you're doing, and to top it all off you're wearing far too many layers than is appropriate and you're sticking out like a sore thumb. But I guess the testosterone started to make me man up a bit, because soon after going for a month, I noticed some decent improvement, and as you all know, nobody notices more than the guy checking every day and night aha. This gave me confidence, and it started to affect other aspects of my life, I dropped out of A levels, because I knew I wasn't taking it seriously enough, and went to college to do a trade. I was nervous, but after a week or two everyone was tight. The gym was going well, and my gyno had receded, I went from wearing 5 layers out to 4, then 3, and now 2. I can now do around 100 push ups in a row, and do so every night, my body is really toned and I can honestly say I would look great if not for the gyno, but it's getting better. I feel more of a man every day, not just in my appearance, but in my mind. Things in my life are looking up, and I'm really happy.

I had went to my GP at 16, and told him straight, showed him and allowed him to take pictures, my parents were really supportive but as it's the recession we don't have the funds to pay for the op ourselves, so we were relying on the NHS, after a while we got a letter saying i'd been declined due to budget cuts, and should reapply. I thought then that my life was over, but now I feel semi normal for the first time in a while.

It looks like the exercise is going to beat it off eventually, but if at some point it stops improving, I guess i'll have to reapply. All I know is, if you're sitting there feeling bad, try to do something about it. A lot of the people on these forums are overweight, and I can understand why it would be easy to slip into that. But you can't let this ruin your life if you haven't done every possible thing to combat it, get in the best shape of your life, and use all of that energy thinking about your condition, into fighting it.

There are still bad points, my condition fluctuates, and sometimes it's easy to think it's not getting better at all, but I stay positive. I'm still missing out on a lot, like lads holidays etc, but i'm using the time i'm spending sitting around for doing constructive things that don't make me uncomfortable, working, learning new skills, and trying to set my self up for a brilliant life ahead. Everything seems so bleak, but you must never give up, I've had it as bad as any, cried myself to sleep, felt like it was all pointless, but progress is addictive, and I feel as if conquering this will give me the power to do anything, and if it all works out, will make me a much better person than I ever would have been.