New and thinking about daily wear

[Phockey10]

Hello all, I stumbled upon this forum while doing research about bra wearing for gyno.. I've dealt with gyno most of my life, and in my mid 20s i found that I could fit into bras from experimenting. Well I am 33 now and the past couple years I have had some soreness from from excersize and bounce at work. I've considered bras in the past but couldn't get over the stigma of being a guy who needs to wear a bra. I do carpentry for work and sweat a lot so that also has played in my decision. Well after some debate and talking with my wife, I've decided to try wearing a bra. The wife is being supportive of it. We measured me here in the house, and I come up between a 38C and 40B. She went shopping with me and we got a couple basic soft cup underwire from Victoria secret,  and just ordered a couple molded cup on sale from Bali. The 38c VC fit very well and very comfy, but the Bali is same size and I little tight in the band. May have to go to a 40C. I'm glad I found this forum to let me know im with like minded men

[brock123]

Not sure how to reply here. If you are looking for "acceptance" with your issue, congratulations, and we're here for you to help however we can.  It sounds like your wife is providing all of the (pun intended) "support" you need and honestly that is about 95% of the battle.  I'm a strong proponent of "you do you", and having a significant other that is not only ignoring any gender stigma(s) here but is instead buying into your situation and helping you out is VERY cool of her.

Are you looking for another level of acceptance from other men, or is that step a foregone conclusion and at this point and you are comfortable in your skin and looking for garment advice?

[blad]

I long ago discovered I was much more comfortable wearing a bra daily, and fortunately have a supportive wife as well.

Whether I wear a bra or not, it is obvious I have a larger chest. I do not thing a bra makes me look any more obvious and may in fact give a better profile. I also feel my clothing choices keep the visibility of my bra quite minimal unless some one put their hand on my back. So given that there is minimal downside for me to wear a bra I may as well enjoy the daily comfort improvement I have with wearing one. 

I think you may find a similar result. 

[Dale Warnio]

Sounds like you definitely need to wear a bra.  So good your wife agrees and is helping you start building your bra collection. You should go in for a bra fitting and try on

[Johndoe1]

Welcome. There are MANY, MANY males who wear a bra to support their non traditional male chests. You are not alone. The best advice is get educated on sizing and fit of a bra. The saying that 80% of women wear the wrong size bra is absolutely true, and not all bra sellers are knowledgeable. It's a garment that is totally misunderstood that 50% of the population wears and has no idea how to wear it. It's a garment that can not only emphasis your chest, but can also tone it down, all depending on the style of bra. An ill fitting bra is very uncomfortable and can drive you crazy and is more easily spot able. A proper fitting bra will feel a bit snug around your ribs at first. That's normal. Eventually you will find that is a good sign. It needs to be snug as possible, while still being comfortable to wear over long periods of time. What many people don't realize is the band around your ribs is doing 80% to 90% of the supporting. The strap is for maintaining the vertical position of the bra on the body and to keep the cups in the proper position to hold the tissue. The bra should fit like a second skin not be overly lumpy, bumpy and hanging. If the cups are wrinkly or your tissue is bulging out, you are not wearing the right size bra. The bra should not create additional bulk under your shirt. Also, new bras should hook on the farthest set of hooks. This allows longer usage of the bra as the band stretches, you can move to the next set of hooks to maintain proper support.

There are many on line resources. One that is highly recommended is the bra calculator at A Bra That Fits Reddit. It's much more truthful than some stores who only want to sell you what they have in stock and not what you need. http://abrathatfits.org/calculator.php This is a case where information is your power and is a great place to start to be sure you are wearing a bra that fits and does what you need it to do. Knowing your breast shape is very important as well. There are so many different styles and not all styles work for all bodies. Knowing your breasts shape will help in picking bras that work and do what you need them to do. Most men are wide set and shallow and large root, meaning their breasts sit apart and have most of the bulk under the nipple and the base of the breast bigger than average. I personally wear a 36DDD/38DD depending on the bra, but I don't have the projection those sizes make you think. That is because most of my tissue is close to the body, but it is a spread out mound. Plunge styles and balconette styles are mostly styles that fit men better. But like with women, you have to try on a bra to see if it works. Bras are a trial and error thing if you want the best fit and appearance. This is an interesting video about bras and fitting. Great primer. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrxJ-9_qXeM

I have been wearing bras for years now and I wouldn't want to go back unsupported again.

Welcome to the club!

[Traveler]

Welcome! So glad your wife is onboard with finding you the support you need. I went far too many years without proper support for the same reason as you. A guy wearing a bra? Unheard of! But just like you said found this site and it changed my mind set. I wear daily now with no one the wiser (mostly). I have gotten a few women squinting at my chest or an outright smile when they figure it out. 99.99% of the people don’t notice at all though. I’m a DD so if I can do it you can definitely go about your day with none the wiser. Good luck!

[Phockey10]

Thanks for the info! Because of the wife's support, I am comfortable wearing at home,  and on the weekends running up to the grocery store,  but still struggle with wearing one on a daily basis to work. I need to find a better shirt option while at work. Doing carpentry it is a typical light t-shirt only setting, and freak out that my co workers will see it. The few times I've known I'm working alone I have worn it all day at work and found great relief when needing to swing the hammer or running up and down stairs. My back and chest just feels better at the end of the day being in an underwire..  im just slowly building the courage to not care what coworkers think so I can be comfortable all day. 

[curiousk]

Welcome!!  I echo what the others have said.  A well fitting bra fixes your problems with having breasts.  John summed it up nicely.  Find a proper fitted bra and don’t be ashamed to wear it.  I had developed breasts at 11 years old and should have worn a bra years old.  I’ve been wearing a bra for a year and a half, I’ll never go back to walking around with unsupported breasts again like I did before.  

[Bosh808]

I've been following this tread since it started, so I decided to share a brief overview of experience so far. I my self is in my thirty's and so far its been an interesting experience. I first felt and warn a bra in my mid 20s from a dare and I was drunk. But waking up in the morning and still wearing a bra defiantly opened my eyes what it felt like to being support. Fast forward to my mid thirty,I've picked up a few pounds. also I've always had problems with soreness from my chest area my at times my chest would jiggle and was irritating. That's when I took it more serious. So I started experimenting around and did some research, also did a fitting at macys once and got and idea where I should be at.

Officially I've been wearing a bra pretty much about 75% of the time and lately about almost full time unless I really have too. And that is if I really got too, thats how comfortable I am with it. In fact, I hate it when I'm bra less.

As far as wearing in the public, that's a whole another animal. Took me little while to get used to that. I felt like it was flashing the world but that fear went away with time and occasionally wear a sleeveless shirts in public with maybe a part of the straps showing. My incounter with women has been
surprisingly positive. Some thinks that is cool seeing a guy wearing a bra. I'll explain my reasons and alot will agree with me and say that they love wearing a bra, which also surprised me as well.


As for recommendations, my bra of choice is lightly padded underwire t-shirt bra or demi bra. They hide well under most shirts and there purpose is an every day all bra. It might take some use too wearing all day but sounds like your ready to take on the world.

To me, I look at a bra as a tool, and its a tool thats correcting a problem. It's purpose is for support and it doesn't matter if your female or male, its primary function is a tool. I'm at the point that there's no turning back and I'm in it for life.

[brock123]

Phockey10, while I don't think I can ever personally relate to your experience to date and you may indeed be too "big" for this option, but I'd like to point out that there are some "men's" compression garments available out there.  I don't believe that if you are indeed rocking a true female "C" cup and filling out female-targeted bras at that size these would probably make things worse, but ...

Underworks and Spanx make/sell some pretty good stuff that works for men.  I've found that Underworks does a better job at hiding/compressing the tissue to the point where you won't care (but it will hurt!!), and the new Spanx For Men stuff provides a decent male appearance with less discomfort.  I played tennis for about 3 hours in the new "Spanx for men" garment under a T-shirt with little to no discomfort or any apparent "notice".  My wife indicated that I looked more like I had "somewhat fatty pecks" as opposed to "boobs" when I asked her about it, but she was in on it all along

I cannot provide you with any accurate view of what societal preconceptions may exist based on your choices to date, but for me any time I see a man in a bra I have nothing but respect.  Comfort trumps gender norms!

I don't think anyone here can guide you to a final solution; you honestly just need to "do you" and trust that will be enough.  Confidence in your own appearance will detract the lionshare of those eyes you feel are judging you, and in the end you won't care if they do.  This may be a ridiculous analogy to make, but have you ever grown a long beard?  To this end, I've found that while coworkers may be initially surprised that you are now a hairy and unkempt beast, it ultimately changes nothing; is this not the goal?

I wish you all the best on your journey here my friend, but I do think you need to make some consideration as to how the genetic females and the ignorant genetic males will handle this.  A good compression sports bra or any other garment that "hides" things may be ideal, but accepting that you are "out of the norm" and embracing female-targeted garments will likely make you more happy in the long run, IMO.

[bikerbob]

If you are looking for something that will hide well under a T shirt, try a pullover type leisure or low impact sports bra.  Underwires are great, but they nearly always come with hooks and adjusters that show through the shirt when you bend over.  Pullovers don't have hardware on the back and sports bras are meant to be perspired in.  I can wear most 42C underwires without the cups wrinkling, but I find the pullovers adequate for daily wear, physical labor and even mountain biking.  If anybody notices the outline of the shoulder straps, they will usually take them for an undershirt.  Plus most of them are inexpensive.  If you are much bigger than a C cup, you are probably better off with the underwire but give pullovers a try.

[blad]

I agree that a pull over type bra will tend to be the least visible, but also perhaps the least comfortable. Their inexpensive nature often also indicates poor quality and fit. 

[Johndoe1]

My biggest complaint with pull overs is that they use compression for support and over time, that compressing of the breast tissue starts to be painful, particularly around the nipple and areola for me. Also, they are not as supportive as other structured bras and are a real pain to put on and take off due to the amount of compression needed for support makes it difficult to put on and remove, particularly if you have been sweating. YouTube is full of funny videos of people who have become stuck in their pullover bras trying to get them off. As a DD/DDD, I find i do not get the support I need from those type bras even though I know some people have very good luck with them.

[JKing]

I agree with JohnDoe about compression garments. I use them for the hour at the gym and that’s it. Maybe once my gut shrinks a bit more it won’t be as bad, but even at my smaller breast size, they are not comfortable. And for a whole day, absolutely not! 

Having said that I will check out Spanx for men for the gym. They sound like they are more comfortable than underworks. I wonder if they are lighter and cooler. 

[MarcoB]

My biggest complaint with pull overs is that they use compression for support and over time, that compressing of the breast tissue starts to be painful, particularly around the nipple and areola for me. Also, they are not as supportive as other structured bras and are a real pain to put on and take off due to the amount of compression needed for support makes it difficult to put on and remove, particularly if you have been sweating.

I never have any trouble at all "molting" one off after a bike ride when it's wet with sweat; but getting a pull-over non-sports one on afterwards is a challenge when my skin is still moist.