Telling parents

[poker]

Hey, i read paa paw's post about letting your parents know. But the thing is, i have read a lot about gyne and i have had it for about 2 1/2 years and dont see it going anywhere soon. I am 16 yrs old 165 lbs 6' 2''. I know im not fat and i am in shape but i feel that if i do tell my parents itll be pointless because the doc will say i should wait till im fully done growing, which wont be for another few years and then maybe surgery, so i dont know if i should wait or jst tell them. Please help

[Worrier]

i  would tell them anyway. Even if the doctors advice is leave it for a few years to see if it resolves it is good to let your folks know if something is bothering you.

Iam ten years older than you and when I told my family and a few select  friends it was a load off.

[DrBermant]

Hey, i read paa paw's post about letting your parents know. But the thing is, i have read a lot about gyne and i have had it for about 2 1/2 years and dont see it going anywhere soon. I am 16 yrs old 165 lbs 6' 2''. I know im not fat and i am in shape but i feel that if i do tell my parents itll be pointless because the doc will say i should wait till im fully done growing, which wont be for another few years and then maybe surgery, so i dont know if i should wait or jst tell them. Please help

Gynecomastia frequently goes away on its own. Most male babies have some small breast buds at birth from their mother's hormones in the womb.  This typically resolves.  Many teenagers have gynecomastia from the imbalance of hormones during puberity.  Gynecomastia that persits for more than 2 years often typically does not resolve on its own. When should surgery be done on a young man is a very common question addressed here.


I have operated on many teenagers for this problem. Some have posted here in this forum. Here are links to one father's posts about his 14 year old who had surgery.

http://www.gynecomastia.org/cgi-bin/gyne_yabb/YaBB.cgi?board=1;action=display;num=1029094195;start=1#1

http://www.gynecomastia.org/cgi-bin/gyne_yabb/YaBB.cgi?board=1;action=display;num=1029080561;start=5#5


It depends on the degree of the problem, emotional concerns, current breast growth, and other factors best explored with an experienced surgeon during a consultation after an examination.

Many teenage patients have told me that using the internet helped them talk with their parents about their gynecomastia.  Here is a movie I posted about the emotion of living with gynecomastia many have told me helped.



Hope this helps,

Michael Bermant, MD
Learn More About Gynecomastia and Chest Sculpture

[Yoshi]

My pediatrician kept saying it would go away on its own and I shouldn't consider surgery...Then I found this board and took it into my own hands; I saw an endocrinologist. He seemed like he dealed with patients like me all the time and told me I was done with puberty and recommended me a surgeon (although I'm most likely going to get a consultation by that surgeon and Dr. Bermant since Dr. Bermant is only a couple hours away).

By the way, I am also 16 years old and I never really noticed my gynecomastia until a kid pointed it out when I was 13.

[poker]

Yea dude, yoshi same happened to me, someone pointed it out to me when i was 13. I jst dont know how to bring it up with my parents. its awkward and embarassing

[Preds]

Personally,
I think it depends on your relationship with your parents.  When I was 13/14, my father would make comments that I needed to lose weight or get a bra.  That was great for the inner self.  Anyway, 20+ years later, my parents won't even be told until after the surgery.  I envy people that had a close relationship with parents.  
I am not saying my parents did not care but we just had boundaries that it was uncomfortable to cross

[poker]

Yea...i can say i kinda have a close relationship, but its jst like so random, like walk up and start talking about gynecomastia, i dont even know how to pronounce it

[c3ntralp3rk]

just tell them. that's all i have to say.

what do you have to lose? they're your parents. and they always will be.

[BR_Guy]

I'm a father of a 16 years old girl.
Believe me, they are waiting for that conversation.

Poker, just tell them.
By now, they probably have a glue that something bore you. And they don't know how to sit down with you and talk.
This will relief you and them. And you'll get a lot of strength to go on.

[poker]

Thanks BR_guy for that advice, but i jst wish it was that easy

[BR_Guy]

It's not easy, I know...

But, as a father, I can tell you about parent's perspective.

Having Gyno you certainly already gave them some glues that something is wrong.
e.g. You never take your shirt off. You don't like to swim. Using a shirt you keep your arms crossed.
Things like that.
And, if your Gyno is visible over the shirt, they are seeing that too. They probably noted that before you. By dressing you, or something like that, when you was younger.

Sometimes I know that's something wrong with my daugther, and I'm anguish to talk about. But I'm also want to respect her time and her wish to talk. So, I wait for her. And they'll be very happy to be able to help you.


What I'm saying is: they know that is something wrong. And they want to talk about. Also, they know how important it is to you. As soon as you start to talk, they will take care of.


Goog luck.

[poker]

Yea, i think you're right, they might already sorta know, so ill try bringing it up soon. We'll see what happens, thanks a lot

[Yoshi]

Yeah, luckily my pediatrician told my parents which broke the ice but made an akward car ride home... Now my parents and I talk about it casually...but it is akward at first. You must remember the benefits of telling your parents in the long run especially if you can't pay for surgery or are a teenager.

[Paa_Paw]

The question comes down to simply this: what have you got to gain or lose from not telling them?

You have everything to gain, and nothing to lose.  

Even if they seem less than sympathetic,  you lost nothing.  Conversely, they just might be a great help.

Sometimes in the course of raising a family, Gynecomastia would seem to be of minor concern to a parent.  you might find a grandparent more helpful in such a case.

[poker]

Alright, well today i was planning on telling my dad, but he left to go out of town. I want to get it over with so i e-mailed him all the information and telling him i have it. We'll see how it goes. thanks for all the help