Author Topic: Excuses to avoid swimming or being shirtless  (Read 4267 times)

Offline fvirile

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So what kind of excuses do you guys use to get out of going shirtless on the beach or going swimming?
I squirm with embarrasment whenever my friends suggest either activity and since I am generally outgoing they find it strange. Lately I have started to mumble I have a " medical condition" that precludes either of the two activites. It's very frustrating.

Offline gyneman

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I used to just swim with my shirt on!! I would just tell people I burn easy and sunblock is not good enough!! It works, trust me. Nobody questions it!! ;D

Offline flex1appeal

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allergic to the sun and burn easy are good ones.

Offline Mr_Nip

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OK those are good, but what about after dark or an indoor pool?    ???
MR. NIP

I come from nowhere
And you should go there.
Just try it for a while.
The people from nowhere always smile.  -  Frank Zappa

Offline gyneman

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I don't know anyone with an indoor pool....LOL....But I would say my stomach hurt , good one!!

Offline G-Man99

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Problems with your ears when you go under the water.

Offline fvirile

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You say "I suffer from a condition called gynecomastia. This condition causes my breasts to enlarge to a point that I become very self conscious. It makes me feel less of a man, and although I know that my appearances should not first and foremost on my mind, the society we live in today dictates that I place an emphasis on my appearance."
Then, the women will praise you for opening up, and being so honest, they all jump your bones, and get all freaky. Your guy friends will be in envy, and decide to goto a plastic surgeon to have implants inserted, to look like you.
Women will go nutz over it, and all the hunky steroid ridden men who gave us a bad name for many many years, will be left on the sidelines, in awe of us gyne victims.
This craze spreads nationwide, and you will be crowned a hero amongst your peers.
You start your own talk show, opposite Oprah, and her show goes down the dumps, and you are crowned king of the talk show hosts.
Or, you can just say your stomach hurts.
 ;)



That would be a very funny turn of events. I actually wouldn't mind that at all, what with annoying Oprah down and me up!

I can't use the sunburn excuse coz at school our pools are indoor. I sometimes also say that my skin is allergic to chlorinated water.The worst part is I actually used to like swimming when I was a kid :(

So what ages did you guys start becoming consious of the uneveness of your chests? I remember freaking out in grade 5 but then for some reason, it susbided but in grade 7 the uneveness reared its ugly head again :(

Offline headheldhigh01

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the cramps thing is an old wives' tail, but most people believed it.  i never tried the shirt thing, because i knew the last thing i needed getting out of the water was a wet t-shirt over my contours. 

i used to just make my feeble excuses that i didn't want to go in (lie).  they just figured i must have gotten some fear of water and i never corrected them.  i can still think back on the girlfriend that lay with me patiently in the sand once, just willing to be there for me, knowing something was wrong. 

and thanks to ignorance of gyne, we are now history, curse it in misery, gawd amighty.  billyboy's answer would have been real useful about twenty years ago.  so just tell them you choose not to.  but be glad you know what it is and can do something. 
* a man is more than a body will ever tell
* if it screws up your life the same, is there really any such thing as "mild" gyne?

Offline fvirile

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the cramps thing is an old wives' tail, but most people believed it.  i never tried the shirt thing, because i knew the last thing i needed getting out of the water was a wet t-shirt over my contours. 

i used to just make my feeble excuses that i didn't want to go in (lie).  they just figured i must have gotten some fear of water and i never corrected them.  i can still think back on the girlfriend that lay with me patiently in the sand once, just willing to be there for me, knowing something was wrong. 

and thanks to ignorance of gyne, we are now history, curse it in misery, gawd amighty.  billyboy's answer would have been real useful about twenty years ago.  so just tell them you choose not to.  but be glad you know what it is and can do something. 

I've never tried wearing a shirt to the pool coz I dread having it stick to me. The last time I saw the insdes of a pool was in grade 6...such a long time ago :(

I've never been in a relationship and I really shy from hugs and things like that. Gyne does take over a lot of aspects of your life eh?
I've noticed the allergic to chlorinated water excuse works well. Friends are quite respectful of that.



 

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