Reality Check

[OldandTired]

I was registered on this site some time ago (under a different name), having developed 3 years ago.

While I was here I received nothing but abuse for promoting the ‘alternative’ view that a bloke having breasts is neither rare, nor a big deal. I reckoned that being here with such a view was about as much fun as spending a holiday in a leper colony. I come back here only to make this one post, and then I am happy to be deleted, for I have no axe to grind, nor the time to fight pointless arguments.

I visit the site on the occasional rainy day, when boredom strikes. I was interested to see that Merle tried, a while ago, to half-heartedly improve the ‘Acceptance’ area of the board, but this has resulted, despite the best intentions of WishmasterK, to either bulk apathy, or the regular locking of threads that have got out of control., The prevailing attitude is, and always will be, the production line of ‘you’re a freak mate – I can fix you – give me your life savings and all will be well’.

Yes, other sites exist with acceptance as a theme, but these mostly get visited by gays, transsexuals, and transvestites who have an active interest, while others soon run out anything to say, i.e. those who accept their condition and don’t worry about it.

I would suggest that this site deletes the ‘acceptance’ section, as it serves no purpose other than to attract the occasional ‘soap opera’ argument that fails to contribute anything and at best amuses none but a few trouble makers. This site is best at its ‘surgery solution’ to the ‘problem’, as that is the prevailing view, and the one that gains income from the sponsors and associates. I think it should abandon any pretence to be interested in the subject of ‘acceptance’. The sad thing is that the cheaper alternative (live with it) gets sidelined, and sadly, many unnecessarily suffer from an implied social stigma and feeling of inferiority, even to the ridiculous point of contemplating suicide.

I see no sign that this will change – which is sadder still!

[BigLouJr]

I must concur with you. I wrote plenty of posts very similar but emphazising the self-advertisement of some towards surgery, instead of a site oriented to the sufferes themselves. Whereas an accetance or removal by surgery, we are who matters and not the doctors making over 1.4 million a year.

[radic]

Suppose surgery is right for some, but not me.  For those that think me a freak for accepting my breasts, I'll not waste my time.

There are plenty of us on here who ignore the noise and just get on with it. 

I hear the stats say that one in four men have some degree of gyne, I wonder how many of that group opt for surgery.  I'll bet not many.  But for those who can afford it, and those who feel they want it... fine. 

I like me, my boobs included.  I'm no leper.

[outertrial]

As you say yourself OldandTired, most people whove accepted gynecomastia dont feel the need to post about it. The prevailing attitude in society is that significant man breasts dont look good or normal,  except sadly if youre in some strange subset of fetishists. I would actually prefer this bit of the site were deleted precisely because those people arent exactly encouraging normal chaps to forget about their gyne.

Take this (now locked) thread:

Frankly, I like having 38 A-Bs it isn't so bad. I have some cute, lacey bras love wearing them. It's fun to be able to fill a bra (the As, the Bs almost).
My wife doesn't mind. In fact, she sometimes goes lingerie shopping with. If we're going to have breasts, let's have some fun with them

Well great, for Petes sake how is reading that going to help some young guy come to terms with his body?

There are some forum users  who I believe really need encouragement to accept what they look like, and some who really just need to lose weight,  but the vast majority of new posters here have legitimate concerns about gyne which usually can only realistically be addressed by surgery.

[WishmasterK]

"There are some forum users  who I believe really need encouragement to accept what they look like, and some who really just need to lose weight,  but the vast majority of new posters here have legitimate concerns about gyne which usually can only realistically be addressed by surgery."

I would disagree, a have gyne that cant be addressed by simply loosing weight. I have had an actual doctor exam, to prove this. But I have come to terms with having gynecomastia all the same. I respect your opinion but in my opinion your wrong. I'm happy the way I am, I have a hot girl and a good job and life is grand.

And know one is telling people to forget about their gyne. This is why it's acceptance, not ignorance.

ps... I feel the need to post about it.

pps... it's not so long ago that this very site a had a section for bras on the main page, and a link to many stores. If this offends you, don't read it. And if somesone new to gyne reads a post that offends them, well most people have the common sense to close there browser or click on a link to somewhere else.

[outertrial]

pps... it's not so long ago that this very site a had a section for bras on the main page, and a link to many stores. If this offends you, don't read it. And if somesone new to gyne reads a post that offends them, well most people have the common sense to close there browser or click on a link to somewhere else.

Yes thats what Im worried about. And where do you suggest these people go once they've been put off coming here because theyre looking for help and  dont want to be associated with people with bra fetishes?

[headheldhigh01]

i don't think enjoying it would be a problem, people have taken that angle before and done fine.  making fetishism/celebration the focus of acceptance might not work, but that's really for the acceptors to decide.  if someone can't behave in the acceptance area, you warn or ban them and delete the post.  i think fetishism is bad in the main area since it tends to scare away kids who feel awkward enough just posting for the first time, and you get trolls like blatino drooling over their pics and telling them they look hot, that's bad, but i agree, if you're an acceptor, discuss it freely and ignore anyone who can't deal with it.  if you don't know how to ignore and not let people get to you anyway, the internet may not be for you 

[WishmasterK]

pps... it's not so long ago that this very site a had a section for bras on the main page, and a link to many stores. If this offends you, don't read it. And if somesone new to gyne reads a post that offends them, well most people have the common sense to close there browser or click on a link to somewhere else.

Yes thats what Im worried about. And where do you suggest these people go once they've been put off coming here because theyre looking for help and  dont want to be associated with people with bra fetishes?

Your assuming that every person seeing it is getting put off by it.

Pls note just because you wear a bra doesn't equate it to being a fetish.

Defintion of fetish: an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression.

I don't know any men who wear a bra due to gyne that have that definition. In fact it's kinda insulting and it's getting to the level of flaming. Don't refer to a group of people you don't know, something you don't even know the actual definition of.

[Teflon]

Unfortunately I'm with Old&Tired by this point. I have checked in here occassionally and the Acceptance forum dialogue has been less than lively. The start of many conversations gets crapped on by intolerant children who accuse the person who accepts his condition of being a fetishist or worse a pedophile. So conversations go no where because they are derailed by the constant defense of the Acceptors' right to be here at all. ("NO PLACE FOR ACCEPTANCE HERE" they are saying loud and clear... like bitchy little Hitler Youth.)

The artificial partitioning of the General area of the forum from the Acceptance area is not separation enough. They just can't tolerate the presence of anyone who doesn't yearn for the knife. So maybe the time has come for Acceptance to have its own URL completely separate from gynecomastia.org - - Maybe then the children would be happy and maybe there, on a separate website, acceptance could be discussed without being constantly under seige and on trial.

I believe Merle really does want Acceptance to remain a viable option for men who suffer from gynecomastia, and that he wants his gynecomastia support efforts to include and make room for the acceptors. But the reality is that kids usually want surgery and the older men are often inclined or forced by necessity to go down another path. And seldom do they overlap.

I agree it does the frightened teen little good to hear about older men living with the condition.

And an adult man is probably foolish at this point if he comes here expecting mature dialogue.

[radic]

Hmmm....

"Acceptor"? Sorry, I refuse to be given a name such as this because I accept my body.  The naming "acceptor" implies I have made a decision that is some how unacceptable.... I would never apply the name "surgicant" to someone who decided surgery is right for them.  I guess I just don't get this "us vs. them" dichotomy.  The world is not black and white.

Also... I struggled with this in my teenage years, at the time there was no internet.  It would have been great to hear from adults that have lived with their breasts, and come to integrate that into their body image.  To say otherwise is to tell youngsters that the only possible alternative is surgery.

paz

radic

[Res6462]

I agree with most of what has been stated here.

I do find it interesting that two heavyweights from the "main" part of the board HeadHeldHigh and MayWest posted on this thread.That says alot.You two gentlemen have very strong opinions and I respect you both for it.

William,I've read recently that the percentage may be as high as 50%.

Let me weigh in on this.I agree that this part should be eliminated from this site altogether.It may be a viable section to turn to for a small group of newcomers but not enough to justify its existence.This section seems to be a lightning rod for all things bad about Gynecomastia.It seems that most of the members that have posted here wind up at one time or another defending themselves from,well,the other side.But that does seem to come from the less experienced side of the membership.What I mean by that is someone that just posted for help,let's say.Ten postings later,that person considers himself an expert and feels free to dispense advice,with encouragement from others.It never fails to amuse me.Those are the ones that worry me the most.

I've found other "groups" to try and get a little info here and there to round out my understanding.Just like Old & Tired,when boredom strikes...here I am.

This side cannot receive any special policing because then the admins will be accused of "protecting" the "freaks" or whatever other descriptive you wish to use.

I have a great deal of respect for everybody that has posted on the Acceptance side.That includes AngelAllen,Teflon,etc. because they tried to show another side to all of this.

No fanfare or special notices....just shut it down.

And for the record I do have a family.My exwife knows about it,my current girlfriend knows about it,and my 14 y/o son knows about it and they do not have a problem with it. That also means I dress,act,and live like a male.No nighties,fishnets,or stilletto heels either.Sorry to disappoint some of you that are reading this.

Roger

[Res6462]

William:

I understand what you've stated and I don't disagree with it.However,this part of the board is presented (IMO Merle) to give equal time for others that don't want anything to do with surgery or liposuction or whatever.

The problem lies with others that will "cross" to this side and make comments to stir things up.The only thing that both sides of this board agree on is to disagree.The two will never mix.

Emotions run high at times on both sides and it doesn't take much for a flare up.Confusion,anger,self-loathing,thoughts of suicide....all of these are present just about all of the time.Much more on the other side (again Merle,IMO) than over here.

But that doesn't mean they're overreacting.It's just what they're going through and you have to accept it at times.

I don't mind having a spirited discussion from time to time but I can't make this board my only source or outlet.

I still believe that this side should be shut down.It's great that it's here but it causes more problems than I perceive than it's worth.

Roger

[FatM1ke]

But those people aren't going to come to this forum because they don't care about it.
Also, anyone who does live with or accept it (or even like it) gets tired of been branded as a pervert by certain forum members here and leaves out of frustration. I'd post here, but I'd rather not have to listen to crap from various members.

[OldandTired]

OK, I started this thread and it's raining again, so some observations:-

Firstly, I'm surprised that it's generated a  number of comments and is still a going concern.

Secondly, a medal to brother William who is still trying to fly the flag - well done mate!

Thirdly, I am still here and able to post ! (Yeh, OK, 2 posts (I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition (Quote - Monty Python))

I'm sad to note that High Priest Merle hasn't commented - is the site still interested in acceptance .... or anything.

It still appears that the Acceptance section is not supported by this site and my original comments still stand.

Back to Winter hibernation now !!

[WishmasterK]

You know insulting Merle isn't going to get you anywhere. Neither is insulting anyone on the site pro acceptance. The only reason your post still exists is because here in acceptance we allow other viewpoints and opinions, but dont push your luck. And if the site didn't support acceptance this part of the board wouldn't be here.