Not having support Hurts

[Copespo]

its so hard to get my parents support with surgery, Its like the worlds hardest thing. You guys who have your parents support on this, be glad and happy that you do since my parents are not supportive of me getting surgery. I mean I didn't really talk to them about surgery, I mentioned gyno once or twice and both my parents were like "Your chest is normal" but its not, I have gyno and fat (not a lot) but I get the manboob affect and its killing me. Like once I was watching this tv show with some guy who had a muscular body and my mom was like "Look that guys chest is like yours" I was like "Um are you seriously blind? Thats pure muscle, I have a mix of gynofat boobs" they just dont understand me, they think I am making things up all the time.

Like if I told them about surgery both would automatically say NO! Tonight we talked about our vacation to Europe, and my mom and dad want to go to Egypt as well once in Europe, and I was like "yea I would like to go to, if possible" and their like "well you have money saved, you can put some down and well match the rest" and I was like "Eh never mind" (I have $7.000 saved for my surgery) which I will not be touching, not a single penny....so my mom was like "what  do you need the money for" and I wanted to badly to say "surgery" but I was just too scared, since they would just shut me down right away and not hear another word....

Only person who supports me is my brother, and if it has to come down to it, its gonna be only me and him who will know when I get this surgery... its not that I cant do the surgery without them, I am 20 years old, and I can sign for my own surgery, but I would love to have their support on this, it would mean so much.... Man when I become a parent Im never going to treat my children like this, they are not bad parents they are awesome, but when it come to things like this they just wont understand. They care more about what others thing as suppose to what I think... they always said before "Your the only person who thinks he has larger breasts" and I always tell them "I dont care, and Im not the only person, everyone notices it but people dont tell you"

So Once I come back from vacation, Im gonna go get my job back and work to get another 1.500 and schedule a consultation with Dr. Jacobs in December....I plan on telling my mother again in the summer about surgery and all, if they brush it off then I am sorry but I cant live my life like this, no more.

[Copespo]

you have gynecomastia videos and articles here and there, let them watch these videos on youtube and she'll understand, my mom did.

she still thinks im "making this up" but she said that i shouldn't be scared to talk about these things , after all these years, buy the way i will never meet with some members of my family because my mom told them about it, Its my fault because I didnt say anything or how serious this is, I dont care tho, I'm having a flat chest for the late summer or christmas.

well thats a good idea, and I think they would still not think I am right. Its just insane how my parents are not supportive of me in situations like this, anything else they are cool about stuff. Like I can ask for 200 bucks and they will eventually give in, but I have my own money its just an example. I think they are scared themselves of admitting that something is wrong with my chest so they are trying to prevent me from worrying and stuff. But I am not worried I am just inpatient with this problem, I cant wait till december when I get rid of this damn curse, its gonna be the happiest day in my life. Are you also getting your gyne removed in december?

[Paa_Paw]

Perhaps your parents see you as their almost perfect son and thus simply do not see the Gynecomastia. Conversely, We live in an age wherein we are surrounded by contrived ideals and perhaps your opinion is based partially on those ideals. The truth probably lays somewhere between those extremes.

See a Doctor and get your Gynecomastia diagnosed. That will leave your parents without an argument. Another possibility would be a grandparent, Do you have one nearby who might come to your support in this issue?

I do not doubt that you have Gynecomastia, it is probably an issue of degree and/or perception. Your parents cannot see it as a problem but it is a major problem for you. Dealing with Gynecomastia is your issue, not theirs. It would be nice to have their support, but you may have to go ahead without it.

Good Luck!

[moobzSUck]

OMFG My parents are the same, there a bit more understanding now but still don't support me, i made my brother watch the videos and look at the pics and he's with me %100. I am 17 and i am gonna wait a little bit before i get surgery.

Good luck bro.

[Angel_of_Death]

You already have the understanding that surgery is your only option, you already have all the information you need about the surgery itself just with this site, and most importantly you already have the money banked up to pay for surgery. Parents support or not, if YOU want...there is nothing standing in your way.

Listen, you've already taken a major step just by making the attempt of discussing this with your parents, that's something alot of us have had a really hard time doing. And even tough you don't end up getting the support of your parents for surgery, if ever it does happen...it will indirectly be because of their support. I'm not exactly sure about your situation, but I'm assuming that you still live with your parents, and if you've had the opportunity to build up a bankroll of 7 grand, I'm sure it because of them. You mentioned yourself that they are great parents, be great full about it.

I live with my parents. As opposed to you, I never talked or even made an attempt to talk to my parents about having surgery. But gyne made my life a living hell, I knew that anything that I would want to achieve in life, whether it being getting a degree, enjoying a good social life, getting married, having children, having a successful career...I knew for all those thing gyne would stand in the way. There is no way a person has to endure and live with man boobs for the rest of his life, specially not when you have the opportunity to get it done. I got surgery and made a huge plan, and surgery was also held in another city. My plan now that I think of it was extremely well planned and well executed. Surgery was a success   and nobody ever found out about it. No one ! I don't regret my decision one bit, and would do it all over again if I'd have to.

Think about it. If you wanna read up on my story I've posted all the details in the user diary section, check it out. I hope it can serve as inspiration.

You also mentioned about your brother, that's great if you can get his support. Just having this one person can be all the support you need.

It's your life, it's your call.
 

[Copespo]

You already have the understanding that surgery is your only option, you already have all the information you need about the surgery itself just with this site, and most importantly you already have the money banked up to pay for surgery. Parents support or not, if YOU want...there is nothing standing in your way.

Listen, you've already taken a major step just by making the attempt of discussing this with your parents, that's something alot of us have had a really hard time doing. And even tough you don't end up getting the support of your parents for surgery, if ever it does happen...it will indirectly be because of their support. I'm not exactly sure about your situation, but I'm assuming that you still live with your parents, and if you've had the opportunity to build up a bankroll of 7 grand, I'm sure it because of them. You mentioned yourself that they are great parents, be great full about it.

I live with my parents. As opposed to you, I never talked or even made an attempt to talk to my parents about having surgery. But gyne made my life a living hell, I knew that anything that I would want to achieve in life, whether it being getting a degree, enjoying a good social life, getting married, having children, having a successful career...I knew for all those thing gyne would stand in the way. There is no way a person has to endure and live with man boobs for the rest of his life, specially not when you have the opportunity to get it done. I got surgery and made a huge plan, and surgery was also held in another city. My plan now that I think of it was extremely well planned and well executed. Surgery was a success   and nobody ever found out about it. No one ! I don't regret my decision one bit, and would do it all over again if I'd have to.

Think about it. If you wanna read up on my story I've posted all the details in the user diary section, check it out. I hope it can serve as inspiration.

You also mentioned about your brother, that's great if you can get his support. Just having this one person can be all the support you need.

It's your life, it's your call.
 

Wow Angle of Death seems like you and me kind of have a similar story. Well the surgery part is not something that I am debating about, its going to happen 110%, by the end of January. I am gonna get my consultation around December 25 and then go for surgery the next week around Dec 30 or first week january, since thats when my semester winter break starts. I am gonna tell my parents one more time this summer, and if they are not supporting me then I am gonna do this by myself, since its easy to say NO and live with it when that problem doesnt affect you, so I guess thats how they feel.

I basically made all in total 16.000, but since I was just a idiot I spend like 7.500 on bullcrap, like games, TV, laptop and so on. I work at bestbuy so its very hard to not buy anything there, I am a technology freak but I learned to control myself and saved 7.000.... the rest of my money that I spend went towards school and transport. I of course saved this much because I do live with my parents, so I dont pay rent or anything...just half my cellphone bill which is like 50 bucks every month, not bad. This summer when I get back from my vacation I am gonna go back and try to get my job back since the managers told me to drop by if I need work again. I had to quit my job because my parents want me to go to europe, and I didn't want to, just because I want to save a lot of money so I can get this surgery done.

I know all of you know how it is to live with this curse, but my parents just dont understand it. Like they literally laugh and tell me that its "normal" and I just sit there feeling like crap inside, they think they know everything. Even if I do show them videos of this problem they would still think Im crazy. I know I can convince my mom to support me, but I know for 150% my dad would never support me in something like this. if I would mention surgery to both, I think they would freak out. I never mentioned surgery to them, just addressed them about my problem.

And what you did is what I am going to do, I am secretly going to get this done, and I was wondering did anyone ask questions, like "Hey why do you seem down" or something like that after your surgery?

[Grandpa Bambu]

Yeah, it's tough when you want so badly to have your parents support and they are unwilling... 

As Grandpa Dan said though, you may just have to do this without their blessings. Do what you gotta do my man! It's your body and your life... 

GB

[Copespo]

Yeah, it's tough when you want so badly to have your parents support and they are unwilling... 

As Grandpa Dan said though, you may just have to do this without their blessings. Do what you gotta do my man! It's your body and your life... 

GB

yeap, thats exactly what I am going to do, no one is going to live with this problem except me. I cant live with it, and I have the money and option to get rid of it, will I do it? hell yes I am! lol

[Paa_Paw]

When I was 12 or 13, My Mother teased that if they got any bigger she'd have to get me a bra. She was attempting to make light of the situation but did not choose her words very well. Realizing that her comment hurt me, she never mentioned it again but waited for me to bring it up. She had to wait about 25 years.

Perhaps you need to take the initiative and open the subject in such a way that the is no doubt about your feelings.

[Copespo]

When I was 12 or 13, My Mother teased that if they got any bigger she'd have to get me a bra. She was attempting to make light of the situation but did not choose her words very well. Realizing that her comment hurt me, she never mentioned it again but waited for me to bring it up. She had to wait about 25 years.

Perhaps you need to take the initiative and open the subject in such a way that the is no doubt about your feelings.

my mom never teased me about it since she then thinks I would become more aware of it and make up more stuff....they honestly think that I am making this up, I lived with them for 20 years and I know what people they become. If I am planning something and I need to ask my parents or tell them about it I before hand I know how they will react and what their answer is going to be, and I get both right about 93% times in all cases.

I can mention it to them, and take them even to a doctor, and if I took them with me to the doctor this is exactly what they would say "The doctor is just making this up, so he can take the money from you, don't be dumb" I guarantee my life on it that this would be 95% close to their words...Its almost unbelievable, I think they want me to live by their decisions and depend on their word to make me forget about the problem, I have done this before but in every persons life the time come when u just say "No" and go your way and deal with it, and thats whats happening now to me.

[Grandpa Bambu]

In every persons life the time come when u just say "No" and go your way and deal with it, and thats whats happening now to me.

It's called.... becoming a man and making your own decisions. 

GB

[Copespo]

In every persons life the time come when u just say "No" and go your way and deal with it, and thats whats happening now to me.

It's called.... becoming a man and making your own decisions. 

GB

hehe yea, thanks for the replies everyone...they helped a lot.

[Jdowg]

I felt the same way you did. I finally manned up, and talked 1 on 1 with my dad about it. He could tell it was affecting me in many ways, and i showed him about 3 videos. After he was glad that we talked, and said if it is really bothering me that we need to get it taken care of cause it can affect you later in your life. I hope your dad is as supportive as mine. I had all the feelings in the world where they would say, its normal, you've just been over weight, IM NOT SPENDING MONEY. Now my dad said its well worth getting surgery ever since i talked to him.

[monterojl]

Hey man i know what your talking about, i had gyne my whole life. When i was a teen i was chubby and had bigger moobs, so my parents probably tought it was because of my weight, but around 17 i began to eat very healthy and hitting the gym every day, all because i wanted to get rid of my moobs. So i got in shape and more muscular and the gyne was only noticeable when shirtless, with clothes on i could hide it pretty well and looked like a muscular chest. So my parents never knew anything about it....When i decided to get the surgery i knew what they were going to say "that there was nothing wrong with me, i looked great, its all in my head" kind of like your parents. So i decided to have the surgery without anyone knowing, hey its my money, my body, im old enough, so why tell them and listen to their sermon. I only told my girlfriend because im getting married in 6 months and she had to know, she was very suportive, but if i didnt have a GF at the time, i wouldve done it without a single soul knowing about it.

So dont waste your time trying to convince your parents, its not because theyre not suportive, but theyre from different times when issues like that werent an issue at all, they just wont understand no matter how much they love you. So if your brother is already supportive, go ahead and do it. Save your self the grief of trying to exaplin and have them reject the idea etc etc etc.....

Good luck.

[PhillyPUFF]

I would ask your brother to talk to your parents for you. Maybe they will take it seriously if they see that he's taking it seriously. Have him just sit down with them and let them know you have this condition called gynecomastia and it effects your life by X,Y,Z. Have him let them know you have tried to get their support but they don't listen. Tell him to let them know your going to get the surgery either way, but you prefer if you had their support. Have your bro show them this site. Have them watch a few videos, and have them poke around a bit and read some of our stories. Maybe once they realize how much of an impact having gyne has on your everyday life, maybe they will support you. I don't know, just my .02 cents.