Wife made the worst comment

[koyo]

After being married for a number of years my wife made a comment that really hurt because I thought she understood my situation but, in fact was looking at me as some kind of freak. Wow! She said after I had lost some weight (30# and still loosing  but still had those knockers ( a little smaller now but still there) she said "Well you're finally starting to look like a man. It's about time!" We have been together more than ten years and this was a whammy!    Have the rest of you encountered this?

[Gyno 44]

wow thats messed up, what the hell is here deal.

[donnieosmond]

What a bitch man

[Paa_Paw]

Many years ago, The Ink Spots (a vocal group popular in the 1950s) sang a song titled "You Always Hurt The One You Love". It was a true statement then and it is still true today.

When I was 12 or 13, My Mother teased me saying "If they get any bigger I'll need to get you a Bra". She realized almost immediately that what she had said was hurtful, but the words were out and could not be recalled. She never again mentioned my breasts because she did not want to hurt me any further. I was in my late thirties before we had any discussion about breasts. That discussion was brought about because she had breast cancer but before it was over my condition was also a part of what we talked about.

I never doubted that my Mother loved me, but that offhand comment hurt and the hurt lasted for many years.

Before this hurt festers into something that destroys your relationship with your wife, you need to have a long talk with her and make it clear, without accusing, how much her words hurt you.

You absolutely need to get this out in the open and get it behind you.

Once the topic is opened, you may find that she can be of great help in dealing with your condition or in preparing you for surgery to get rid of it.

Be honest with yourself, Have you never said a hurtful thing to someone you love?

Don't seek vengeance, but try to reconcile.

"He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone"

[Gyno 44]

i agree with u to forgive but the issue for me would be thats how she felt all that time? im sensitive though but that just me

but i agree with you paaw.

[atomicmonkey15]

 bitch slap that ho

seriously dont take that kinda shit men should be in power not woman.

[Paa_Paw]

Wow, There's an attitude that will turn your woman off.

Unless you want to end up alone and horney, you'll need to soften up a bit.

[AnonNZ]

I think the best approach would've been a well-timed come-back such as "thanks, now when are you starting your diet honey?". It lets her know that those comments hurt (because she obviously needs to experience the hurt before she understands), and allows an open dialogue (or possible argument) there and then - out in the open and all finished in a matter of minutes.

It's a little disturbing that she didn't have the empathy to understand that that comment would hurt, especially considering you've been together for so long. Do you two have a jovial competitive relationship? If so she may have simply been mentally 'poking' you, but didn't realise the result.

[Jay999]

Is she autistic? Cos I'm really surprised that she can misunderstand someone elses feelings like that.

[matthew1]

Well congratulations on the weight loss.

It's too bad this isn't the 50's and we can't just smack our old ladies for saying some stupid shit like that.

Harsh comment indeed.
On the plus side she did say that your looking more manly these days...

Use it as motivation in your workout routine  She shouldn't have much too say when you start catching the attention of the ladies around town. If she does say anything like that again you definitely need to stop whatever's going on, sit her down and let her know she's crossed a line.

Probverbs 21:19
It is better to dwell in a desert land than with a contentious woman and with vexation.

proverbs
Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. 10

[matthew1]

bitch slap that ho

seriously dont take that kinda shit men should be in power not woman.

  LOL
 I bet your wife  is wife is still  scrubbing  your   briefs with her toothbrush after making  a similiar comment to  you

[MSJ108]

wives like to bust our chops a bit. I am sure it wasn't as vindictive as you thought.

[matthew1]

 my wife  told me   she likes me the way I am, and that  my puffy nipples are    fine.
  I said this before,  gyne is much worse in the mind of the  victim,  the rest of the world  really is not  that  concerned.   

[dcvet]

>>I think the best approach would've been a well-timed come-back such as "thanks, now when are you starting your diet honey?". It lets her know that those comments hurt (because she obviously needs to experience the hurt before she understands), and allows an open dialogue (or possible argument) there and then - out in the open and all finished in a matter of minutes.<<

This right here is perfect.

I dont agree with the whole "tell her how much it hurt you blah blah blah"  Men must be able to control their emotions.  Give her a shot back and she'll probably return another one.  Keep that going and eventually she's gonna start to pout and get upset at one of your comments.  When she feels it, she'll realise that what she said was stupid.

What I would do?  I would hit the gym, get ridiculous ripped and muscular, get surgery and lose the moobs, have her fall in love with you all over again, and then leave her. 

[Pragmatic]

I'm with dcvet. What a bitch, and I never use that word. After all your hard work, that's your payoff from the one you love? That sucks.

On the other hand, is it possible you've made similar comments to her? I hope not. Those sort of comments have a habit of rebounding.

Revenge is a dish best served cold. If she really is a harpy, and the cold insults came without you saying similar insults, then hold your head up, get healthy, and meet a dreamy lady. Believe me there are wonderful, hot, kind women out there who appreciate a good man. Knowing how she really feels is being empowered. Screw her. It feels initially satisfying to send a cruel comeback her way, but the best comeback of all is to plan an exit strategy. Lose the ball-and-chain. She's a serious boat anchor to your new found success.

Good luck my brother