My Story/Advice Needed

[shidu54]

I've spent so long roaming these discussion boards that it feels really wierd finally posting something of my own, but for some reason I felt like it was time... Anyways I am a 19 year old male who has been suffering from this for as long as I can remember.  Its eerie how similar my experience was to other people on this website, and I guess it definitely makes me feel better about the insecurities I felt throughout middle school and high school (btw, my worst gyne experience was most definitely swimming class in middle school... horrible horrible stuff).  For the majority of my teenage years, like almost everybody else, I associated my breast development with my obesity, and so I pushed myself to lose the weight in order to find some confidence.

A Quick Digression: is anyone as amazed as I am by the ability of our minds to rationalize how other people view us?  I ask this because since I have found this website and realized my problem, I have been overwhelmed by the little quirks I have developed to hide my "problem" (for example, jeans + t-shirt = BAD, MUST CHANGE! whereas shorts + t-shirt = its all good).  Not to mention the selectivity of particular t-shirts in being better at "hiding" my breasts than others, along with specific wardrobe sets that function well in covering up the problem.  Why can't I realize that it always looks the same, regardless of whether I'm wearing jeans or shorts?

 I guess this relates to my story, because even though I lost the weight (at some point in high school) I have always perceived myself to still be overweight.  Even though I understand now that I am not, it's still hard to shake my own perception of my body, especially when I have two glaring examples of my own shortcomings staring back at me constantly.  Anyways, once I got into college, I began to recognize how different I was much much more, especially since we share bathrooms and I get to see many examples of what my chest should look like, while also increasing my own insecurity even more.  I've been thinking about the surgery for quite some time now, but I still can't bring myself to bring it up to my parents, whether its because of the stigma surrounding plastic surgery, or because its something superficial that I shouldn't be concentrating my thoughts on.  I think its a combination of both, but, as most of you can probably attest to, its hard to say that having breasts is superficial, especially in a society like todays (and especially in an environment like college).  At this point, I think I'm just looking for some validation for my desire to get the surgery... It's really hard to picture myself doing that though...  As if this post isn't rambling enough: on a side note, I did work up the courage to ask my doctor about it, and he said that there was no glandular tissue, and that it was just fat (pseudogynecomastia he called it, although the term's validity seems debatable).  I'm not sure how to feel about this: if i got surgery, would this make it easier to get good results?  does the fact that its not full blown gynecomastia mean i should wait another year to see if it goes down (lemme just say though, that puberty definitely feels like its over for me)?

One final note: I went on a vacation to Hawaii with 3 of my closest friends last week... I didn't really think about my situation until everything had been booked (I think I was just so excited to go somewhere and leave the cold of MN i forgot about everything else)... thankfully though, these were my closest friends and although they definitely noticed, they didn't say anything at all... the trip was successful though, I had a great time and I even spent like 3 days on the beach (although at the time, it was definitely awkward/constantly on my mind)... If i can make it in Hawaii I can make it anywhere right?

Comments, questions, advice, all appreciated!

[C_Jay]

Well if you have P-Gyne i thought that you could get rid of it by working out, losing weight, etc; am i wrong?  Anyway, if you feel as though its affecting your life(i assume it is) then i suggest getting the surgery; even though the cost might seem high i think we can all think back to our sadden emotional states' in where we would give ANYTHING to rid ourselves of our Gyne.  Goodluck bro, congrats on the vacation, your a brave man lol!  Oh and do not take your friends for granted, i know plenty of people who would have made it an issue on the beach; peace out bro.

[Jake]

C_Jay is right.  If you said you dropped weight but still had the breasts, it isn't pseudo-gynecomastia.  That is unless you only dropped enough weight to still be overweight, which may or may not be the case.  Either way, have you posted any pics?  They really help us determine what kind of situation you're in and we can offer some advice.

You sound like this isn't taking a HUGE toll on your life.  That's great!  It really is because so many of us think about it so much we become wrapped around it.  You sound like it is something you think about, but it's not going to take over your life.  Don't ever let it do that!

You've got great friends too!  Hold on to them.   

[rlc]

I feel your pain I am 35 and have lived with man boobs since I can remember.  When I was younger I thought as I got older that it would bother me less.  Since my Father had gyne and it never seemed to bother him. I inherited his body to a t (thanks dad)  Well it never got easier and seems to bother me worse now than it did then.  It wasn't until I went to Hawaii last september and looked at all the pics at the beach with my shirt on that I really started to consider surgery.  Reading these post bring back a lot of memories.  I've always been athletic so the whole shirts and skins games telling kids i burn easy so i had to wear a shirt when i went swimming, locker rooms all that fun stuff. Yesterday I finally decided to have the surgery done.  I am set up for April 6.  I'm worried about the results,  the doctor seems confident.  he is removing gland tissue and doing lipo.  I am worried if its going to be noticeable that I had surgery scars and all that good stuff.  I figure it will either be the best 6 grand I ever spent or a big waste.  Its a lot of money but I would recommend looking into it because you are young and it could change your life.  Just remember either way your family and true friends love you for who you are.  I have an amazing wife who is very supportive of which ever decision I made.  Although she will the only one who knows I had the procedure done.