Emotional breakdown last night...

[anonymous1]

I was talking to my dad on the phone last night.  He is out of town on business.  I have surgery set for Wed, and I found out that he had talked to my neighbor about my problem.  My neighbor(been a good friend for 10 years) basically told me that I didn't have anything to worry about, that I looked normal, etc. 

Well I was so upset at my dad for telling someone else about my problem that I burst out in tears and basically told him that it took alot for me to tell him about, let alone telling other people and that who I wanted to tell was my business and he should have stayed out of it.  He still didn't comprehend how much emotional damage I have from this affliction.

My 10th grade Gifted Algebra 2 teacher called me half girl and said I was a retard in front of a class of my gifted peers.  I was a straight A student until that point and then my grades dropped significantly.  I was no longer worried about school, I was worried about what others thought about me.  I wanted to commit suicide so many times because of that bastard teacher.  I vowed up and down that I would kill him.  It hurts me to this day to think about what he did to me, and he just stood at the front of the class with a satisfied grin on his face.  I honestly understood why kids shoot up schools, because of not a nice person peers and teachers. 

I cried for an hour talking to my dad and he finally understands.  I told him that this changed my life forever, I was a top swimmer in 8th grade, started on the football team as a safety, started on the soccer team as a forward.  I asked him why he thought I quit playing all those sports.  In 8th grade a parent on the sidelines said "Somebody get that boy a bra" and the opposing teams sideline was laughing at me.

I got a shotgun for my 11th birthday and I sat around trying to think of an excuse to have my dad unlock the safe so I could kill myself.  Now those days are over.  I let myself go through HS without physical activity.  Those days are over, I am back in shape and training to go out for my colleges football team as a free safety.  I spoke to the coach and he watched me lift and sprint.  He said if I could get my weight to 175 I'd have a fighting chance at playing.  I told my dad that this was it, a new start for my life and I am ready for this to happen.  Finally he understands the pain this has caused me.  He knew I was depressed and angry all the time through early HS, he couldn't understand why, but now he knows and finally understands and backs me in my decision to go through with this.  As of Wednesday the 13th, I am a new man. 

[NIN0808]

Sounds like Wednesday will be a turning POINT in your point life.
Something to think about, Have you forgive people like your teacher?

remember Forgiveness is something you do for yourself NOT for the other person.

Also FORGIVE means "to Release" in Hebrew.



 

[ozymandias]

Like the Phoenix, you will be reborn.  Life will change for you in less than a week!  Hang in there.

[anonymous1]

I can honestly never forgive that teacher for what he did to me.  It was completely uncalled for, not to mention unethical.  A 40 yr old man who a student is supposed to be able to look up to completely and blatantly trashing my personality in front of a group of my peers changed my life for the worse and sent me into terrible bouts of depression.  When I told my dad that, he told me he would do everything in his power for that guy to not have a job ever again as a teacher.  I'm not sure what I want to do in that situation, but I can say I would do anything to have at least 3 rounds in a cage with that mother fucker....

[Dave_8]

Dude what happened with that teacher was fucked! I know Highschool is so fucking depressing. I hate it so much. And I still got one year left of it. But I have great friends, good grades, and not thinking about shootin up the school. But damn man congrats with the surgery and hopefully everything goes well for you. Keep us posted on your progress and change of personality before and after the surgery. Goodluck.

[anonymous1]

I never thought about shooting up the school, I said I can understand what would make kids do that. My personality is good to go now, I have great friends, a great job, a positive outlook on life, committing to the Navy after college with hopes of being a SEAL, and loving college life.  It is just going to get that much better from here on out.  Looking back at everything as a whole caused alot of stress last night, but today I am ready to take charge of my life.

[booty_frijoles]

That's great man...really happy for you! I remember you saying your in Ga somewhere. What college are you attending? I'm at KSU...just wondering what team you're planning to play for.

[Cellar_Door]

Best of luck to you.

[Paa_Paw]

There is a very old story about Sir Winston Churchill. It seems a lady of nobility scolded him for being intoxicated. His response was to the effect that yes he was but that he was far more fortunate than was she. When she questioned his remark she wanted to know how he was more fortunate. He said, in effect, that she was homely, The next day he would awaken sober while she would still be homely.

In spite of his education, that teacher was an idiot. Surgery will relieve you of your problem, But he will still be an idiot. You are so much more fortunate than he.

[anonymous1]

Wow, that helped alot. Thank you Paw...

I am trying out for the Georgia State football team, it should be pretty easy to make it, all things considered and our first season isn't until 2010. 

[booty_frijoles]

Oh nice nice...KSU is catching up right along with you guys...we're planning on building a huge stadium soon and the team is in the works. Exciting stuff!

[Grandpa Bambu]

In 8th grade a parent on the sidelines said "Somebody get that boy a bra" and the opposing teams sideline was laughing at me.

Whoa dude, that's totally brutal...  I feel for ya broh!

GB...

[anonymous1]

Man it's over and that's all I am worried about now.  I was really lean in 8th grade so they were pretty obvious under a soccer jersey.  Then I gained weight and ppl noticed less, now I slimmed down and they are GONE!!!!  It is kinda surreal to look down and not see them, when I was used to seeing them everyday for the last 5-6 years.
 

[headheldhigh01]

not only that but a competent administration would have either suspended or fired his a$$ -- especially if threatened with a suit for harassment or distress. 

but like paa_paw said, he's the loser out of the deal.  forget it and walk on the better for having lived through the experience. 

[anonymous1]

We were being assigned groups and I was in a row with 2 other guys.  He said Ok then the last group is these 3 boys here, or actually two and a half.  He looked straight at me and just smiled while the class was like WTF?? and looked at me.  I never have told anyone before and that's why he still teaches there.  I was too embarrassed to say anything.