For anyone who reads this and responds, know that I am already grateful. I don't know who to talk to about this and its causing me serious psychological distress and paranoia. Please do not bash me about my choice to use pot or tamoxifen, but I am certainly welcome to constructive criticism based on experience or legitimate science.
Background: I am 19, began to notice gyne (hard lump) roughly a year ago occurring only under my right nipple. I am a vegetarian who eats a very healthy diet (lots of fruits/veggies, little processed foods, little dairy other than occasional lowfat yogurt). I have smoked marijuana since I was 13, with peak use around 16-18. No other consistent use of any drug, legal or otherwise. I do aerobic exercise often. I have been consistently getting leaner and more toned (someone said i had a "ripped core" the other day) over the last 6-8 months. When I was 14 i weighed 160 pounds; now at 19 i weigh 145. Surgery as of right now is simply not an option.
The girl im dating, my roommate, and my doctor have all said they have never noticed my unilateral gyne, and I feel like they are being honest. But it is most certainly there, I chose clothing to hide it, and I notice it every hour. I cannot tell at all whether my gyne is growing or just becoming more apparent as I burn fat. Two weeks ago I became so stressed that I ordered tamoxifen, and have been taking 20-30 mg a day for the last 10 days. At the same time ive lowered my calorie intake and have increased my exercise intensity and frequency. I would say I can notice a change, but as crazy as it sounds, I honestly cant tell whether its getting larger or smaller. My nipple appears to be sticking out more, but the region around the nipple that is affected appears to getting smaller in diameter. Based on this
http://www.riversideonline.com/source/images/image_popup/m7_gynecomastia.jpg i have hypothesized that I am burning the fat around the gland tissue, causing the nipple to appear more "pointy". My paranoia about whether or not the tamoxifen works/whether or not my gyne is growing is making my head hurt. I am upset that one tiny part of my otherwise very fit body is causing me to feel so much shame.
So ive laid it out there... any insight or advice would be extremely appreciated.
thanks