unhappy with my life

[samsungboy]

well i have been a lurker for a while and have decided to join.

i am from the uk and i am 32 years old , i have had the manboobs for as long as i can remember i am overweight but have always had them even when i weighed 14st and was 6ft2.

this has destroyed my confidence to the point i feel less worthy of happiness compared to others.
i have never had a girlfriend and have had very few sexual experiences.
i remember as an early 20 something when i tried to chat some girls up they touched my breasts and laughed in my face this totally destroyed what little confidence i had.

i just want to be a normal guy with a girlfriend and feel happy about myself.

[absec9]

1.  Get gyno surgery, it'll be worth the cost.

2. Start working out.

Do these two things and I know life will get better!

[usmc03]

If the way you are feeling is ONLY as a result of your "man boobs" then your problem can be solved. If you are feeling depressed as result of other issues (not your gynecomastia) then you should seek counseling.

Concering your "man boobs." The solution is simple. Save some money and have the surgery. Problem solved. I am 35 years old, had surgery for my "man boobs" one week ago. I feel great!

hope this helps

bobbyg

[Paa_Paw]

In my twenties, I dated a very cute but flat chested young lady who actually had breasts smaller than mine. The breast issue was really not an issue at all. If you are allowing the breast issue to keep you from romance, you are indeed your own worst enemy. For any young lady worth your time, what is going on between your ears will be more important than what is on your chest.

[Sharky]

Go for the surgery. I have had the problem for over 40 years and will have surgery by the end of the month. I went to a GP when I was 31 - he asked me if I had had breast enlargement. Destroyed me for 20 years, that did. Time have changed, my GP now is brilliant. I can ID any depression I had, even just feeling low to G. Ask your GP for a blood test - I have low testosterone which will be sorted with a few jabs each year, but you need to find out why it happend, if you can. I left it too late and cannot have children - it is probably Kleinfelters syndrome but I won't know for sure until August. Earlier intervention would have helped and prevented any problems which I may now encounter in later life. Go do it. If the problem id medical the the NHS may even pay for the surgery.

[thetodd]

Get the surgery, seriously!

On the girl front, If you want to learn how to chat up girls and how to have a meaningfull relationship there's loads of stuff on the internet but this is what i reccomend

Buy "The Game"
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Game-Neil-Strauss/dp/1841957739

You need to find your inner confidence gyne is a psycological thing trust me people dont notice it as much as you think!

start feeling good about yourself there is absolutley no need for you not to have met a girl by now. But only you can change this and you will need to make changes to your lifestyle and way of thinking. Once you have the inner confidence you are sorted!

[Grandpa Bambu]

You need to find your inner confidence gyne is a psycological thing trust me people dont notice it as much as you think!
start feeling good about yourself there is absolutley no need for you not to have met a girl by now.

The problem is (as you are probably already aware) that most guys with G hate the condition. If you don't love 'yourself' then it's difficult to think that anyone else will either...

As Grandpa Dan pointed out, the G sufferer needs to find a woman who loves him for who he is... and not for how he looks... However, on the 'soul mate' search, we run into very shallow and uncaring women who laugh at, and make fun of, our m(o)(o)bs... This makes us want to say "What's the point?" We make the effort, let our guard down and hope 'this one' will be different... Hearing things like "OMG!!! Want to borrow my bra?" looking at you with that 'Demonic Smile', is a TOTAL confidence killer... How many times would one want to put themselves through that torture???

Sure, it's easy for one to say "C'mon mate, have a bit of confidence". Putting it into practice is a different story...

One of man's worst fears is to be publically laughed at and/or embarrassed... Why do you think people years ago, used public humiliation as a means of crime punishment. Humiliation is a very powerful emotion. Nobody likes to be humiliated, and most will avoid it at any cost...

GB...

[thetodd]

Reading the game will help him find his inner confidence. its the bible in the world of pickup

just read the section about Tom Cruise, being small is a major turn off for girls and its a problem that cant be fixed. How does tom cruise and all of those small guys you see with pretty girls get them ... by blanking it out and having no barriers. How did he get famous? by being confident. I used to have inner anxiety problems with girls when i was around 16 but my brother pointed me into the direction of this book and ive reccomended it to every single one of my mates. Everyone has their way of battling anxiety and there are methods of beating it.

Theres loads of reasons why gyne really messes up your game with women, mainly because of body language/position. Most guys with gyne have a sort of hunch so their chest doesnt stick out. Even after surgery i had to practice my posture and watching jude law in alfie was ultimatley what done it for me

Some girls took the piss out of you for having moobs, but so what? Move onto the next set! What does hiding away do ... leaves you lonley! You need to take your negative memories and turn them into positive ones think of all the compliments youve had over your life and forget comments from a group of pissed up girls getting defensive.

some girls took the mick out of me when i had gyne, but loads didnt ... and those are the girls i remember

gl mate

[Grandpa Bambu]

I'm sure some girls are not into short men... However, how can you compare being short, to having male breasts... Being 'short' is socially acceptable... A guy having boobs (for the majority) isn't...

GB...

[thetodd]

What im saying is its his confidence thats holding him back, when i had gyne i had some really nice girlfriends and ultimatley i decided that it was holding me back to much and i got the surgery. I know lads with severe cases of gyne with fit girlfriends and i know short lads with fit girlfriends. But i also know lads who are great looking with perfect pecs who have no success with girls

it isnt down to autism or lack of social skills. its because they are just not comforable around girls ... which is what this guy isnt! Having surgery isnt going to be a magic fix hes now mentally affected by it he will look fine but in his head he wont be. You ask a girl what the biggest turn off for blokes and i can gurantee you that none of them say "moobs" but the vast majority will say "small blokes". Which is why most short lads are so cocky "life of the party" and it works cause girls like fun and confident blokes

There is NO NEED to suffer with gyne, you can get the surgery and i say go for it 100% but you need to sort out your inner confidence, because its not going to be fixed with surgery! If you want help with it trust me read, The Game!   

[samsungboy]

Thank you for your previous replies. basically my life took a turn for the worse and i ended up even more depressed and suffering from anxiety.  i left my job in 2011 and have not worked since apart from a job in 2014 where i lasted only 2 weeks before leaving again.
The thought of hitting 40 and still in the place i was when i was 20 is sickening to me but exactly a year ago i started to try and lift myself out of my prison of depression and negativity. 
started lifting the weights and exercising i managed to drop just over 70lbs in 9 months. but then depression took over again for a couple of months. thankfully january i started again and hoping to lose another 40lbs by june ish.
my manboobs are smaller but cant be sure if they will ever go completly.  hoping to get to 12 to 14 bodyfat or less if possible.

basically i wanted to be sorted before 40 , sad i know but at least i am trying.

[Paa_Paw]

Welcome back and congratulations on the weight loss.  Grandpa Bambu has not been active with the site for some time,  Like most people who have had a good surgical experience, He gradually lost interest.
If the services of a counselor are available, use them. Dealing with the emotional issues is much harder than dealing with the breast enlargement itself for many men. 
Weight loss alone does not usually do the job to a man's satisfaction.....  But it does help to be in good condition when and if you do decide to have surgery. 

[samsungboy]

Thanks 

i may need the surgery but will get to a acceptable body fat percentage first and see how i look. i am still 30% bodyfat even after 70lbs lost 
you can barely tell i have a chest under my clothes now. 
weight loss alone does not repair all the issues but i feel much better about myself for giving it ago instead of accepting how i look. 

[HairyKnockers]

Abraham Lincoln said, “I have noticed that most people in this world are about as happy as they have made up their minds to be.”  While that may simply sound like a platitude I have found that it is really the truth.   Lincoln suffered many tragedies in life and suffered at times from depression but by most accounts was a relatively happy and positive person.  I found that when I was depressed willing myself to be happy and looking at that the half full side of the glass really does help.

You have many things to be happy about; the terrific work you have done to lose weight and I wish I was going to be 40 that was a long time ago for me.  I bet Paa_Paw wishes he was going to be 40 too; he is even older than I am and I am older than dirt!  Don’t waste your 40’s they are pretty good years.

[hammer]

HairyKnockers is right, the class half full is the best way to look at all things!  Everyone gets down and needs to have reminders that they have to see things in a new light. MySelf included! When I head out to somewhere I need to use a power wheelchair to go anywhere of any distance, but I'm thankful that I can still walk out to the garage to get into my truck and go! Or even better then that, I can still walk to the toilet and not be stuck in the wheelchair peeing in a bag!

After having 8 surgeries I find that it is much better to look at that class as half full, and enjoy the finer things in life, even if that is just hearing a song bird singing on a beautiful spring morning, know that I have another day to look forward to of being a father to my children, and a grandfather to my grandkids!

There is so much that life has to offer, you just need to step out there and live it, and not let anything get in your way!