Going on a 5th date...

[amethyst tint]

OK, so I've started dating someone and we seem to get along pretty well. We still haven't had sex, although I've stayed over at her place. I'm trying to figure out what to do when that moment arrives.

My sense is that it's probably best if I just act normal and try not to worry about it. I've been with a couple of women since the onset of the G and neither has said anything. The weird thing is that when we go on dates, I've been wearing a Design Veronique undershirt, which does a good job of concealing the problem. Basically, you don't notice a thing when I'm wearing it under clothing. However, my gyne, while relatively mild, is noticeable (at least to me) when I have my shirt off.

The other catch is that I'm considering having surgery this spring - if I do, I'm going to look different afterwards (and may have some minor scars), and I'll be wearing a compression vest for a while.

So, at what point (if any) do I fess up that I have the condition? Part of me is tempted not to date at all until I deal with the issue, but I'm in my late 30s and don't want to put my life on hold - it's already been 7 months since the problem started. And I like the person I'm seeing, although it's still early days.
 

[Anon E Mouse]

I have always found that straight-up honesty truly is the best policy. If she's at all the girl you hope she is she will not only understand and not be put-off, she will likely think more of you for thinking enough of her to confide in her.

Anon

[thetodd]

Just dont worry about taking your shirt off, she'l think its her if you hold it off!

I doubt she'l mention it or notice it, as for surgery i always say no-one needs to know apart from close family. Its difficult to say because women tend to chat to their mates about things (not with bad intentions) and then everyone knows. Id just tell her when its nearing the time of your op dont not date her because you will end up regretting it.

Just make it clear that you dont want anyone to know about it!