Hello all,
It's been awhile since I've been on this forum, but not much has changed. I'm 22 years old and I am still suffering from pubertal gynecomastia that developed when I was a young boy. They said it would go away. I've always been embarrassed about about my chest but it seems like my metal state is beginning to deteriorate. I feel like every time I turn i'm being invited to go hot tubbing with sexy girls or go to my friends pool that is about to open up, or take a trip to the beach with a bunch of people..this has just been in the past few weeks.. and 10 times out of 10 I decline with little or no excuse simply because I'm to afraid to see how people will react to my enlarged breast. My condition is somewhat minor compared to some, but since I already have a small build and mostly glandular, my body still looks strangely feminine especially when next to someone with a normal chest.
I've decided enough is enough. I'm not going to live another year this way. This is honestly the most important thing in my entire life. I'm really not conceited, but unless you've suffered from having 'moobs' growing up into your adult hood, you will never understand.
In the past year i've been running and lifting a lot. I've noticed a definite change in my chest. My nipples are more puffy and my chest seemingly sticks out more, but mostly around the nipples. I knew this would happen, but honestly working out is the only thing that really makes me feel good inside..besides drugs and alcohol..and that shit is getting really old and I'm ready to pursue a professional career. btw my gyno was fully developed and permanent before I had ever touched a joint or drank a beer..
Two years ago, after a bad encounter with a girl, I went to see one of the doctors commonly seen on the forum. Although I'm sure his work is good, the price was staggering, completely out of my range and unattainable without massive debt+interest that would probably cripple me financially for decades. I sunk into a deep depression, while still doing well in school, I began abusing drugs and losing a sense of ambition for myself and my life. My mind has become sick and I am constantly living in fear that people will think I'm feminine or that people will notice my chest. I'm starting to generally not like people even my own friends... I'm afraid to talk to girls that I KNOW like me because I know it will only lead to them discovering my condition. I've been avoiding relationships for two years now and I reallllly want some you know what... Having boobs takes a toll on my confidence in all areas of life and I feel that until this is fixed, I will never succeed.
I make decent money for only have a HS diploma, I've been able to pay my way through two years at a community college. I've decided before I finish school my first financial priority must be surgery. I went to see a local doctor at the county hospital. I do know he is board certified and has achieved recognition in a magazine for being on a list of top surgeons. I'm still very nervous. He gave me a offer just shy of 4,000...that is not even half the cost the other doctor suggested. I've seen pictures of his work, and I really have no reason to believe he is any better or worse then any other accredited professional. He seems to have worked on a wide range of gyno sufferers and seemed very confident in himself. I hear stories of cratering and them fucking it up worse, but even if he isn't the best doctor, I really believe (hope) this won't happen, even if he isn't one of the doctors commonly spoken about as being the best on here.
I am a business major, and we have to remember, the people on this forum are only a small fraction of the population who suffer. The doctors on here have done a damn good job promoting themselves, while also attaining and maintaining a flow of many customers, which then contributes to their experience giving them more confidence and more reliability in their own work to continue to promote as being 'the best' It then becomes a cycle that is rooted in their own business model to give them an edge against their competitors who are equally as skilled, but do not promote by means of internet forums, but that's just my perspective.
Anyways my surgery is scheduled for July 16. Sadly not in time for this summer, but better sooner than later. I have a beach trip I'm planning in September, first time since 01 (I still had gyne at the time but I never really had my shirt off).. will I be healed in time? I'm spending a huge amount of money in my eyes and even had to get a loan from my parents for something that would seem dumb or petty to most people. To me, I feel like I MUST do this now because a few years down the road, I may not have the resources I do now. I'd rather be poor and at least love myself then to put this off and focus on a career and not be able to enjoy the best years of my life.. I have yet to pay, but have 90% of the money and am planning to fork up the cash the first of the month.. I'm worried that my doctor may not be the best, but I just don't care. I have to do this. I just don't see how this can be any worse. I'm done feeling like a freak, feeling feminine, feeling depressed, feeling suicidal, and most importantly being shy in any situation where others may publicly view my chest.
What do you all think? Any comments are welcomed and thanks for taking the time to read my story.
Topic: been almost two years.. (Read 1879 times)
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