What to do

[DbljB]

Hi, little history had gyno since I was 12, and have a scale 3 case.  I am now 27.  Just came out and told my family about it and showed pictures. They could not believe what I had been hiding. I am having surgery this winter.  I am on here to ask for any advice on how to deal with the time between.  I have started having panic attack and just overwhelming feelings.  I think I am feeling these things cause so many old hurtful memories are coming back that have been kept way down.  I tried talking with a counselor,  but they want to put me on depression meds(and when I told them I had gynecomastia of course they had no clue what it was). I don't want to use meds to just mask this and get through it.  I've felt hopeless for the last good half of my life that things would never change. Now I have hope and something to work towards.  But its not something I've ever dealt with really.  It was the worst at the start of the summer as I do work outside all day around people.  Also, I live on an island Nantucket which is in the national top fitness of general population.  So physical image is a big deal.  I was really panicking about being in a t-shirt but got a garment from under-works, that works enough for me to be comfortable in a t-shirt(the best I can be).  But, if anyone has some suggestions it'd be greatly appreciated. It is really hard not having someone to talk to about this face to face who can understand.  This forum is my only life line left.


Thanks for taking your time to read this,

Josh

[hatemymoobs]

Welcome. We're always here for you, so post and you'll always have an understanding audience.
The underworks shirts are great. I just ordered 3 more (they stretch and lose their effect to an extent after a while) - but I wear tshirts I normally couldn't wear and stand taller. That's a good step because you'll feel more confident.

Have you chosen your surgeon yet?

I don't have much advice for dealing with the emotions involved- all I can say is you're not alone. I have my good days and I have my really bad days. For about 2-3 weeks straight a couple months ago I fell into a depression and it was just awful. Luckily I've pulled out and I'm doing a little better- but each day is different. I suppose, sadly, it could depend on what shirt I'm wearing and how well it covers it up! Who knows.

Hang in there bro- after you have surgery I'm sure, like most, you'll feel much better and you can start living your life again.

[DbljB]

I have noticed that the elasticity has gone down some and ordered another shirt.  I used to use ace bandages, and go through one a week.  So these shirt are umpteenth times better then that hassle.

And, yes I have picked out a surgeon Dr. David Silverman, he was listed on this site.  Being close to my location and seeing before and after pic of what he's done.  I feel very confident that he is my best choice. Also he has been a great help in the financial part of things as I was not approved for a loan and don't have the full $8,500.

I am taking it one day at a time. My biggest problem is not keeping my mind occupied on other thoughts.  Driving between job-sites is usually when I have time to think, that is when it really gets me. And, its not everyday as you said that I have a bad day.  But the answer to my main problem is in sight and I just want this summer to hurry and end.

Before my consolation with Dr. Silverman I had a hard time accepting that this wasn't something that was my fault.  I put a lot of blame on myself that I caused it, and after seeing the Dr. and knowing that being 150lbs with gyno is not my fault( and relatively good shape otherwise).  Also, finding out that it is a serious case and not pseud was a big relief. I just have to get it through my head that its not my fault.( I'm about 70% there) I just really cant wait for Nov.  My job is seasonal, so I will be laid-off collecting with no other obligations.  That is why this winter is the perfect time to make this happen. I have a room set aside at my sisters where I can recover and make the best of my time off till next April.

If anyone has any input on what it's like after surgery.(I'll read elsewhere on the forums also as I'm sure there are some posts) As far as how long does it take to realize you are normal-er. I know everyone is different in how this has effected them.  And, I don't expect to wake up and everything to be magically all better.  But, this is the biggest step I need to take to turn my life around so I can start to have a live I feel worth living.  I have missed out on so many things because of this and there are many things I am going to have to try for the first time.

I do find hope in there will be better days.  I just think of what is going to be like to feel one t-shirt on, when someone looks to read my company name on my shirt not think they are looking at my chest sticking out. Simply taking a shower without the everyday reminder of what gyno is. I wish I had looked into this sooner, because I did have the money years ago, but that's then this is now.  Sorry if I am rambling on but even just typing out helps, and knowing there is someone/other people out there who do struggle with similar things.

I am very glad I found this site. But, it does make me sad/mad that there is so little info on this almost taboo subject. And even someone who has a doctorate and treats people with problems has never heard or learned about it. And I hope after my surgery I can be of help to someone else in this situation.  I feel like if I don't make some effort to bring awareness to this condition it would be selfish.  No one should be alone and ashamed.  There needs to be more education and awareness about this.  But, that's getting to far ahead of myself, something I am too good at doing.


Thanks for your reply, and any others to come.  Thanks for taking your time to read my sh-peel,


Josh