I enjoy my breasts - How do I get my family to accept them

[Chicago]

Raider

You spend so much time pointing fingers at people here. You need to look at yourself and deal with whatever emotional pain you have.

Back to the original topic, I really think that when someone loves you, they accept and LOVE all of you.

[Chicago]

Know-one is making you read nor post here, ty.

"Know-one?"  Wow.....how did you get to be a moderator when you have such poor spelling skills?  It's not very professional appearing.  BTW, your decision making abilities are equal to your spelling skills, IMO.    

I'd write more on this subject but the "global moderator" is now censoring me.  You guys are free to write what you want, however, so feel free to continue your personal attacks. Apparently, as long as everyone agrees that wives and family members should all love big boobs on a man, and they all have an OBLIGATION to love your abnormality, you can attack people however you want on this thread if they dare disagree.  I disagree with that so I am being censored and my posts are being deleted.  I am not allowed to enter into the discussion.  So I guess there's nothing else to discuss.  You guys can now preach to the choir all you want.  Congrats!

BTW, global moderator, when you edit, censor or delete someone's post, you are supposed to send them notification of your action via PM.  You're not supposed to simply do what you want and never say anything about it.  This is considered good moderating etiquette so please stop the surprise deletions without notifying me as to what you did, and why. 

How does criticizing someones spelling, help? How does saying someone is lying, help? How are you above all these rules you like to spell out?

My final question is how is someone barely out of highschool such a regarded expert that we should all throw away our years of experience based on your opinions you consider fact?

[Miguel Delgado MD]

Gentlemen, I think you have all stated your point of view and I ask that you all remain respectful to each other and those who read these posts.
Miguel Delgado, Jr. M.D.

[Raider Fan]

Please note that my last post was deleted again without notification, just as I said it would be.

[Paa_Paw]

All humans have breasts and prior to puberty there is virtually no difference regardless of gender.

Then puberty starts and the whole picture changes. Most of the girls have significant breast enlargement. But there are some who remain quite flat chested. Most of the boys ultimately finish puberty flat chested but some have significant breast enlargement. Believe it or not, almost  all of the above are actually quite normal. There are the occasional cases where some kind of pathology causes the breast to grow but in the absence of pathology breast growth is statistically normal in most cases.

Getting others to accept it is like getting them to accept you if you have red hair and freckles. People get teased for that too you know.

Accept yourself. If someone else has problems with the fact that you have breasts,  it is their problem and you can do nothing to help them. Just see that their problem does not become your problem.

[Hidden4lyfe]

Raider has a point guys. Your wife could love you all she wants but doesn't like men with breast. Nothing wrong with that just like us guys have our preferences with women. She should "tolerable" them and perhaps accept them but she doesn't have to love them. You can't make someone love something. It would all just be a lie. Raider was just a little too blunt about it though.

[Chicago]

Raider has a point guys. Your wife could love you all she wants but doesn't like men with breast. Nothing wrong with that just like us guys have our preferences with women. She should "tolerable" them and perhaps accept them but she doesn't have to love them. You can't make someone love something. It would all just be a lie. Raider was just a little too blunt about it though.

Thats only true if the only thing that is important is physical attributes. Plenty of married partners have something happen, either naturally or externally, that changes their physical form from what they were when they were originally married. Most would consider those things not "deal breakers".

[Anon E Mouse]

"I have gynomastia and my breasts have grown from a flat chest to a size 38B in four months and are still growing. I have started loving wearing a bra. How do I get my wife to accept that I have gynomastia and enjoy it. She is in self denial and tells it is only fat tissue - which it is not."

I see two different questions here. The first is how you might be able to convince your wife that you have gynecomastia (a true medical condition), rather than just excess fat. Education is your only real option. Get her the facts on it truly existing as a medical condition from reputable medical sources, be honest with her about the factual basis for your belief that your condition IS gynecomastia and not fat, and have everything confirmed fact-to-face with your doctor. Then, give her time to process all that information and come to terms with it. Our wives are generally no more prepared mentally or emotionally for their men to have breasts than we are prepared to grow them.

The second may actually be more difficult. Getting your wife to accept (in a positive sense rather than acceptance as merely a matter of fact), your enjoyment in having breasts may likely stretch her personal understanding and views of acceptable norms. If so, that's a much more difficult issue to work through especially if your goal is her (positive) acceptance of your enjoyment in having breasts. Any attempt to try and force that issue is quite likely to backfire.

Generally speaking, I would venture that many of us are conflicted about our breasts. On one hand, we're men with all the stereotypically held conventions of what physical manhood means. That understanding doesn't include growing breasts of our own. Gynecomastia directly challenges our understanding of physical manhood and our conformity to that understanding. Why shouldn't we expect our gynecomastia to equally challenge our wives understanding of physical manhood as well? That's why it may be much easier to for her to accept your gynecomastia as a true medical condition than for her to accept that you actually enjoy your breasts. (Note that I'm not saying that you shouldn't enjoy them, just that she may not understand that.)

In my own experience, I found a certain novelty in my newly forming breasts. All the sensations were new, and as they grew larger I found wearing a bra to be much more comfortable than not wearing one. Of course, I still had to work through the I'm a guy and this is a bra, thing. You state that you've only had them for about 4-months. This is unlikely enough time for you to truly come to terms with all the changes physically and mentally and what they will mean long-term for you and for her. Give yourself time to adapt to the novelty of the new additions, and give her time to process the reality of your first question (gynecomastia or fat). I doubt that she is likely to feel very positive about your enjoying having breasts until she understands the reality of why you have them. Only then are you likely to be able to help her understand why you enjoy having breasts in a way that she will understand. Of course, you must honestly understand why you enjoy them before you can convey that to her in any meaningful way.

In the end, she may find that she can accept the fact that you have them (as a medical condition), but not be able to accept that you actually enjoy having them. Nor should you require her to. It doesn't mean that she doesn't love you and you shouldn't take it that way. It just means that she is unable to understand your enjoyment of your breasts. She may be able to work through all this in time, but I would strongly caution you against pushing it.

Anon

[Bman41]

Well said...  I am around a 40 nearly C to 42B and I can't image NOT wearing one, but hate wearing one.  I tried one day driving across town (10 miles) with my wife, I couldn't take the pain, it started hurting in about 4 miles enough I needed to hold my breast to stop it.  Since I have worn an athletic/sports bra daily, I have been 100% pain free.  But it is frustrating.  I hope if I get some more weight lost it will make a diff, but so far any weight lost hasn't reduced my breast size, just down a band size, but the rest is the same around. 

"I have gynomastia and my breasts have grown from a flat chest to a size 38B in four months and are still growing. I have started loving wearing a bra. How do I get my wife to accept that I have gynomastia and enjoy it. She is in self denial and tells it is only fat tissue - which it is not."

I see two different questions here. The first is how you might be able to convince your wife that you have gynecomastia (a true medical condition), rather than just excess fat. Education is your only real option. Get her the facts on it truly existing as a medical condition from reputable medical sources, be honest with her about the factual basis for your belief that your condition IS gynecomastia and not fat, and have everything confirmed fact-to-face with your doctor. Then, give her time to process all that information and come to terms with it. Our wives are generally no more prepared mentally or emotionally for their men to have breasts than we are prepared to grow them.

The second may actually be more difficult. Getting your wife to accept (in a positive sense rather than acceptance as merely a matter of fact), your enjoyment in having breasts may likely stretch her personal understanding and views of acceptable norms. If so, that's a much more difficult issue to work through especially if your goal is her (positive) acceptance of your enjoyment in having breasts. Any attempt to try and force that issue is quite likely to backfire.

Generally speaking, I would venture that many of us are conflicted about our breasts. On one hand, we're men with all the stereotypically held conventions of what physical manhood means. That understanding doesn't include growing breasts of our own. Gynecomastia directly challenges our understanding of physical manhood and our conformity to that understanding. Why shouldn't we expect our gynecomastia to equally challenge our wives understanding of physical manhood as well? That's why it may be much easier to for her to accept your gynecomastia as a true medical condition than for her to accept that you actually enjoy your breasts. (Note that I'm not saying that you shouldn't enjoy them, just that she may not understand that.)

In my own experience, I found a certain novelty in my newly forming breasts. All the sensations were new, and as they grew larger I found wearing a bra to be much more comfortable than not wearing one. Of course, I still had to work through the I'm a guy and this is a bra, thing. You state that you've only had them for about 4-months. This is unlikely enough time for you to truly come to terms with all the changes physically and mentally and what they will mean long-term for you and for her. Give yourself time to adapt to the novelty of the new additions, and give her time to process the reality of your first question (gynecomastia or fat). I doubt that she is likely to feel very positive about your enjoying having breasts until she understands the reality of why you have them. Only then are you likely to be able to help her understand why you enjoy having breasts in a way that she will understand. Of course, you must honestly understand why you enjoy them before you can convey that to her in any meaningful way.

In the end, she may find that she can accept the fact that you have them (as a medical condition), but not be able to accept that you actually enjoy having them. Nor should you require her to. It doesn't mean that she doesn't love you and you shouldn't take it that way. It just means that she is unable to understand your enjoyment of your breasts. She may be able to work through all this in time, but I would strongly caution you against pushing it.

Anon

[PETER18]

I TO HAVE DEVELOPED BREAST DUE TO MEDICINE I AM TAKING.BEING AN OLDER MAN AND MARRIED,IT WAS A LITTLE STRANGE.ONE DAY WHILE MAKING LOVE WITH MY SPOUSE,I BEGAN TO FEEL A JOYOUS SENSATION WHEN MY WIFE FONDLED MY BREASTS.I LOVED THE FEELING.ORGASM WAS REALLY GREAT.
AS THEY GOT LARGER AND MORE FEMININE IN SHAPE,MY WIFE OFFERED ME A SPORTS BRA OF HERS.IT HELPED WITH PAIN AND SUPPORT.WEEKS LATER WE WERE IN THE MALL,AND SHE SAID LETS GO BUY YOU A NICE BRA.WOW WHAT A THRILL!!!!!WE PICKED OUT A SEXY BRA.I ONLY WEAR IT AROUND THE HOUSE.UNFORTUNATELY I NEVER WEAR A BRA OUTSIDE,FOR FEAR IF ANYTHING HAPPENED,SOMEONE WOULD SEE MY SECRET.THAT TRULY SUCKS!!!!
I WISH WE LIVED IN A MORE ENLIGHTENED SOCIETY.BE UPFRONT WITH YOUR SPOUSE AND TRUST IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP.ASK HER TO TOUCH AND CARESS YOUR BREASTS,SHE MAY LIKE IT.GOOD LUCK.

[Raider Fan]

I guess anything could be construed as "normal" or "ok" by those doing it.  

[gotgyne]

I TO HAVE DEVELOPED BREAST DUE TO MEDICINE I AM TAKING.BEING AN OLDER MAN AND MARRIED,IT WAS A LITTLE STRANGE.ONE DAY WHILE MAKING LOVE WITH MY SPOUSE,I BEGAN TO FEEL A JOYOUS SENSATION WHEN MY WIFE FONDLED MY BREASTS.I LOVED THE FEELING.ORGASM WAS REALLY GREAT.
AS THEY GOT LARGER AND MORE FEMININE IN SHAPE,MY WIFE OFFERED ME A SPORTS BRA OF HERS.IT HELPED WITH PAIN AND SUPPORT.WEEKS LATER WE WERE IN THE MALL,AND SHE SAID LETS GO BUY YOU A NICE BRA.WOW WHAT A THRILL!!!!!WE PICKED OUT A SEXY BRA.

In my opinion there is nothing wrong with such emotions and feelings. And the reaction of your wife couldn't be better. So go for it!

I ONLY WEAR IT AROUND THE HOUSE.UNFORTUNATELY I NEVER WEAR A BRA OUTSIDE,FOR FEAR IF ANYTHING HAPPENED,SOMEONE WOULD SEE MY SECRET.THAT TRULY SUCKS!!!!
I WISH WE LIVED IN A MORE ENLIGHTENED SOCIETY.BE UPFRONT WITH YOUR SPOUSE AND TRUST IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP.ASK HER TO TOUCH AND CARESS YOUR BREASTS,SHE MAY LIKE IT.GOOD LUCK.

Absolutely no need to worry! The ER staff is familiar with such 'little secrets'. You're not the first man who wears such garments.

John

[gotgyne]

I guess anything could be construed as "normal" or "ok" by those doing it.

You're right. At first I also used these 'constructions'. I was looking for a kind of permission for wearing a bra instead of choosing surgery. But surgery was no option to me. Then I realized that - if my wife is okay with it - I didn't need any permit. Yes it is strange at first to take the step from acceptance to enjoyment. But now I'm more than comfortable with my breasts. Meanwhile it is irrelevant to me if other people except my wife look at it as normal or not. I'm neither a CEO nor in a prominent or public position.

John