A life of gyne

[Stan19]

Hi guys, been reading here for a few months now. Had gyne for around 30yrs since i was about 12. Never really bothered me in the early years but in the last few years its been at the front of my mind all the time. Always been in decent shape 6ft 14st. You lads on here are a real inspiration to get something done. My condition is similar to Glenjammin's so it's always been difficult to hide. The main problem is i cannot tell anyone, the shame and embarassment is just too much. How can i explain a night away, a binder, a fortnight off work "injured" etc. Also am i too old to expect a decent result in relation to the cost? Any help/advice would be really appreciated  thanks

[Glennjamin]

Hey Stan,

Well the first thing you've done is made a step to post about it, so that's a start you care enough to do something about it. Secondly, if it's hanging in your mind that much that you're here, it's enough of a problem for you that it matters. Many people I told after I booked my surgery (only a handful of close people) accepted my decision but genuinely didn't know I had this problem...a crazy concept for us when it's so bloody obvious right?

You don't need to tell anyone, sure. But if you make that final decision you're going to do it, telling people is easier. You accept the problem, you've got a plan to fix it, and you're going to be in control of your own life. I didn't really ever have that energy until after my consultation, I think the problem exists in our minds for so long the reality of a fix seems untouchable. Seeing a recommended surgeon turns it into something real. Sure you might decide you don't want to go ahead after, but I think you might be able to find a way to do this after a consultation.

And find a way is the most important thing. I don't wish to label your reasoning for not doing this as excuses but they are all overcomeable I assure you. The surgery & the week off work, book annual leave for a week. Discuss options with your GP about a medical note after that 1 week off, or book a fortnight off. The binder is easily hidden under clothing, you walk a bit stiff but people here say things like you pulled your back and you're stiff or wearing strapping.

At 30 you're still way young enough to get a full recovery like I've had, especially when it's all glandular, there is less disruption with the cannulars taking out the fat, of which you will inevitably have a small amount. As you know, it does cost but you have one body and one first chance, it's worth paying the best guys for the job for your own piece of mind / best outcome.

But yeah, I think taking a serious approach to a consultation is your next step. All those other worries aren't important for now, they can be worked out. One thing at a time.

Glenn

[Stan19]

Thanks Glenn positive advice. Firstly congratulations on your surgery fantastic result you must be really pleased. How is your recovery going? If i had a result anything near like yours i would be thrilled.  Your right its absurd that no one else seems to notice this problem even our close ones!  I absolutely do want surgery the only thing thats stopping me is telling close family and my results due to age ( 42 ).  Lived with it for 30 years. I didn't even know about surgery until last year. If i could do it without telling anyone i would go immediately.  Its definately glandular and fat with my right side slightly bigger than the left. I could book 2 wks annual leave from work so thats not a problem but i just can't bear the thought of telling anyone. It would be virtually impossibe for me to this without having to tell people. Has anyone else on here had it done covertly?  Any advice will be appreciated.                                                                                                                                             Regards Stan.

[scotty1986]

I believe after reading the thread by AchillesUK, he had it done covertly. I thought about doing it like that as well but realised it was just wasn't possible in my living situation at least. I agree the hardest part is telling people (who you can't hide it from at least) you are getting it done...But I found that the embarrassment is self-created and using different language such as 'I have a condition where the gland has grown too big in my chest so I'm getting it cut out' was the easiest way of putting it. In my case it was less the embarrassment, but some of my family tend to worry so I didn't want to put anything extra on their plate. I completely get where you are coming from and wish you the best whichever way you decide to do it.

[Stan19]

Thankyou scotty. Yes i've read achillesuk's story its a brilliant thread. I think to do it covertly is virtually impossible unless you live alone. Your suggestion on the use of different language is a helpfull idea so thanks again. This is a major hurdle for me to get over at the moment and untill i do i'm sort of stuck. Have you manage to book your op yet?

[scotty1986]

Yes mate I am going in, in 4 weeks. It was really hard telling the people who had to know but the relief when it's off your chest is huge. I think I had  to accept that without making difficult and really hard decisions like this, then nothing would ever change...And life can't be a calm sea all the time. Putting it across as a medical condition albeit not life-threatening rather than a cosmetic treatment was the best way of doing it. The quote, ''nothing worth doing is easy'' is probably relative.

[Sid Farkus]

Hi Stan,

I concur with everything Scotty told you. I finally had my surgery 4 weeks ago at 38 years old, and I've seen plenty of people on here getting it done in their 40s.

Until a few months ago I was in your position with regard to getting surgery. I had read on every surgeon's website that you needed a "friend or family member" to pick you up and tend to you the day of the operation and that was a no go for me. I tortured myself over this for a while. Ultimately, I saw that the surgeon I was considering had plan for out of town patients, which included setting you up at a nearby hotel that provides a shuttle to his surgery center and they set you up with a caretaker for your post-op care. It was more expensive, but it allowed me to work out a way to get the whole thing done covertly, and my surgery involved lipso on the abs/flanks which required more downtime. Just gyne should be easy in comparison.

I decided to go with the hernia excuse to explain my absence from work, limited mobility and the best and it worked fine. Just in case, I did a ton of research in hernias, but no one peppered me with questions. No one can see my vest under a shirt. The big test was encountering one particularly nosy co-worker, who has a specific interest in people's weight among other personal matters. He didn't seem to care much about my "hernia" and didn't seem to notice my chest. It helps that I've been wearing hoodies and such.

Anyway, I ultimately didn't keep it a complete secret. I ended up telling a close friend because I couldn't bring myself to lie to her (it helped that I was really drunk), but telling someone made a huge difference. Now, I'm pretty open to telling the truth about it under certain circumstances. But, for you, there's no need to think about that right now.

Go ahead and contact a surgeon. Many will do the consultation for free via email and phone. You could get the ball rolling in just 20 minutes. Take a few pics, email them to a few surgeons and wait for them to contact you. Then see where it goes from there.

Best of luck!

[Stan19]

Hi Sid.                                                                                                                                                                            The reply button is back on. I wrongly presumed you were in the UK and i meant Dr not Mr levick i was posting after a long night shift. Yes i've made the decision to go for it. I will book a consultation with Dr levick when i've told my close ones, which i'll try to do asap, it's just a case of finding the right moment. I have a few other things to factor in, like time off work so its going to be later rather than sooner this year. Plus i really dont fancy the binder thing that Dr levick provides and a compression vest during summertime. How long after your op did you have full mobility back? Because part of my job can be quite physical. Also on the day of your op could you of managed on your own? Are you pleased with your results to date?                                     Stan

[ha032742]

Male surgeons are always addressed as Mr in the United Kingdom and the Republic of Ireland. The tradition began in the 1800s as surgeons seldom had any formal qualifications compared to medical doctors who possessed a university degree.

[Sid Farkus]

Hi Sid.                                                                                                                                                                            The reply button is back on. I wrongly presumed you were in the UK and i meant Dr not Mr levick i was posting after a long night shift. Yes i've made the decision to go for it. I will book a consultation with Dr levick when i've told my close ones, which i'll try to do asap, it's just a case of finding the right moment. I have a few other things to factor in, like time off work so its going to be later rather than sooner this year. Plus i really dont fancy the binder thing that Dr levick provides and a compression vest during summertime. How long after your op did you have full mobility back? Because part of my job can be quite physical. Also on the day of your op could you of managed on your own? Are you pleased with your results to date?                                     Stan

Oh, I was just joking about Mr. Vs. Dr. (I googled the fascinating history of why it's different in the UK a while back after noticing it here). 

I had lipo on my midsection at the same time as the gyne op, so my experience was a bit different, but I'm just over 4 weeks post-op and still not supposed to be too active. I know right now I wouldn't feel comfortable lifting heavy things.

Day if the op my surgeon required me to have someone pick me up and be with me for the first night (I paid to have a nurse). I was definitely glad I had someone take care of me, although most of my pain was in the midsection.

I'm very happy with my results, especially the chest.