I feel botched (UPDATE: 14-15 months post-op)

[George Pope, M.D.]

Hellooo123, sorry to see that you've had such a tough time with this.  You have gotten some good words of encouragement from other guys on this thread.  The take home message is obviously to try to be as patient as you can.  Without sounding too condescending,  and I don't mean to, I find that the younger the patient, the harder it is to have patience after surgery.  Healing really takes a long time, and your body has a great way of healing itself over time.  
You mentioned that the cratering is more obvious with your arm elevated or when you flex. Contour irregularities always look worse when the skin is stretched out.  Take comfort in the fact that you are improving, as evidenced by your brother's reaction. This will get better. And if you need a little fat injection down the road, it's not going to be terrible. I was encouraged to read in an earlier post that you had decided not to look at your chest on a daily basis.  That's the right attitude.  People who fixate daily on a problem area like that tend to make themselves miserable.  I have women in my practice who use a 5X or a 10X mirror on a daily basis to look at imperfections in their facial skin.  There is nothing to be gained by this.  
Put this on your back burner for now, as there's nothing that can be done anytime soon.  One month postop is Really early when assessing a surgical result. Bring that extrovert back out and have a good time.  This will get better.
Dr. Pope, MD

[hellooo123]

[quote author=Dr. Pope link=topic=31643.msg202773#msg202773 date=1459414995]
Hellooo123, sorry to see that you've had such a tough time with this.  You have gotten some good words of encouragement from other guys on this thread.  The take home message is obviously to try to be as patient as you can.  Without sounding too condescending,  and I don't mean to, I find that the younger the patient, the harder it is to have patience after surgery.  Healing really takes a long time, and your body has a great way of healing itself over time.  
You mentioned that the cratering is more obvious with your arm elevated or when you flex. Contour irregularities always look worse when the skin is stretched out.  Take comfort in the fact that you are improving, as evidenced by your brother's reaction. This will get better. And if you need a little fat injection down the road, it's not going to be terrible. I was encouraged to read in an earlier post that you had decided not to look at your chest on a daily basis.  That's the right attitude.  People who fixate daily on a problem area like that tend to make themselves miserable.  I have women in my practice who use a 5X or a 10X mirror on a daily basis to look at imperfections in their facial skin.  There is nothing to be gained by this.  
Put this on your back burner for now, as there's nothing that can be done anytime soon.  One month postop is Really early when assessing a surgical result. Bring that extrovert back out and have a good time.  This will get better.
Dr. Pope, MD
[/quote]

Thank you for your response Dr. Pope, it really means a lot.

I have been feeling better since I haven't been looking at my chest in 20 days now so I don't know what exactly it looks like. But Sunday was my last day wearing the vest, however, and I can see more of how it looks through my clothes and while the cratering has improved with the lymphatic drainage massages, and I will co tongue to get them done, I am very concerned about my nipples as they stick out A LOT. My right nipple sticks out more than the left and feels like an ice cream cone. Its gross. This makes me frustrated and depressed because I feel like I will still be trapped in my spanx for the rest of my life even after getting this surgery so that my nipples aren't so obvious. 

In your experience, is this something that improves or worsens as times goes on and what can be done about this? Im very, very concerned. Thank you for your help!!!

[hellooo123]

OMG. I just looked at a photo of myself before lymphatic drainage massage and one of today this morning and I can not believe the difference! I hadn't looked at my chest in 20 days either in person or in pictures and I had NO IDEA I look like this now! My jaw literally dropped when I saw todays picture. I was crying and having a breakdown because I thought I looked deformed and my brother insisted I looked at them so I could see the progress I've had and I'm so happy I did! I thought I still looked like the before picture. The before picture was taken on March 19th and like I said the second one was today on April 6th. This is less than 3 weeks worth of improvement. I am beyond happy and speechless at the change. Im so excited to see even more improvement over the course of a month, two, three, four... a year!!! I look normal  yay. just wanted to share with everyone!

[flatness13]

That's great, man. Like I said a lot of people get optical illusions with irregular swelling and bruising patterns and looks like you will look great at rest for sure, have you been able to see how it looks when you flex your chest or raise your arms?

[hellooo123]

That's great, man. Like I said a lot of people get optical illusions with irregular swelling and bruising patterns and looks like you will look great at rest for sure, have you been able to see how it looks when you flex your chest or raise your arms?

Thanks!!! I'm so excited right now. I haven't looked yet. From what I remember when I flexed I could notice my right side flex more but not sure if that's just my muscle or the swelling on the other side but I can imagine how much better it looks now. I can physically feel that it's way less sunken in when I lift my arm up, I haven't looked yet either I want to wait longer but my brother says there is as much improvement when my arms are raised as when they are at rest 😁 My friends say the same. I didn't believe anyone because I had no idea at all I had improved so much. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever expect to look this good now. I have my next lymphatic drainage massage tomorrow and I'm so excited. It's honestly the best thing I have ever done for myself! I will probably wait until I have two or three more lymphatic drainage massages before I look when flexed and when my arms are raised. I think I won't be disappointed though 😊😊 I will definitely post pictures of that when I get to it. So excited!!! If anyone is in the Bay Area and is thinking of getting this surgery or did get this surgery and interested in where I get lymphatic drainage massage please pm me, it does WONDERS! That's two weeks of improvement. It's crazy. Love it!

[flatness13]

Yeah man, it just didn't seem to make sense because you went to such a reputable surgeon. Now we are beginning to see the true result thankfully.
I think others should take note of your story too. You can be put through so much stress while it's nobody's fault. It's so unpredictable.

[hellooo123]

Hey guys, just a quick update. Still getting lymphatic drainage massage, I've had one more since I posted the photos and have another one coming up at the end of this week. My brother says I continue to have improvements which I still have not seen myself as I haven't looked at my chest other than in the pictures I posted. My massage therapist says the same too so I'm hoping I continue to see improvements. I am going to try to post a picture at least every month and when I fee comfortable I will post pictures of my chest at various angles and maybe with my arms lifted up. My brother says it looks more filled in so we will see. I just have to remember to be patient. I am 2 months post op now by the way.

[hellooo123]

I have to correct myself. I'm 7 weeks post op not 8. I feel pretty horribly right now. My chest feels gross again. My right side, anyway. My left side is whatever, my right side is so disgusting. My nipple sticks out A LOT, as in, you can clearly see it through thick sweaters and jackets. It looks horrible. Surgery has made me 1000 times more insecure and I'm terrified even more of my clothes than before. I don't feel attractive, I don't feel confident, I don't feel sexy. I felt all of those things before surgery. I stand by my original post, I regret surgery. If I could go back and take this back, I would in a heart beat. I would have traveled with the money I spent on this. I would have done everything and anything before surgery. I saw a picture of what I look like today and it's no where near as nice as the picture I posted earlier. That picture was just good lighting and some swelling filling it in. This surgery has ruined my life. All I do and have done for the last alms or two months is stay inside my house wondering if I'll ever feel normal again. Each day that goes by makes me more and more sure that I never will again.

[mattyy]

Not to be disrespectful, but you need to stop being so dramatic. You're 7 weeks post-surgery. The minimum recommended healing time is 6 months or 26 weeks. You're less than 30% through the minimum stated healing time.
This surgery has ruined your life? Come on, man. Your chest looks amazing. 99% of the guys here would kill for that chest. I've just had surgery and my chest looks 100 times worse than yours. But I don't care because I know I still have a long way to go in my healing. And not only that, I knew I was never going to have the perfect chest. All this stressing and dramatising is only creating a complex. Relax and wait the full healing time.

[hellooo123]

Not to be disrespectful, but you need to stop being so dramatic. You're 7 weeks post-surgery. The minimum recommended healing time is 6 months or 26 weeks. You're less than 30% through the minimum stated healing time.
This surgery has ruined your life? Come on, man. Your chest looks amazing. 99% of the guys here would kill for that chest. I've just had surgery and my chest looks 100 times worse than yours. But I don't care because I know I still have a long way to go in my healing. And not only that, I knew I was never going to have the perfect chest. All this stressing and dramatising is only creating a complex. Relax and wait the full healing time.

Thank you for your response! I hope that your recovery goes a lot smoother and happier than mine and that you get the results you were aiming for.

I don't think I'm being dramatic, your experience might be different than mine, hopefully a lot better than mine, but this is truly the most horrifying experience of my life. I had this surgery to make my chest look great and to feel more confident and enjoy a better quality of life and it has done the complete opposite.

I realize I am still relatively early in the healing process and yes overall I have improved, but my nipples have not at all. They've only gotten puffier and stick out more and I don't see how they would spontaneously start flattening at least to the point that they are even with eachother and at least where they don't stick out like giant ice cream cones through my shirts. That 100% defeats the purpose of getting this surgery because I still won't be able to wear any shirt I want and look good in it. I still feel like I have to wear spanx and if thats the case after I'm done healing then this definitely was a complete waste.

If after 6 months to a year somehow my nipples flatten out nicely and evenly then I myself will say yes absolutely I was being dramatic, but that is unrealistic to expect and it doesn't seem to be looking like that will happen for me so I am not hopeful.

I truly hope you have a speedy and healthy recovery free of complications and that you have amazing results that you enjoy looking at and touching and that it improves your quality of life. I feel thats what everyone who gets this surgery deserves and I really hope it happens for you

[hellooo123]

Another update, I looked at my chest in person as in not in pictures for the first time in 6 weeks yesterday during my lymph drainage massage session and I was really really impressed with what I saw, I felt like it looks really good at rest, I didn't lift my arms up or make any movements but now that I am starting scar treatments on my nipples I have to look so I couldn't help try raising my arm and it still sinks in, just as bad, just as deep, just as noticeable, just as extreme. It happens when I made the slightest movement especially with my right arm. I will admit with how much better it looks at rest and with what everyone told me it improved when I moved or lifted my arms, I really wasn't expecting it anymore but everyone was lying to me. It hasn't changed at all unfortunately. So again, guys, if you're on the fence about this surgery, be aware that it is extremely possible that you will only look decent with your arms at rest and look incredible deformed with any movement. I wish my posts weren't so pessimistic but I think it's important to share my experience if it stops someone else from ending up in this same place that I am in. Everyone I think maybe I'm out of the woods now and I'll start to be happy, I'm not. At this point I know I never will. It's horrible. I can promise you 10000% I was happier and more confident with boobs. This wasn't worth it for me.

[flatness13]

Once again we're in the same boat. Even though we were botched, it's better to look normal at rest and still have nipples albeit puffy, it could be much worse and I have seen cases like that with dented in nipples and visible deformities even at rest.
So unfortunately we'll have to go on the revision road. It sucks but there is light at the end of the tunnel because we still have something that a great surgeon can work with. If it means that much, you may have to travel for a true expert on fat flaps/grafting and who has done many successful revisions.

[gyno1990]

Another update, I looked at my chest in person as in not in pictures for the first time in 6 weeks yesterday during my lymph drainage massage session and I was really really impressed with what I saw, I felt like it looks really good at rest, I didn't lift my arms up or make any movements but now that I am starting scar treatments on my nipples I have to look so I couldn't help try raising my arm and it still sinks in, just as bad, just as deep, just as noticeable, just as extreme. It happens when I made the slightest movement especially with my right arm. I will admit with how much better it looks at rest and with what everyone told me it improved when I moved or lifted my arms, I really wasn't expecting it anymore but everyone was lying to me. It hasn't changed at all unfortunately. So again, guys, if you're on the fence about this surgery, be aware that it is extremely possible that you will only look decent with your arms at rest and look incredible deformed with any movement. I wish my posts weren't so pessimistic but I think it's important to share my experience if it stops someone else from ending up in this same place that I am in. Everyone I think maybe I'm out of the woods now and I'll start to be happy, I'm not. At this point I know I never will. It's horrible. I can promise you 10000% I was happier and more confident with boobs. This wasn't worth it for me.

Can you post updated pics? You still have time to heal, and I've heard of deformities being corrected as late as 6 months down the road. 

Revision down the road is always possible as well. 

[hellooo123]

Thanks for the replies everyone. I was actually going to take pictures today and post them since it's a month after the last pictures but I'm not feeling up for it right now. Besides everything I've talked about, I hadn't even touched my chest much these last couple of weeks and I realized today my chest feels almost as full as it did before surgery. I'm not sure if it's swelling as I've started to workout again or if it's other stress in my life. I will talk to my lymphatic massage therapist on Tuesday and go from there. As for revision surgery, I don't think I'd ever put myself through this again. I think it's easier to ignore my chest for the rest of my life as I've been trying to do lately than to get my hopes up again and go through this grueling recovery a second time with no guarantee that I'll look any better.

Also, I decided to go back to wearing spanx again. It at least helps hide it from myself a little bit more.

[hellooo123]

Small update, I am pretty much at the 3 month post-op mark. As I said on my previous post I am still not looking at my chest, I'm wearing spanx, still wearing silicone sheets daily (my brother applies them for me). I mean I don't know what I look like but my lymphatic drainage massage therapist and my brother both say it's still looking better every time they see. I'm not holding my breath though, I resigned the idea of looking good or having a flat chest. I mentioned in my previous post that my chest is fuller almost like it was pre-op. But my point in this update is to say that I'm in a much better space emotionally because I am not in denial about having had surgery anymore. It happened, it is what it is, I just don't fixate on my chest anymore. I focus on the rest of my body and I have been working out a lot and the rest of me is getting in great shape so it helps. I guess I'm just trying to say to other guys who have been botched or haven't had the results they wanted is that emotionally you can and will get better with time and you'll find ways to cope and move on. This is just a different way to live and a different perspective on my body but it helps. I hope everyone is having a wonderful day