Anyone ever back out of surgery? I'm scheduled for Feb. 13th

[KuscoBusco]

What's up everybody -

As the title states, I have a bilateral gland excision scheduled with Dr. Lo in Philly on the 13th of February. I will be going under general anesthesia and will have drains for a day and a half post-op.

Some of you might've seen my other thread, but I was originally scheduled with Lo, then scheduled with Lebowitz in NY, and am now back to Lo. It's been quite a ride and a mental headache dealing with this decision to actually pull the trigger and lay down on that operating table...

I was feeling my chest tonight and I definitely have more gyno in my left side. When I put my arms over my head and pinch both sides, the right kind of feels like there's an ever so little amount of gland, but the left I can feel a noticeable amount. Dr. Lo basically said I have a mild case but felt my chest and agreed that gyno was apparent.

I am still battling with myself over this decision. It's been about 6 months now. I honestly think I'm just being a p***y and need to realize that I am doing my best to eliminate the possibility of a bad surgical outcome - that is what I'm most afraid of. I'm scared to death of getting an "uneven chest", having one side look bigger/smaller than the other, or having my scars heal terribly.  

That said, I am someone who gets extremely anal with things as important as post-op care. If Dr. Lo tells me to wear the vest for six weeks, I'm wearing it for six weeks. If he tells me to sleep at a 45 degree angle the first couple of nights, I'm laying at a 45 degree angle. You get the picture. I feel very comfortable with Dr. Lo and his abilities, but he is only human just like the rest of us and there's no real telling how my body will heal.

I have 100% pubertal gyno. My father has it pretty bad - he has borderline moobs. My brother doesn't have it at all. I think mine got worse - at least in the left side - after I went on a heavy lifting cycle and put on some serious mass. I didn't take any enhancers or steroids - never have never will.

Can someone shed some light on how they overcame the fear of a bad outcome? And how likely am I to look in the mirror after surgery and go, "Wtf did I just do to myself" given my current state of gyno and critical attention to pre and post-op care?

Thanks in advance.
- KB

[Cristalis]

I am still battling with myself over this decision. It's been about 6 months now. I honestly think I'm just being a p***y and need to realize that I am doing my best to eliminate the possibility of a bad surgical outcome - that is what I'm most afraid of. I'm scared to death of getting an "uneven chest", having one side look bigger/smaller than the other, or having my scars heal terribly.  

Hey, you are like me, im very very bothered by the gyno but very afraid of the outcome. Im contemplating this surgery in years but not just my thoughts stopped me of doing it till today. Finding a good surgeon is hard in my area, there is none that are doing just this on a very frequent basis. So for me is extra money and hassle to travel in other countries.

My case is a little bit worse than yours but if my areolas would always stay erected and small, like when im out of a cold shower or when i pinch and stimulate them i would probably never do the surgery. 

But man, im so self conscious when my areolas enlarge in warm environments, they look so bad and feminine, i feel awful on the beach or sunbathing, i always stay in cold water or need to pinch my niples, im so not relaxed. 

I have them like you, from puberty years and im now 40 years old. I feel now that my good years have passed beside me and not even enjoying what they could offer. 
I often feel that i will cut my self and take that tissue out, i feel that hard tissue so alien, im so nuts by all this and sad that my life turned out like this.I developed some kind of thing, a nervous tic that im always put my hand on the areolas and pres on the glands, move them, touch them.

I can see the tissue even when i flex hard my pecs, the area around my niples/areolas is round. Glandular tissue dosent compress like fat and thats why when you flex it more obvious.

Some docs say that when you get lean and more muscular they condition its worse but not for me. The worst is when i have some extra kilograms. When i build my upper pecs too, when i get leaner and burn some fat from my chest area my chest looks way way more better.

I need now to get my mind sorted out, to get lean, and do this surgery. Yeah, im very obsessed in my mind that i will exchange something i hate for something i will hate(bad outcome) for the costs of my entire life of savings. 
Im undergoing a plastic surgery so i expect to look better but no one gives you guarantees.
I have seen bad outcomes that i wont like, i seen them a lot. Unevenness, crater deformities when flexing chest, to flat non natural looking chests and not blending with the rest of the body if you know what i mean.
Best outcome i seen were on very lean people who needed just gland extraction.

Oh man, i wish you good luck, keep us posted, In my opinion you look good. I can see your muscle chest lines, even lower lines and side lines. Mine even if im leaner the chest dosent get that defined because of the surounding tissue. Can i say f..k this debilitating conditions and poor us who tormented by them, and man, the prices for medical intervention are so high for some of us. In my country 70% of people earn no more than 350 USD a month.

[KuscoBusco]

Hey man, thanks for the reply. I hope you one day find the peace within yourself that you seek - whether that be with or without surgery.

I also wanted to include that I practice my faith. I am a big believer in God and have given my life to Him - I am 23. I've been praying about this and it has helped. I guess I'm asking for prayers as well. I just don't want to mess myself up. I also know that this is something that is curable, but I'm not sure if I have it bad enough to get the surgery and then look back and go "yeah THIS chest is MUCH better than the one I had before" -

It's tough man. It's really tough. I can feel the gyne. But like this morning for example... I'm about a half an inch taller in the morning and this morning I looked in the mirror and I was happy with the person I saw. My torso looked really good - slightly elongated because I'm taller in the a.m. - but my chest also looked good - my nips were hard but still, it's like do I really want/need someone cutting me open to get a "better" look? What is better to me? Is better being able to take my shirt off and not feel insecure? I mean I do it now with girls... I don't feel "that" insecure and when I'm 50, am I going to look back at this and go man, that was such a small deal I don't know why I ever got the surgery... and be left with scars... Idk, my heads in a knot.

If I cancel the surgery with Lo for the 13th this will be probably the 6th or 7th time I've cancelled in the past 3 or 4 months. I'll really piss off the office staff - I know they'd never show it but it has to be annoying to deal with a patient like myself.

[KuscoBusco]

Update:
Starting to get very anxious over the fact that Dr. Lo is doing my surgery. I have to admit, I know he is a featured doctor and what not but from what I'm seeing on the web there are not many reviews of his work - or pictures. 
I will only need glands removed, to which he's basically told me "I just cut them out" so it makes me a little uncomfortable. I also am dreading general anesthesia and do not want 6 potentially hot young nurses in the room like someone mentioned about Lo's procedure in another thread here... Not that they were hot, but there's a lot of people in the room.

[Dr. Elliot Jacobs]

I totally understand your fears.  However, you have to have confidence in yourself as well.  If you did your due diligence in choosing a reputable surgeon, then all should go well.  True, doctors are human, but choosing a surgeon who has significant experience in this procedure will go a long way to alleviate your anxiety.

Some anxiety is quite normal -- but do not allow it to overwhelm yourself.  I have found that patients who go into surgery with a very positive attitude will uniformly have an excellent result.

Dr Jacobs

[KuscoBusco]

I totally understand your fears.  However, you have to have confidence in yourself as well.  If you did your due diligence in choosing a reputable surgeon, then all should go well.  True, doctors are human, but choosing a surgeon who has significant experience in this procedure will go a long way to alleviate your anxiety.

Some anxiety is quite normal -- but do not allow it to overwhelm yourself.  I have found that patients who go into surgery with a very positive attitude will uniformly have an excellent result.

Dr Jacobs

Thank you for your reply Dr. Jacobs. 

I've been looking at a lot of before & after photos on Lo's website and the harder I look, the less confident I am in getting this surgery. Scars are something I'm deathly afraid of having (God forbid I have a hypertrophic scar). I now realize that they are a very real aspect of this surgery, and I might've been too convinced of the "they're not really noticeable" claims made around the web. I am not only worried about external scarring, but internal as well. The people who get scar tissue buildup (almost everyone it seems) seem to describe it as being very hard. I would hate having that internal buildup just as much as having the actual glandular tissue. 

Also, based on my pictures I've gotten a lot of feedback on my gyno and a lot of people have said they do not see much. I'm starting to believe them and am leaning closer and closer to not getting surgery. That said, I am still making up my mind. I've taken a bunch of pictures of myself and tried to visualize myself with the surgery complete and I just can't. I've also been looking at the way my nipple rests and I do not think my scars would be bad.

Final note as well -

I've begun to really look at surgery from the lens of "I just want the glands out". The more and more I look at my pointy nips when I sit down or whatever they just stick out like points. It pisses me off and shifts my mind to a "I need surgery" state. But then when they're hard or when I'm standing up I feel 50/50 about it. 

Any advice/thoughts are appreciated - especially from you, Dr. Jacobs -

KB

[HairyKnockers]

You have been bouncing back and forth for months, changed doctors and now are asking if you should go through with the surgery, once again.  First you are “awfulizing”, a psychological term meaning you are looking at something and seeing only the worst outcome.  A patient going into surgery should be concerned about the outcome but not in a panic.  Concern is an appropriate emotion for the situation, panic is not.

I cannot really do therapy on you over a blog; however if you feel panic and not just appropriate concern you should definitely cancel or at least postpone the surgery.  Patients who have a high level of good expectation always have a better result from surgery.  This holds true even if it is simply they are less critical of the results.  Before you have the surgery, you really need to speak with a therapist regarding your fears.  It should only take a few sessions at most; you don’t need to study how you were potty trained to solve this problem.  You said you are very “anal” about these things.  Let me assure you that you are well past an anal retentive problem.  Rational Therapy or anything similar would be fine for you.  A therapist who is experienced in hypnosis would be a plus; they could really help you with relaxation for the surgery.

Good luck and talk to someone before you go under the knife.

[KuscoBusco]

You have been bouncing back and forth for months, changed doctors and now are asking if you should go through with the surgery, once again.  First you are “awfulizing”, a psychological term meaning you are looking at something and seeing only the worst outcome.  A patient going into surgery should be concerned about the outcome but not in a panic.  Concern is an appropriate emotion for the situation, panic is not.

I cannot really do therapy on you over a blog; however if you feel panic and not just appropriate concern you should definitely cancel or at least postpone the surgery.  Patients who have a high level of good expectation always have a better result from surgery.  This holds true even if it is simply they are less critical of the results.  Before you have the surgery, you really need to speak with a therapist regarding your fears.  It should only take a few sessions at most; you don’t need to study how you were potty trained to solve this problem.  You said you are very “anal” about these things.  Let me assure you that you are well past an anal retentive problem.  Rational Therapy or anything similar would be fine for you.  A therapist who is experienced in hypnosis would be a plus; they could really help you with relaxation for the surgery.

Good luck and talk to someone before you go under the knife.

Edit: What do you mean by I'm well past an anal retentive problem?

Thanks for the reply. I've actually already taken that step - seeing someone tomorrow. That said, I honestly think I have genuine concern - not panic. I think this day in age, with the vast amounts of information on display and at the touch of a button, people tend to get caught up in every possible type of situation. For instance, I read one thread about a guy who gets scar tissue buildup 10 weeks post-op and go, "D*mn, I wonder if that'd happen to me" and then I justify that fear by saying to myself, "I have a minor case and my surgeon has lots of experience" - which is what I've read is really all you can do (aside form proper pre and post operation care (which yes, I am anal about - everyone should be)). Or, you read another thread about a case that may be similar to yours and hear their frightening story - but again, it's theirs - not mine.

After a while you read so much of this stuff that you learn more than you probably needed to. But, honestly man, this is a huge decision. I envy the guys who kind of wing it and get bad results, etc. and respond like, "whatever, doc said it'll heal eventually" - that is definitely not the type of person I am. This whole process has been a huge learning experience and I am realizing that I might want it to end up with getting the surgery. I've fluctuated physiques countless times and I'm tired of putting myself through the stress that comes with that. I know I can maintain a healthy lifestyle - one that doesn't require different amounts of dieting and exercising to achieve a desired look (which will never actually come because of the gyno). I love working out - still do - but this gyne might have to go once and for all.

I'm confident I have a healthy mindset behind making this decision. This forum is a place for me to sort of vent on the thought process, but to also get feedback and advice. In my opinion, documenting a thought process behind a decision like this could potentially help somebody who's on the fence.

Again, I appreciate the reply.

[HairyKnockers]

Sorry if the anal retentive line was a little obscure, it was therapist humor.  To explain what I was pointing out with the line; Freud believed that people had five stages of development.  They are called Freud's Stages of Psychosexual Development, which in order are; oral, anal, phallic, latency, and genital.  I think you can see why it is “psychosexual” from his naming of the stages of development.  Freud’s theory was predicated on in depth study of one’s life starting at birth.  As an example he believed how you were potty trained was the original cause of your inability to make a decision; or if your mother did the potty training it was the reason you liked being diapered by your sexual partners.  Freud had a great fondness for Greek Tragedies, especially Oedipus Rex.  Hence the Oedipal Complex, lusting after your mother and wanting to kill your father so you can have carnal knowledge of your mother.

For full disclosure I will admit I am not a Freudian by any means.  Some of it I believe borders on the silly.  I am way too impatient to listen to how someone was spanked for pooping their pants.  Most modern therapists have discounted much of Freud’s theories, but some still cling strongly to them.  In my book, no one has time for 20 years of therapy blaming your parents for why you still live in their basement.  Okay, maybe in that case they should be blamed; they should have sold the house, moved and not given you their new address.

You said you were very “anal” about checking out the surgery.  You used the term in what I would call layman’s vernacular of the Freudian term, which is perfectly fine.  Hence I said you didn’t need to find out how you were potty trained.  I think sometimes people sell themselves short saying they are “anal”.  I like to tell people who self define as anal that they are instead “diligent”.  Diligence in proper proportions is extremely appropriate.  If you couldn’t make a decision about purchasing a 50 cent candy bar, then you have an issue.  But investigating several different doctors that are proposing to cut you open and take parts out of you and make you look better, you would be extremely reckless if you were not diligent.  So don’t beat yourself up for being totally appropriate with your concerns.

As to your speaking with a therapist, I will tell you to give some guidance to your therapist; don’t worry everyone does this to their therapist and it drives us nuts but that goes with the territory.  Your therapist should be able to explain to you in greater depth than I could here that your concerns are normal and healthy responses to considering surgery.  That your diligence, assuming you can eventually make a decision, is totally appropriate.  Controlled breathing therapy is a skill for them to introduce to you.  I think it is great; I used it to relax before hernia surgery.  Also, if your therapist is skilled in hypnosis that would be good too.  Controlled breathing is really a subset of hypnosis.  Good luck with the surgery, if you are satisfied with a doctor and decide to have it.

[joe7]

I've read through your posts and can relate to a lot of what you write. If I was in your situation, I would cancel, or at the very least postpone the surgery. I can tell you from experience that having even a slight deformity is much worse than minor gyno. The mental burden is devastating. I'll write a longer reply and explain in further detail if you like.

[KuscoBusco]

I've read through your posts and can relate to a lot of what you write. If I was in your situation, I would cancel, or at the very least postpone the surgery. I can tell you from experience that having even a slight deformity is much worse than minor gyno. The mental burden is devastating. I'll write a longer reply and explain in further detail if you like.

Hey Joe, yes, I would love to hear your reply. This is the biggest decision I've made in a while. I'm very fearful of things turning out poorly, despite Dr. Lo assuring I'd be fine. I'm a healthy guy, I don't foresee any serious problems coming my way but again, everyone is different. 

My "consent and pay" visit is tomorrow - the 6th - and I am nervous. I still am not entirely certain about whether or not I'm going to go. I was feeling pretty good about it today but then I read your post today and am having second thoughts. Don't take offense to that at all by the way - it just reminds me of the "other option" - to not get the surgery. I would sincerely appreciate it if you could share your experience with me - PM me if you prefer. 

The main thing I've realized is that my "life after gyno" is something I've been analyzing. I have all these things in my life I want to do, but I feel like my gyno is preventing me from doing them. I have all these great things I could dive into, but for some reason the gyno is something I've been thinking about as a problem and is holding me back. I have realized that my reasoning is mostly in my own head and that I "could" do anything I wanted regardless of getting the surgery or not. The issue is however, that I don't necessarily feel like I'll be as happy as a person doing these things. I want to feel good about myself first. It's not that I don't feel good about myself, it's more the fact that I feel like I could be better. This surgery is a way for me to feel better and sort of "cross-off" those problem areas in my life that come from the self-consciousness and semi-low self esteem gyno brings. I also love working out and haven't been to the gym in a while because this gyno thing has been debilitating for me. 

The other thing I've realized is; I have gyno. Even though it is minor, I have it - and it's pubertal. I had lumps when I was 13/14 and remember it vividly. I didn't know what it was then, but looking back it was 100% gyno. I've had two doctors confirm that yes, I do have a very minor case. I guess the question I now face is; do I dish out the $6k to get my chest looking more manly and RISK the possible side effects of having a deformed chest or scarring? Do I also risk the fact that my scars might be noticeable to others?

Or, do I dish out the money and get a great looking chest and one I'm happy with... thinking about that gets me going and gets me excited. But, it's like I can't harness that energy now without the surgery and I'm also thinking about that too and if there's a problem there. I don't think there is though, and I really am confident that I have my head on straight with this - just looking at it from all angles. 

Any input is appreciated! Would also love to hear some feedback on guys who have had successful surgeries and might've felt like this prior to surgery. 

[KuscoBusco]

Update: Night of my consent/pay appt.
Update x2: https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=160720471 
^^ Threads like that make me want to get it. Seems like most people have had successful outcomes with this.

Basically I could push it back to Thursday but I'm really trying to make the decision by tomorrow morning after I sleep on it. I talked to my mom tonight and it's kind of just going in circles. I think the same thing every time. It's really been a focal point for me and I think I need to either take action or put it behind me for good and accept who I am the way I am...

What I've realized tonight is that I haven't given my best shot at making the best of my chest without surgery. I haven't tried anything else. I haven't gone to the gym for a while and built up different areas of my chest. Also, I haven't cut down to bf % that I really want to be at (needless to say, most people have told me I look fine).

What it comes down to is, I've now had several people online tell me my chest looks fine the way it is (and the funny part is, it could be better - I've seen it better). I've also had people tell me (from 4 different sources - two of them being doctors) that if they were me, they'd cancel or postpone the surgery. I value all of these opinions and is the greatest of all because it's an outside perspective looking in (and makes me think it's really not as big of a deal as I personally think it is).

Now the biggest part I have to figure out is how to live my life the way I would've if I had the surgery... And this includes the way I workout and eat. That is really the endpoint to all of this. I'm asking myself questions like: "If I were to get the surgery, what would my life look like and what would I do with my days (if I were completely healed, etc. obviously)?" and, "What's holding me back from doing those things now?" - questions like that. It's really giving me some good insight into my personal life and what direction I'd like to see myself going in.

The fact of the matter is, my chest could be better. But, is it going to be better because I got surgery for minor gyno, or is it because I put the time and effort into my workout/diet to build a chest I am proud of? That said, am I going to kick myself down the road after I've done all the work and am still not happy? Am I going to hate the fact that - let's say I do get the surgery done in the future - I didn't get it done sooner? I do not want to get it done in the future and constantly think of the "what if I had it done this whole time" ...

Whatever, driving myself nuts at this point. I wish I didn't have such an ability to see literally every angle when making this decision... It's just the way it is I guess. Oh well, thoughts/advice are greatly appreciated!

[joe7]

I'll leave a more detailed reply later today. but for now let me say this: If you've had four different sources (two of them doctors) advise you not to get the surgery, then you should seriously consider cancelling.

I've seen that bodybuilding forum thread before, in fact it was one of the things that made me want to get the surgery. What you might not realize is that your gyno is nowhere near as obvious as that guys. I'm not just saying this to make you feel better, I mean it sincerely and objectively. I have his pics and your pics open on screen now, and your case looks much better than his.

You already have a solid build with a great pec shape. Unlike many cases I've seen, your gyno does not ruin your chest at all. I'd bet with a little more fatloss and muscle gain, you'd be happy with your chest. I almost cancelled my surgery after getting fairly lean, as my gyno become less apparent.

Surgery is a one way ticket. There is no going back. If you cancel, you have the rest of your life to make the decision.

[KuscoBusco]

Hey guys, just wanted to give everyone an update on this.

Well, last night I basically stayed up until 5am. Did a lot of praying, did a lot of reading, did a lot of sitting and staring at nothing trying to make this decision. I did not go to my appt this morning and cancelled.

Last night I stumbled across this thread of another member on here whose name I will not mention. But, his story his worth mentioning.

Also, Joe, you were a huge influence on helping me make this decision so I sincerely thank you for all of your input.

I read 80 something posts from this one user last night. He basically had pseudo gyno and only needed lipo. He was going through the same thought process as me, and even had people tell him he was fine before surgery. But, in the end, he decided to go through with the lipo surgery and turned out to be only fairly happy with the results. That was in '06.
Fast forward a bit. This guy leaves a bunch of comments from '06-'08 basically just helping others and giving input - but that he was fairly happy with his results and it was just like "eh, whatever - at least it's done so now I HAVE to live with the results" - that was his rationale.

Fast forward a bit more to '12. This guy goes back for a glandular excision - his second operation... This resonated home with me because the one doctor told me that after one surgery, I may just find something else wrong with me and go get another surgery, and another, and another... etc.

This poor guy basically goes and gets an excision (and from a VERY well known Dr. on these boards) and is left with an indented chest. This guy starts making threads about his severe depression and how his life has basically spiraled out of control over something people told him was not even a problem to begin with - was just in his own head.
I seriously feel sorry for the guy - I really do. But, I'm using his experience and life journey as motivation for me to live the life I want aside from surgery.

And, to Joe's post above - you're right - I could lose a bit of weight and really try to develop some different areas in my chest. That's actually something that gets me excited - something I thought only the surgery would do for me.

Basically, and you have my word guys - I'm going to post back here around the time of my college graduation and tell you all my story (where my life went in the next 4 months). I hope this thread was helpful for people who are on the fence with a gyno problem that may be in their own head and not an actual issue needing surgery.

Peace, all -
KB