You mentioned tops and bra matching and how you want to draw attention away from your breasts. I understand that you wear female tops at home, but do you wear female tops when you are out in public? If so, what kind?
Halter tops, female tank tops? Camis?
I on the other hand have small 30B breasts so I wear push-up bras and plunging neck lines so as to make my breasts look bigger and hopefully show some cleavage so I’ll be noticed.
As to my up coming airline trip, I’ll stick with wearing my favorite crop top cami. All my friends tell me how much I look like my wife with my feminine upper body so I suspect the TSA people will let me pass through.
In public, I usually don't wear male or female tops that actuate the breasts but will give a little room in the bust. Since I present male, I can never completely hide my bust because of my size, but I can/do wear male looking women's tops or unisex tops along with certain male tops. A trick a female friend told me about is you have to have the correct "foundation pieces" under the top to soften the curves for an undefined bust. There is still a bust, but it is harder to detect. To help smooth out the lumps and bumps of the bra, use women's layering pieces to hide the outline of the bra since those are designed to smooth and hide the lines of the bra without being seen themselves. I prefer a very snug bra band (tight) since it supports my DD's for better comfort. But since I have some flab around my ribs, which makes for great padding for comfort with the band, but causes an indention with the wires and band around my body that can be seen through single layer form fitting tops, larger women have this same issue, to keep the bulk down and for cooler temps, particularly in the summer, I will wear either a form fitting (I have found out that 95% of women prefer TIGHT under layers) cami, or even a half slip and in the winter for warmth, I will wear a more covering cami or layering tank to smooth things out under whatever top I wear. I will wear button downs, male inspired female or male, that don't have darts in the bust. I even will wear a male inspired female polo that gives a little in the bust but doesn't have extra material in the waist. I have found a sloppy look will pull attention quicker than defined breasts. Tee shirts are also not out of the question in the summer, but to wear those, I don't wear it tight but let it flow over my body and not be form fitting, you see this look with many plus size women, with a minimizer tee shirt bra and a spaghetti strap cami which works pretty well for me. I don't wear deep V or deep princess neck or boat neck tops that are made to draw attention to the breasts but round neck tops or male looking neck lines. I try and keep the form fitting uniboob look to a minimum and if I show, show two distinct mounds that can be passed off as developed pecs in a glance, the lift and separate of underwires are perfect for that with a non clingy, non form fitting loose top, male or female. Women use this same trick to draw attention away from their chest. I have observed how women wear their tops and have gotten a lot of good tips and pointers.