Author Topic: New Here  (Read 3092 times)

Offline Busty

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I think many of us can relate. You fit in well here. Thanks for answering so many of my questions. I look forward to the rest of your answers. 

 Sorry about that last year of your marriage. That must’ve been hard. I hope you have good support now.  

Offline SideSet

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You keep getting me wondering what happened next. 

You know, she was not very nice to you. 

Offline Busty

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Was that enough for her?  Did she stay distant?  Did she find out and what did she say and do about you were in her things?

Offline Beeches

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I can understand how that would be. I am very lucky indeed to have a supportive partner who has always been there for me while I have been trying to come to terms with my developing breasts. She is considerate and sympathetic, and has spent hours listening to me as I talked through what was happening and how I felt about it. She understands that I need emotional support just as much as I need support for my breasts and she accepts that I regularly wear a bra to support them.

On another level, however, she finds it really hard to reconcile the notion that her male partner is now wearing women's underwear. She sees me as masculine, and struggles with the conflicting image that I present when I'm wearing a bra. Like Dale, I have a partner that is strongly attracted to masculinity and who likes manly men, so the appearance of my boobs is bound to have been difficult for her to come to terms with.

I do have some insecurities about this, and worry that she may come to find me unattractive because of my breasts. So far, she seems OK about it. I know that she would much prefer it if I had never developed breasts, but it is clear that in a relationship, acceptance of gynecomastia requires both partners to commit. In deference to her feelings, I try to avoid her seeing me in a bra, and that seems to work pretty well. In other words, she's fine about me wearing bras but prefers not to have to see me in one. She knows I wear them and I try to keep my bra wearing as low-profile as I can.

Strangely enough, she doesn't seem to object to my breasts and will sometimes play with them and my much enlarged and very sensitive nipples in bed. I'm not complaining at all - I enjoy this attention very much, but outside of the bedroom she would clearly prefer that she doesn't have to think about them - or my bras. It sometimes seems odd to me that me having female breasts and nipples is fine until I cover them up with a bra!

Unlike quite a few here, I have not so far been attracted to wearing other items of female clothing. I can certainly understand that those who developed breasts at puberty are likely to have generally much more feminine bodies and it makes much more sense to wear clothing that fits your body. I absolutely support the notion of wearing what works for you and not what we think society expects us to be wearing based on assigned gender.

I also believe that our hormones exert a far more profound level of influence on us that just determining whether or not we grow beards or breasts. My partner has pointed out traits in my own behaviour and attitudes which have changed significantly over a few years. What concerns me is that I have been largely unaware of them until they were commented on, which leads me to suspect that this is probably the underlying reason for the 'pink mist' phenomenon that has been remarked on a number of times in these discussions. Maybe there is an underlying hormonal imperative that predisposes some of us to cross-dressing just as it can exert a physical effect on our chests?

So far, I have not felt inclined to explore the wider world of lingerie (and I'm sure my partner would probably be aghast if I suddenly started wearing a basque or some of the more adventurous and exotic bra styles) That said, I definitely know what I like when looking for bras, and get quite upset when something I really like the look of is not available in my size. I also very much care about how I appear when wearing one - support and comfort are paramount, but like others here I also want my breasts to look their best.

Offline Beeches

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Ever since my breast growth became a thing I could no longer ignore or pretend wasn’t happening, I have tried to be as open and honest as I can with my partner because I just felt that keeping it to myself would end up alienating us.

To a large extent this seems to have worked for me, but I won’t say that it hasn’t been divisive at times. It does seem to put our relationship under a certain amount of pressure. I do think it would be a whole lot worse if I had not tried to keep communicating, though. Whilst wonderfully supportive when it counts, my partner does not ask about my feelings that much. I have tried to express them to her anyway, and this means that we do at least talk about it sometimes.

I think that if I had tried to keep it all to myself it might have resulted in things taking a darker turn and we would have drifted further and further apart. It always seems that being covert about anything in a relationship inevitably results in tensions and difficulties in the end. Very sadly, your experiences would seem to bear that out. It is not easy sometimes to keep a conversation going when one party is reluctant to participate.

Offline SideSet

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Were you at all suspicious? Change in her attitude. Sudden interest in sexy lingerie. And at least one piece of lingerie looked like it got some heavy use. 

Offline blad

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Yes, I had expected teasing and harassment.  Starting in middle school, my nickname was Booby.

 I had the usual comment about needing to wear a bra. A couple girls even offered to give me one of their old bras. I wasn’t sure if that was meant to be helpful.

Like most of you, I was always put on the skins team for PE, locker room was hell, and yes, I did get felt up and my nipples tweaked. 

 As I’m sure many of you can relate, after all the teasing about my breasts and suggestions that I wear a bra,  I spent a lot of time thinking about my breasts, which eventually led to thinking about trying on a bra.

 Finally, I tried on one of my mothers bras. That was a revelation. I didn’t quite fill her bra cups, but, they were far from empty.  I remember being transfixed, conflicted, both horrified, yet somehow proud,  I did belong in a bra just like everybody said. And the bra felt good there’s no more movement and  I even looked good in a bra.  But it scared me, also
These experiences closely mirror my own when I developed breasts at age 13 along with the girls in my class. 

Middle school in particular was very challenging every day. I was known as "breast Man". It was constantly suggested to me that I needed a bra, or questioned what my bra size was. I was consistently placed on the skins team in PE where I had to parade around the gym with my breasts fully visible and bouncing around for all to see. I felt the whole world was staring at my boobs with no escape. Girls would sometimes say I needed a bra more than they did, (some were right about that).

With all the continual comments, I began to wonder if I would in fact fit a bra and what it would feel like. At home one day I raided some of my older sister's cast off bras. It was an intense feeling trying them on for the first time. They seemed to fit very well and my breasts filled out those cups with cleavage. I instantly loved how it felt to be wearing a bra and began to discover the benefits of the support and containment the bra provided, something I really did not think about until I tried one. It just felt so right to have a bra on and seemed to give purpose to having breasts. I loved how I looked in a bra too.

This created a confusing dilemma. First, I had to acknowledge to myself that the kids in my class were right that I did need a bra, although obviously the comments were not made to be helpful. But second, I was conflicted that while I was embarrassed about having boobs in public, I began to enjoy and admire them while wearing a bra. I came to a state of mind that if it were socially normal, I would be quite happy to wear a bra all the time and have breasts. I wore my sister's bras as often as I could conceal that I had one on; the fear of being found out was not as strong as the desire to wear a bra. I eventually began to buy some of my own bras while still in school. I became well studied at examining the bra outlines of girls in my classes and became familiar with the different strap designs. I felt jealous that the girls could openly wear a bra while I had to do so in stealth.

The feeling of acceptance of my breasts and wearing a bra for them only increased over time. And it became clear that I was more comfortable with the support a bra gave and was increasingly bothered by the sensation when I had to be braless. Eventually I moved towards wearing a bra full time. A break through came when my great wife said that I needed a bra more than she did. 

Thus, from an early age I became fully accepting of wearing a bra for the rest of my life and living with my breasts, and only the social pressures of fitting in to the rigid mold of being male initially held me back. It was a hard journey on my own when still in my teen years, and I do wonder what it may have been like if my mother had discussed wearing a bra, as she was well aware of my breast development. I guess we both were too embarrassed to discuss the topic in the pre internet age. 
If the bra fits, wear it.

Offline Busty

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Dale, are you going to tell us what happened?  I am so curious 

Offline Beeches

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I agree with bustymale - we deserve to hear the rest of your story. We know that you and your wife became alienated, and that she is now your ex-wife. I sense that it got acrimonious, but if you don’t mind recounting it, we would love to hear!

Offline Johndoe1

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This is not a voyour list. It's not for our entertainment to demand  people describe painful events in their life. If all you are interested in is getting off on other peoples sexual or fetish ways, then please leave. That's NOT what the acceptance forum is for.

Any events in someone's life are totally voluntary and not at the request or behest of others. That's harassment and that's not what this forum will tolerate.
Womanhood is not defined by breasts, and breasts are not indicative of womanhood. - Melissa Fabello

Offline Traveler

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Any events in someone's life are totally voluntary and not at the request or behest of others. That's harassment and that's not what this forum will tolerate.
Thank you John, I have to admit the way this thread has been going was making me a little uncomfortable.

Offline Charlee

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Thank you Dale for finishing your story. I’m sorry to hear that you lost the person you thought to spend the rest of your life with.

Sincerely,
Charlee
Happy to be busted.

Offline SideSet

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Sounds like she knew you were cross dressing in her things. Sounds like it didn’t bother her that much. I guess because that is how she saw you already, was done with you.  Maybe  she even liked it because it helped her  to justify what she was doing, as it seems she was wearing her lingerie to please a man, not herself, as you thought. 

Offline Beeches

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Dale - A sad outcome to your marriage. Your ex-wife has obviously moved on with her life, and I hope you have been able to as well. You mentioned that you were getting support from a platonic female friend, so hopefully she will have been able help you get through the divorce.

Having been through a divorce myself many years ago, I know it can be tough, but I got though it and I’m lucky to have found a much happier life. I now have a great partner and two grown-up daughters. I hope you find yourself in a much happier place in the future.

Offline Dale Warnio

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I removed what I had shared.  I hope everyone is happy now.

The rest is history. 

I hope others can learn from my mistake.  Be open with your partner.  And be open with yourself.  Accept the parts of you that are changing and challenging.  Accept any help your partner offers.  And don’t be afraid to ask your partner for help or admit when you were weak or wrong.
« Last Edit: September 18, 2020, 09:39:56 PM by Dale Warnio »

 

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