Wearing a bra for now

[Conor W]

Hi . Been lurking on this forum. Did a lot of research reading the posts.  I’m 18 and hopefully off to university in September. I have been chesty since I was 13, saw a doctor last year who said it was gynecomastia which I sort of knew. She said there’s nothing they can do about it at the minute. I had a blood test. 

I tried to hide it but my mum said something about it when I was 16. I let her see in summer. She said they were feminine in appearance - which they are and they are big now. She ended up buying a couple of chest binders off the internet which sort of worked and flattened them down to wear going out and at college. They are hot and get sore. I didn’t wear them a lot last year on the days studying  at home due to Covid. 
At the start of the year , my mum suggested wearing bras. It’s like she had been trying to find a way and i was dreading it.  She said just around the house as it will be comfier and they will be supported. My Dad just seems to accept it and doesn’t get involved. My mum is quite a strong woman and he generally likes  a quiet life!   She said they are very feminine in shape and a bra would be better. My 16 year old sister has been commenting but in a jokey fashion saying I’m the same size as her or I was bouncing around all over the place - get a bra on.  I don’t know what my mum  has said but she obviously sees me round the house in a t shirt as does my dad. I can see them looking. 
She bought some bras. She knew my chest size and the difference from the doctors measurements. I said I’d think about it. The following morning she talked me into trying one. I looked in the mirror and looked stupid in boxer shorts and a white bra. But my boobs looked like I had cleavage and under a t shirt it was obvious I was wearing one. She said no one would say anything. My dad ignored it when he saw me. My sister smirked, cheered and then said at last, you got a bra.

She got me a few bras and has since got me a few more. I am the same as my younger sister cup wise - b- but I need a bigger chest 44. She got them off the internet as she said they are plus size. They are a bit lacey and some are under wired, some not. They do make me comfier and stop me bouncing. I have worn them out in winter under baggy clothes but not to college. 

So advice. How do I move forward ? I have never told my friends but I know a few female friends know I have breasts. They never said anything. My male friends - I don’t know. I know they look at my chest. 

Just not sure how I move forward.

[blad]

It would increase confidence to buy some shirts that minimize showing off any bra outline. I think almost any basic T shirt runs the risk of letting the imprint of bra strap to show through. I find confidence every day in a button down pattern shirt that is a relaxed fit. With a T shirt, at least try some with darker colors and patterns. 

By eliminating any concern of a bra outline showing through you can go off to collage in confidence and enjoy the comfort and containment of wearing a bra.

Many here have felt that a bra can reduce the visual impact of having a bust line by reducing attention getting bounce and improving the shaping of your chest. 

[Johndoe1]

It's no one's business that either you have breasts or you wear a bra for them. Don't wear shirts that are form fitting or tight. Also, don't wear baggy shirts if they are not supposed to be baggy. A denim jacket or other type causal jacket can help. From what you said, you can't hide them, so you need to do things to pull the eye away from your chest. Wearing clothes that are appropriate and fit, button downs with a little room in the chest and darker colors and bras that are NOT white. White shows through quicker than anything. Skin tones, also called neutral or nude are better. Also, you might want to wear a thin layer undershirt or tank to help smooth out any bra lines or hardware outline. Out in public ignore the fact if anyone does look, 90% won't notice another 9% won't be sure what they saw and the 1% that does notice, most likely won't say a thing and will 9 times out of 10 be women who will either ignore you or give you a reassuring smile. Again, it's none of their business.

I have had breasts since I was 14. I am now well into adulthood. I wear 36E (UK) bras and hardly anyone notices. I don't give them a reason to and they don't. Confidence is your best friend. And we are here as support as well because many of us wear bras ourselves.

[Conor W]

Thanks Guys. 
I have been wearing them under thicker shirts and t shirt in winter. Summer time is going to be the challenge. I’m sort of used to it round the house and feel wrong without it. 
My mum got be four bras from the internet. It sort of feels a bit odd talking to her about it. She asked if I was ok but doesn’t really mention it. I maybe need to ask if she can get me some different colours so it doesn’t show as much but I don’t want to look like I want lingerie or something. 
I’m close to telling two of the girls I’m friends with. I’m sure they know. But just don’t say. My boobs fill the bra  and  one of them it’s getting tight. 

[SideSet]

 You sound like you’re doing a great job of handling things. I know it’s not easy, because I was there at your age. You’re really lucky that your mom is so supportive, helpful, and understanding. Great that you have a couple good female friends you trust. I wouldn’t hold back on discussing things with them.

 I know you can’t imagine it now, but there will come a time when putting on your bra when you get dressed will be second nature to you just like it is to all the other women 

[MarcoB]

I find confidence every day in a button down pattern shirt that is a relaxed fit. With a T shirt, at least try some with darker colors and patterns. 

I've been enjoying polo shirts with varying widths of stripes, some stripes being black or at least dark.  Examining myself in the mirror at different angles and lighting, I cannot see any evidence of my gray bra with this shirt, even without an undershirt.  (It was not available in skin color.)  If the weather is cool enough though, I'll definitely put a black undershirt under the shirt.

[Conor W]

Ok, thanks. I think I’m just going to have to cope with summer with layers and stripes. I sort of am used to wearing them around the house and the binder tops feel so uncomfortable.

I asked my mum this morning about different colours. She said she’ll get some and asked if it was better than the binder now I’m used to it. . Worryingly she said pink are good and basically told me to try one of my sisters pink ones which she took. My boobs look bigger in it if anything but I think it’s one that does that.  And it feels strange wearing pink. She also said good luck on hiding them. I could see my sister looking this morning and I hoped mum hadn’t told her. My dad is away with work thankfully.  But the doctor said they would just review later this year. I said how am I going to get through summer. I don’t think we are planning on going to a hot country but she’s booked a cottage in the country. 

[aboywithgirls]

Both my mother and my sister started me out with wearing a bra when I was about your age. My mother sat me down for "the bra talk". She gave me several hand me down bras from my sister when I was 12 because I had a very clear need for the support. My sister gave me others that she didn't like. I wore them off and on for a few years. When I was 16 years old, I had another bra talk and this time I should really wear a bra all the time. I toldnher I would but, I wanted my own. She took me bra shopping and I had my first fitting and I started wearing underwire bras because that's what my sister was wearing.. I was a 34C and I've been wearing a bra every day since.

[Conor W]

Well, I guess we had the bra talk at Christmas. Uncomfortable as it was but I expected it to come given how they look and feel, what the doctor said and the fact they don’t seem to be in a hurry to take them off. It’s me who has to live with them. They did a mammogram and blood tests. Humiliating. I could see the nurses looking. 
I’m sure my female friends know , like my sister they probably thought I should try one  all this time but I don’t really want them looking and I’m  not sure about the guys I know. They would probably just be glad it wasn’t them. 

This pink one is making them look bigger because it’s pushing them up more. They feel supported and lifted , certainly don’t jiggle. I checked with a normal shirt and the colour doesn’t show as much. But in my normal polo top the boobs look bigger. My mum said try it today as she isn’t constantly washing. 

[aboywithgirls]

I know at first, dealing with them while you're young can be difficult. The mammograms and ultrasound scans, sitting in a waiting room full of women, changing into the pink robe.

The breast world is geared towards women. You have to shop in women's stores and women's clothing department for a bra.

I used to try to find the most masculine looking bra I could. Then I realized that no matter what, the bra that I was wearing was made for a woman. That's when I started wearing what I wanted and look how I wanted and be comfortable both physically and mentally. I decided to own my boobs.

[Conor W]

There is no way I could face going to a shop to buy a bra. I was mortified at the hospital and when the doctor felt them. At the hospital he said they were feminine in shape and form.  Bad enough I was looking on line stores and my mum was showing me how to wear it. She said she never thought she would buy her son his first bra. I talked about colours and trying to hide them today. Wearing round the house is one thing but they are obvious I think and I look like a boy with breasts.

[aboywithgirls]

I do understand. We've all been there. Here's the thing, having a full set of breasts is not the worst thing in the world. Over half of the population has a pair. We just happen to be part of the majority. The same goes for wearing a bra. We do so because wearing a bra helps us get through our daily activities. It also helps have a more presentable appearance.

If your mother and sister are offering to help you find bras, it's a good thing. They both know and understand that a bra is more a necessity now for you. They know what works for them and they can advise what are your best bra options.

[Conor W]

Ok, yes, well I am grateful. She was supportive and when we came back from the doctors she bought the binders. As they got bigger we had the chat at Christmas. I know they are bigger as the binder was struggling and right and this b cup bra is full and tight. This is my sisters which is a smaller band but it’s because I asked about colours. It is more comfortable with one of my bras on. My Dad is a way for a month then back for two weeks then away. He was indifferent. Just said I’m sure they will sort it at some point.
It’s just when I look in the mirror I see a lad in boxers and a pink bra it’s crazy. And wearing a bra is making me feel more girly i guess.
I just can’t get my head around how long this is for and what I’m going to do with friends or going out.
The binders don’t really work anymore and I can’t ask for more as my mum has bought me 2 coloured bras this morning on line

[blad]

The most difficult years for dealing with male breast development are definitely the teenage years. It does get better as you leave high school  and head off to college or whatever, as the general level of maturity and individualism rises. I was never bothered or received comments from anyone once I left high school. Your confidence in public settings will only grow and it will become completely routine to put on a bra in the morning and go out and take on the world.

The support you have at home is priceless. It is this sort of at home support for puberty onset gyno that is probably rare as no one wants to talk about it.

[SideSet]

I think it is great that your mother bought you your first bra. I hope you told her how much you appreciate it.