Wearing a bra for now

[Goodnplenty]

If you're worried about trying to hide the bra color under  your clothes you need to match the bra color to your skin tone and not the color of your shirt.  If you're Caucasian try a beige bra.  Many bra companies will have several shades of beige to pick from.  Also there's a reddit group called "a bra that fits" that is very helpful for all things bra related and is friendly to men with gynecomastia. 

[bikerbob]

Taxmapper: I know we are in the minority here, but I find pullover type leisure and low impact sports bras completely adequate for every day wear.  I even wear one for mountain biking.  There is no hardware on the back and they are about as undetectable under a shirt as you can get.  I think they are a good "training bra" for guys with gyno.  I am a 42B going on C.  I do have some underwires I wear now and then, but most of the time the pullovers are fine.

[brock123]

Everything is seemingly a matter of perspective and personal acceptance; we will ultimately do what's "right" for us.  If I may provide a couple/few suggestions that may help you on your personal journey:

• Oalka (search on Amazon) makes really comfy and very 'compressive' sports bras that fit me quite well and provide what I feel to be my most masculine appearance to date, weirdly enough. These may be visible/detectable under a T-Shirt, but under a decent button-down shirt even my wife didn't notice.
• "Layers" work for men more than you might expect; if the goal is concealment, smushing "them" up with a compression garment and then adding another layer to conceal that garment (straps, it's always straps) works pretty well too IMO.  Let's say you opt into something with "spaghetti straps" and you feel that it's too visible for your tastes; adding a simple tank/cami with wider straps over it may very well move you into a more comfortable place.
• Spanx for men (Manx)? It's really a thing, and is functional, if not imperfect.  Their older garments appear to me to do a better job in the chest area, but their newer male offerings are more comfortable overall and do mold a small/moderate fatty/glandular chest to look more like pecks would.  These aren't cheap, and they do tend to concentrate on the belly, but I think may be worth a look if the end goal is to stay masculine and work within those lines.

in the end, you need to "be you" and try to worry less about what anyone else thinks if compared to your personal feelings about yourself.  The person that will go the most unnoticed is the most confident one!

[Johndoe1]

Everyone is different when it comes to bras and hence why there are is a dizzying array styles and models to suit any taste. Everyone's breasts are as different and unique as they are. Men's breasts included. There is no one size fits all.

For those with smaller breasts, A-C cups, then a pull over sports bra type or a bralette type might be all the support you need. If that's the case, you are not alone. Many women fall into this same category and wear this type of bra everyday for the same reasons you do. But if you have D or D+ size breasts, as some of us do, or have more breast tissue or your breasts are more dense, hence more weight hanging off your chest, a pullover or bralette may not give enough support for everyday wear, containment or shaping. More "traditional" bras such as underwire or seamed cup or engineered bras like molded or spacer cup bras work better for support, containment, shaping and to a slightly lesser extent, modesty (high beams, pokies, nipples showing). Just because your "junk" maybe different from a woman's, doesn't mean your breasts are different than a woman's. They are not. Your tissue is made of the same tissue as a woman's. Men normally do not have the proper ratio of hormones to have development as women. But some of us do. As with women, everyone has different levels of development. It just happens to be that most men do not develop pronounced breasts, just like a small number of women who do not develop pronounced breasts as well. And many of them are as distressed about being flat chested as we are about development and for the same reasons. Society says women have defined, pronounced breasts and men are flat chested. The reality is some men have very pronounced, feminine breasts and some woman have flat, manly looking chests, not even needing to wear a bra. Neither diminishes who they are because they don't fit the societal normal. And chest support should not be defined by gender, but need. If a woman feels she doesn't have enough breast development to warrant wearing a bra, then that's her choice. If a man has breast development and finds that wearing a bra is beneficial, then that's his choice and no one should care in either case. But we know that isn't what happens in both cases. I have been discriminated against about buying a bra because it was for me (a male) and not my wife (a female). But all I am trying to do is to be comfortable and have good body image with what body I have. It has nothing to do with gender. It's a physical thing. And I am sure flat chested women are pressured to get a "boob job" to look more "womanly" just like we are pressured to have reductions to look more "manly". Frankly, it's no one's business. Just my opinion.

[curiousk]

John, you sums everything up so well!!   I wear " traditional" bras because I feel more comfortable and contained with that style.  I wear underwire bras 95% of the time.  My breasts have a lot of glandular tissue in them and are getting heavy.  Before I started wearing a bra, I knew that my breasts moved a lot.  After wearing a bra for awhile, taking it off and walking around, my breasts move around a lot!!   So glad that I'm wearing a bra and I don't plan on having surgery to become more "manly".  I'm still a man, but with breasts large enough to need support from a bra.

[Conor W]

So the racer back bra arrived and I’m trying it today. It feels different, more solid. My boobs are like a solid block! It’s different on your back and the strap don’t occasionally slip so I can see the advantage. Puts the pressure in the centre of your back. To me it feels more constrained. 

[Johndoe1]

So the racer back bra arrived and I’m trying it today. It feels different, more solid. My boobs are like a solid block! It’s different on your back and the strap don’t occasionally slip so I can see the advantage. Puts the pressure in the centre of your back. To me it feels more constrained.

So is that constraint better or worse? It sounds like the support you are getting is more comfortable to you and it sounds like it surprises you that a bra can be comfortable and supportive. I too, and I suspect others do too, prefer to have their busts solidly contained for comfort as well as appearance reasons. There's nothing wrong with that. That is what a properly fitting bra is suppose to do. Keep the bust under control of movement and support the weight of the breasts to maintain comfort. If that is what is happening, then the bra is doing its job.

[Conor W]

It just feels different. It’s a bit like having them clamped in position wearing a tight vest. What I do know is they fill the cups. Wearing it round the house today so just in a polo top and it maybe better at the back but I have a chest like the others. I think maybe I got used to the other strap style. Going out later so will switch to a binder but can’t do that much longer. My mum says she only wears these for gym or long walks. To be honest I think I prefer the lighter normal ones. This feels like armour 

[Johndoe1]

It shouldn't be uncomfortable. It may feel snug. Maybe a little more snug than you would think, but that is good. If they feel "clamped in" that is what you want. Again, though, the underband or cups should not be uncomfortable or cutting into your body. You want it to support and keep your breasts from moving around in any direction no matter what position you body might be in and to do that it needs to fit the body like a glove and be very snug on the body. If they are not moving, then the bra is working. Remember, the underband is doing 80% of the work while the straps keep the bra in the correct vertical position on the body. If the straps are doing most of the work, then either the straps are too tight or the underband is too loose.

Just remember that a bra is to support breasts. Not male breasts. Not female breasts. It doesn't discriminate. It is there to support breasts. PERIOD. It is a support garment and nothing else. Not all bras have lace or are pink or look delicate. Bras made for larger breasts look pretty industrial and that is a major complaint of many busty women. "Why don't they make pretty, cute bras in my size." So the notion that bras are frilly really is just a fantasy. Bras that support breasts are not frilly. If they are frilly, they aren't supporting breasts.

I think the comparison to armor is a good one. Many women say they feel like putting on armor when they put their bra on and they like that. It gives them a feeling that their bosom is protected and supported; they don't have to worry about it. It gives them confidence. Just about all of us felt the same way you do now. It is all new and a little unnerving because guys aren't suppose to have breasts and need to wear a bra. A bra is supposed to be a "female" thing and it is hard to get your head wrapped around it. But you eventually see the benefits. Particularly if your breasts continue to grow and/or become heavier making movement or not being supported uncomfortable. Just because you have breasts does not mean you are any less male. It just means you are you. And if you are male, then you are a male with benefits!

[Conor W]

Well, I’m not sure they are benefits. I’m sure I’d be way happier without them. Not sure I’m in to lace and pink but the white lace two I have seem a bit comfier than the racer sports bra. The plain ones are fine, they are triumph. Felt like Madonna in a cone bra in the racer. Maybe I would get more used to it, feels more solid and strapped in. 
My boobs are like a girls, I can see that and when I see my friends, I see my chest looks not too dissimilar when I have a regular bra on. The binder really is getting unmanageable and when they have nothing they move a lot and can ache. The nipples get sensitive because they are big. Just don’t want to be a hermit.
College ends in June. Going to try ride it out till then - then maybe bin then binders.

[Johndoe1]

Most of us (probably all) would rather not have them in the first place. But we do, so what do we do next? That is the question we all answer for ourselves.  At this point, I do not believe there is a wrong answer. It's the answer that is right for each one of us and no answers are the same. For me personally, it's how to get through life the best way. Has it been easy? No. But I am still here. Boobs are not a death sentence; unless you make it so. That has been my take away. And that seems to be true in all life.

For me, bras give me control over my chest. I can dictate how much movement and what my chest looks like depending on the style and type of bra. That's something I didn't have before and not being in control of my chest was a very scary thing to me and not to mention the discomfort of not being supported on top of that.

[curiousk]

John, you are so right with your observation.  Once you you decide you to accept your breasts, the journey and direction you take is up to you.  Honestly, I accepted having breasts early in my life and wish I would have started wearing a bra in my teen years.  It would have made my so much more comfortable.

No it’s not easy to be a man with breasts, but it can be managed.  Having enlarged breasts is not a death sentence, but it takes commitment, education, trial and error, and acceptance to allow to live your life. 

If bras make you the most comfortable, you will not put that binder back on.  You just won’t.  As John said, bras help you control their movement and appearance.  Honestly, people don’t see what you see and if they do, they don’t say anything.  Wear the bra that works for you, regardless of the color or fabric, and be you.

[Conor W]

Well, since chatting on here, I have sort of seen that I need to take a bit of control in this. I’ll try the racer again but I’m wearing a regular bra today and it feels easier and better. Lest constraining but supports and sorts most wobbling. I don’t want to ask my mum for more so I’ll buy similar ones maybe in other colours. 
I think in June when  college finishes I might just have coffee with the two girls and just turn up wearing it and see if they say anything. Wearing them infront of lads is another thing. 
My dad is home in June for two weeks and I suspect he will notice I’m bigger. 

[Johndoe1]

Honestly, people don’t see what you see and if they do, they don’t say anything.  Wear the bra that works for you, regardless of the color or fabric, and be you.

All I see looking down on my chest are two mountains sticking out. People looking head on see something completely different. They are not sure what they see, if they see anything at all. I wear bras and tops that do not draw attention to my chest, so people don't have a reason to look. You see women do this very thing all the time. If they want you to see their chest, they wear bras and tops that you see their breasts. If they don't want you to see them, they seemingly, disappear. i use that same tactic as successfully as women do.

[Traveler]

Honestly, people don’t see what you see and if they do, they don’t say anything.  Wear the bra that works for you, regardless of the color or fabric, and be you.

All I see looking down on my chest are two mountains sticking out. People looking head on see something completely different.

Both these statements are so true! I look down and see nothing but bust, Yet, I don’t dress or look female in the least. Just more proof that 99.99% of the people only see what they expect to see. Read as much as you can in the acceptance garment section, lots of great tips on obscuring your assets. What you can’t hide you can blend in.