Acceptance, starts within.

[Orb]

  As I have stated, this is my second go around here.  I have been body shamed all my life.  It’s still hard to shake even as I enter my 6^th decade.  A lot has happened, evolved.  In my twenties working myself into buying clothing off the “Athletic cut” rack to here, rocking a C cup.  I have always stood up for those different.  Those shamed, mocked, ridiculed for, not fitting into norms.  I have done a lot of reading and appreciate everyone for who they are and where they came from.  I think, honestly, it took, A Boy With girls, Sophie, now, for me to gain yet another insight.  I love the fact that there is acceptance on so many levels.  I love what Sophie has become, is.   I have gained yet another level of acceptance as a result.  I still want to present as male.  It’s me.  Perhaps my hormones haven’t gotten that third gigger of “E”.  We are a strange lot, humanity.    One not often understood, however… NORMAL.  Self-acceptance for me, is all that matters.  Acceptance starts within, blocking out how others see me.  They don’t know me.   My prayer is for you as well!

Cheers my friends

[Busty]

Acceptance morphs into embracing and making the most of what you have. 

[42CSurprise!]

I have a card on my refrigerator with a quote from Oscar Wilde.  It says Be yourself.  Everybody else is taken.  I get a chuckle out of that but it is a bit bittersweet since so much of my life I've lived in shame over who I am and how I behave.  I've tried to make it all work but the price has been high at times.  This website has helped me greatly in accepting my appreciation for brassieres and my pleasure in wearing one when that is my choice.  I'm aware that it is since discovering the fact other men have breasts and enjoy brassieres that I've filled a small drawer in my dresser with an assortment of brassieres.  I've also experimented with wearing a brassiere both at home and in my community.  I even showed two of my women friends what my breasts look like in one of those brassieres.  It was at the end of a Zoom call and these two women were interested to see what my brassiere looked like.  One seemed shocked when she said, "You've got boobs!"  Yes I do.  I've been a boob man most of my life, but those breasts were on women I found attractive.  This is a bit different, but my appreciation for a well-formed breast in an attractive brassiere continues.  Now all I have to do is look in a mirror.

I know the man who started this website.  He is a gay man who hated the fact he had breasts and though he started this website, he eventually had his breasts surgically removed.  He was very happy with the decision and the outcome.  And, he sold this site to doctors who make a living removing breasts.  I imagine he is the one who included a forum for acceptance on the website, but frankly, that is likely not the direction these doctors endorse.  That said, I expect there is not a great deal of interest in the celebration of breasts and alternative lifestyles on this website.  Gender fluidity is getting considerable attention among younger folk and slippery hormones can lead us there... as Sophie has demonstrated.  Whether full expression of differences will work is an open question.  I say that without any idea of what that might look like.  But as this thread tells us... acceptance begins within.  I'm all for that.  Thanks everyone for sharing in this important conversation.

[blad]

When I developed breasts at age 13 there was no end to the taunting comments at school that I needed to wear a bra. Pre internet, I did not even know what gyno was or how I ended up with female like boobs. There was often intense embarrassment from the comments made to me, especially if made in front of or by girls.  

But I did become curious if all those comments at school were right and if I would actually fit a bra. Alone at home one day I had the idea to try one of my sister's bras. It was an instant revelation at how well my breast filled the bra cups. Checking out my presentation in the mirror with a bra on and looking down at the cleavage of the breasts held by the bra cups had a surprisingly positive feeling by me despite my general embarrassment of my breasts. 

For the first time I had positive feelings of myself while wearing a bra and it just felt right to have one on. I knew right away that the kids at school were right that I needed a bra but of course I could not admit that to them. In a strange way I would have been satisfied if I could have worn a bra full time to school and been accepted by others. So although I came to a tenuous acceptance of myself and my breasts while wearing a bra, I was held back by the attitude of others. I was less accepting of myself when I was not able to wear a bra, and was also noticing I was definitely less comfortable when not wearing a bra.

[SideSet]

Blad, that was me, exactly.  Except it was my mother’s bras that fit me.  After getting over the initial surprise, I loved the idea that I could fill the cups of my mother’s bras.  I just felt so good in a bra and that a bra looked so good on me. 

I wanted to openly wear a bra like all the other girls in my class. But, instead I felt I had to keep it a secret.  It made me sad that I felt and looked best in a bra, but had to go around braless most of the time. 

[Orb]

  Everyone has a similar yet unique story.  I like what I'm reading.  Everyone so far has gained a level acceptance.  One often found later than would have liked.
 
  I found that the ability to love others first starts with ones own ability to love self.  The same I feel can be said of acceptance of self and others. For me to "see" people for who they are and accept them I must first have an acceptance of myself, body and mind.  Inner peace.  It is something that you have to learn. Earn.  Many will never get there.  That's why plastic surgeons still make a living.  Keeping a dialog that is both positive and supportive is key here. 

  Thank you all,
 
  Orb

[aboywithgirls]

I, like most here  know that a bra was/is the right way to go. That's because a bra makes our life better.  It offers us control, support and a more attractive shape. Well I guess I can only speak for myself about the importance of shape.. lol 😆. me, I just started earlier. I can say that a bra did not make me a woman. I was a woman from the moment I took my first breath. I don't feel as if I transitioned to womanhood as much as I just stopped pretending to be a man. I feel blessed that my hormones naturally gave me my curves.

Acceptance of our breasts and choosing a to wear a bra because we have breasts is one thing. My choice to wear a skirt and heels was not a because of my female breasts as much as it was my female brain. 

[42CSurprise!]

I KNOW the fact we're talking about breasts and brassieres does not mean we are intent on transitioning.  I certainly am not.  But I came across this quote in an article I read about the "language of gender."  The link is below.

...What people see as a "transition" is actually an alignment in one or more dimensions of the individual's gender as they seek congruence across those dimensions. A transition is taking place, but it is often other people (parents and other family members, support professionals, employers, etc.) who are transitioning in how they see the individual's gender, and not the person themselves. For the person, these changes are often less of a transition and more of an evolution. Instead of "transitioning," a more apt phrase is "pursuing congruence measures."

https://genderspectrum.org/articles/language-of-gender


For the men here who conclude wearing women's clothes works better for their body as it exists right now... definitely breasts but perhaps other curves as well, this quote may have relevance.  We are not trying to defend some ideal of masculinity... we're living our lives to the best of our abilities.  And yes, to do that we really must come to acceptance and it does start within.  Of course, it is very helpful talking with other men who are on a similar journey.  Again, the word is similar.  There is no right way to do any of this and each person's decisions are worthy of respect.  A friend I worked with years ago said "you never know until you're in the bullfighter's shoes."  How we came to who we are at this moment is really the story of our lives and every story is unique, even when we see similarities.  The kids in my gym class were different from the ones in yours.  Circumstances in my home was different from what happened in your home.  It isn't easy to accept that reality.  We're inclined to believe we know the truth and those who don't fall in line with what we believe are wrong, perhaps even bad.  It really is time to grow up and take responsibility for our own lives, messy as they may be.  And having a bit of respect for our fellows doesn't hurt at all.
 

[taxmapper]

I am going to bring up some information that will be both accepted and rejected by various individuals. 

It is not my attempt at defining anyone, nor broad brushing anything. Just a point of discussion. 

Being the curious informative type that I am, and as a means to enhance my already large collection of useless information I started running searches on brainwaves, EEG's and transfemininity/ transgenderism. 

What I found is surprising!  

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/research-on-the-transgender-brain-what-you-should-know/

"And the brain similarities aren’t only structural.
“We’re also finding some functional similarities between the transgender brain and its identified gender,” Dr. Altinay says.
In studies that use MRIs to take images of the brain as people perform tasks, the brain activity of transgender people tends to look like that of the gender they identify with."



https://news.usc.edu/158899/transgender-research-usc-brain-gender-identity/

Vanhoecke aims to study systems of the brain, including a part of the brain’s white matter that might be involved in differences between sex assigned at birth and gender identity. It’s called the inferior fronto-occipital fasciculus, a bundle of white brain fibers that runs along the lower portion of the brain between the occipital and frontal lobes. Analyzing its structure in greater detail might offer clues about its role in gender identity and guide future studies, he said.



https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/05/180524112351.htm

In addition, GD adolescent girls showed a male-typical brain activation pattern during a visual/spatial memory exercise. Finally, some brain structural changes were detected that were also more similar, but not identical, to those typical of the desired gender of GD boys and girls.


https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn20032-transsexual-differences-caught-on-brain-scan/

Guillamon isn’t sure whether the four regions are at all associated with notions of gender, but Ivanka Savic-Berglund at the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm, Sweden, thinks they might be. One of the four regions – the superior longitudinal fascicle – is particularly interesting, she says. “It connects the parietal lobe [involved in sensory processing] and frontal lobe [involved in planning movement] and may have implications in body perception.”


https://www.thedailybeast.com/what-science-can-tell-us-about-trans-peoples-brainsand-what-it-cannot

(this page was a one time freebee that requires a subscription) 


The information clearly shows that regardless of what you personally have gone through, there is clear evidence that both physical and/or mental aspects including breast growth shows up in brain scans and those en-turn sometimes shows a propensity to the "trans" side of things. 

The last article is of particular interest because the experiment talked directly about breasts.  What was discovered (read for yourself) was that the trans identity for cic-women vs. trans women was very similar with taps to the breast, whereas cic-men and trans-men had the same disconnect of "not there, don't want it". 

Another takeaway for me at least was when reading these articles I was able to get an idea that many of the aspects of actual breasts existence is (IMO) hardwired into the brain and where many men will say...TAKE THEM GET RID OF THEM, many others including myself actually want them there!  Meaning our brains either were already wired or perhaps wired itself as a result of the breast growth or some similar aspect. 

Accept it or not and not an advocate either way, I found the reading very insightful! 


Basically there is a possibility that some of the physical aspects may be wired to a "feminine" side of the brain. 

Thus do circle back to the OP, the acceptance is in fact personal. And as biological males who in large part sees ourselves as male, the growth of breasts may be impacted emotionally and psychological with how our brains wind up being wired regardless if it is a natural from birth thing or something that is wired at a alter date, is yet to be known. 

[42CSurprise!]

That is all interesting reading taxmapper and certainly concurrent with the reality some of us experienced as adolescents with hormonal development that made our bodies more feminine.  The idea that gender consists of only two discrete islands is absurd.  That doesn't stop those who are uncomfortable with differences from insisting those differences be ignored, but that is hardly useful information for us.  We need to find our own way with kindness and care.  I know this is what men here are doing.  And again, I believe there is a clear difference between those men whose hormonal balance changed later in life and those who experienced them when we were younger.  We've never known anything else... going from childhood through adolescence to adulthood with bodies affected by elevated estrogen.  Our breasts are only one marker of those affects.  So here we are.

[blad]

This can get deep.

But all I know is that I grew breasts at a young age and through trial and error found that I adapted to them best while wearing a bra. If I could have snapped my fingers at a young age to get rid of them I would have, as they complicated my life. The attitude of others was the most significant issue, not actually living with breasts per say. Without external social pressure, it was easy living with breasts when nicely contained in a bra.

[SideSet]

Same here. My breasts felt and looked good when I was wearing a bra. And I felt good about my breasts when I was wearing a bra. However, my opportunities to wear a bra were limited. Ironically, limited by the  attitudes and actions of the very people telling me I needed to wear a bra. 

 If I could have worn a bra without abuse, I would’ve worn one every day just like all the other girls in my class. And I would’ve felt comfortable, happy and proud.  Instead,  I had to deal with unpleasant jiggling and chapped nipples, feeling self-conscious, and a love-hate relationship with my breasts.  That is a lot for a young teenager to handle 

[aboywithgirls]

I had my share of ridicule in high school. I had my band snapped a few times. It was mostly guys and a couple of girls that got their satisfaction from picking on someone vulnerable like me.

However, most of the girls were very understanding and empathetic to my situation. They were trying to figure out their changing bodies and bras as well. I had great support at home to.

The support I had was greater than the criticism which led me to greater self acceptance of my breasts and my eventual steps to womanhood.

[Orb]

I feel the world is evolving.  Changing.  Science and education has helped this process along.  How we see ourselves and treat others helps.  Teasing as kids, by kids, and adults is just cruel and demeaning. 
Wearing a bra for comfort and ultimately changing how we feel about ourselves is paramount here. Or not wearing if you so choose.   Schools are now having inclusive education.  Autistic children mainstreaming in all schools.  It has brought a new level of awareness and acceptance of and for them.  I feel that same change of mindset is happening and will for those who have a variation of the hormonal cocktail.  I’ve had my share of things come my way.  It took time but I have lived in peace for quite some time using one model.  I will not prove others right by living and accepting the views others see of me.  I will prove them wrong not right. Choosing to not let their world view dictate how I live.  I hope to  be remembered for how I handled the situation not because of the situation.  People would say, oh there goes…he has cancer.  Chin up for me.  Rather people say wow there goes…and he has had ______ and look at him!  You would never know.
I am treating myself like I want others to treat me.  We often say treat others how you want them to treat you.  I’m beating them to the punch, treating myself with acceptance first.

[42CSurprise!]

I appreciate this conversation.  This matter goes much deeper that breasts and brassieres.  Yes, it is good to feel we are among friends who understand what it is like when we carry breasts on our chest.  But as folks here are noting, the presence of breasts when we were younger brought attention we didn't want and even confusion about what was happening with our bodies.  I would like to believe the world is more accepting of differences.  I know a friend whom I met through discussions of men who were sexually abused as boys and who now teaches in elementary school.  He told me recently about training teachers were getting in watching for signs of abuse at home.  I was shocked and relieved.  He lives in a small town in an agricultural region, not a major city.  Perhaps the world is becoming more sensitive to differences but kids are no more kind to one another than their parents and we know full well there is a great deal of prejudice and hatred in the world... often rooted in differences that somehow pose a threat.  We've all found a way to survive.  For some it has been easier than for others because hormonal expression can be confusing and understanding can be limited... at school and at home.  But here we are as adults finding self-acceptance and even beginning to appreciate our breasts.  This is the body we've each been given... what a shame to reject it... to accept the judgment of others when this is the only life we've been given.  This is important to understand... and enjoying a nice looking brassiere that enhances the appearance of our breasts is a good thing we get to share with one another.  I'm rather mesmerized by my breasts... but that is me.  Have a great day everyone.